within my self within my room within my thoughts i reside

i walk slow and want to see
but i answer too fast and miss it

i have changed but the roots are still there
i want to change but the roots are rotted
i want the roots to be different but they are the roots and i am grateful even proud of the blooms and the leaves and the rot of my own doing and the undoing of what rot ive got

in and of my travels and lessons i abide
tho with trepidation and haste side by side
and all the while looking okay
seeming fine
screaming inside
but only for a minute, a short minute or a sob

its a journey- im on it and it is good within my within