Oceanzest 5 7 5 Haiku Challenge

by salamunaDeventer, Overijssel, Netherlands

Jun 2021 462 Views 8 comments

Oceanzest 5.7.5. Haiku Challenge

First summer rain.
I open and then
I fold up my umbrella.
…………
First one, then another
Leaf trembles
On the apple tree
………
You smile.
Far away the bird takes off
From the slow ice floe

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Posted: Jun 2021

About this poem:

the best i could write. I never was goed in haiku

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Comments (8)

OceanzestHamilton, Waikato New ZealandJun 15, 2021

Aah you see I think you have the idea in that last one - my brain is toiling to make a rational connection between the smile and the birds flight, good, good, that's the appeal..

Mizzy4Navan, Meath IrelandJun 15, 2021

Lovely Haiku Lily,
My favourite is the last one...

Regards Mick.

salamunaOPDeventer, Overijssel NetherlandsJun 15, 2021

Ocean, yeeessss, you ve got it ! many thanks . lily

salamunaOPDeventer, Overijssel NetherlandsJun 15, 2021

thank you Mick. i am really not good in haiku..but i like it. red was the best here in writing haiku. pitty she is not appearing on poet s corner anymore, even i see her poems in blogs . Lily

online today!

southmiami4321Tampa, Florida USAJun 15, 2021

Haiku has endless possibilities Salamuna and challenges your mind. Enjoyed each one! SM

yasparkWilliamsville, New York USAJun 19, 2021

Nice try Lilly!

online today!

godsprincessOwego, New York USAJun 21, 2021

Better then my try Lily - not my kind of poems I'm afraid. The last stanza makes sense to me. You smile when you see the beauty of the bird flies up from the slow ice flow!

Kathy

salamunaOPDeventer, Overijssel NetherlandsJul 3, 2021

Many thanks SM for your lovely comment. Lily

Appreciated Yas

Kathy your haiku are very good. You are doing great. My applause. Thanks for stopping by. Lily