My anywhere is…
The other day, I heard her song, not one she had ever chosen, but the one I thought as her song
As the chords and notes rippled across my mind, I saw her once again in time, her feet tapping the cadence to that song she loved, just the little ditty of hers, anywhere is, it said, anywhere is,
And I saw her
And here I am, anywhere but with her, in my heart, in my mind, in my soul, in my life; nowhere is
I watched in my mind’s eye as the tears streamed down my cheeks, knowing it was foolish
Knowing the years, the life, was left, was gone from her mind, but still achingly clear in mine

As my heart broke again with each of the chords of that remembered song, and I heard her voice
I wondered, did she ever think of me, did she miss the things we had, the things we had done?
Knowing the answer, afraid to hear it from her lips, I would never ask, never dare to truly know
Knowing is half the battle, yet this battle rages on, and I would gladly not know that answer
Gladly never know that loss in my life, the moments of loss in time, these are those I wish to forget

As each femtosecond ticks forward and the heart begins its contraction, moves into its expansion
As each drop of blood begins to course through the body, it carries my hearts screaming agony
And I demand of an uncaring, unknowing and constantly expanding universe why, and when will it end
Yet it hears me not, it answers me not, and so I trod on, alone, lost, bewildered, and bemused
As the Motion on the ocean moves me further away, I realize I am lost on the ocean of time

The expanse to never be crossed, to bring me to long lost and sought moment, where and when
Where and when I can fix what was broken, to bring forth joy for us both or at least surcease
Surcease and calm, to bring this peace into my heart, for this I would sell my soul, with no buyer evident, no purchaser with any intent is there in this lost and beleaguered vale, where darkness reigns, then darkness of the heart, of the mind and of the soul, where the bleakness is as the void

In this, for this, and to this, I would gladly give away, to anyone else but her, and be, truly, to be anywhere else. But it seems that I am not to have that rest, for even my dreams, my tortured haunted dreams resonate with the loss, where fear strikes not, and all is still lost and all is still gone.
Anywhere, Anywhere, Anywhere is, Anywhere is, that is, but here, alone; this is where I am
Anywhere, but where I long to be the most, and so anywhere and everywhere is… Alone.