missed kiss

pouted lips waiting
head turned to see something new
result: a missed kiss
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Feb 27
About this poem:
senryu (5-7-5)
not half haiku

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Comments (11)

Socrates, you surprise us at times; as you capture incredible moments...Enjoyed SM
EXRED3online today!
me too SM surprising us, brilliant though teddybear
Great subject for Haiku.... it's like being in a car and missing a wave.....when someone waves in a passing car......there's that hesitancy and moment that has passed and you almost feel guilty for reacting too slowly.....laugh
Humorous Senryu Socrates
Good work.

socrates44online today!

Glad you enjoyed the piece.
socrates44online today!

Thanks for your kind comment.
socrates44online today!

Thanks for your comment.

Based on what you stated, can I say:

someone in car waved
I paused and car drove away
I did not wave back

By the way, this is a senryu.
A short Japanese style poem, similar to haiku in structure, however, senryu tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature
A heart full of love given
Expecting the same
But waiting in vain
What do you call this Socrates,please comment.I do not write any more,but read yours and some of our former poets who are still on.You have a wise head on your shoulders.Blessings.
socrates44online today!

Thanks for your favourable comment

All the best to you.
socrates44online today!

I think your writing quoted below:
"A heart full of love given
Expecting the same
But waiting in vain"

is an authentic description of unrequited love.
A slight adjustment can express it in senryu (5-7-5) form:

a heart full of love
given: expecting the same
but waiting in vain

Thanks for your kind comment
Socrates Thank you for explaining the difference to me. I focus much more towards nature when writing poetry, which I suppose can combine both forms together? Very creative and structured style.....and inspiring.....
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