"The wise old man said..'there are two types of anger my friend, explosive and implosive'....don't riddle with me wise man I said, get to the point and be narrative, explain yourself, stop being evasive..

"I am a wise man for a reason, so please be patient with me...you'll be better off in life if you just listen to me, wait and see"...

"Such impatience for one so young, you remind me of me, carried me a gun in my waist, wanted to put the world to right, my gun, my self ritious attitude and me"

"Go ahead then wise old man, fill me with your history, don't nibble on the barrel, pull the trigger and let me hear your tall story"

"Okay young buck, here it is...went to McDonald's on a day when I was penniless, brave, stupid and absolutely fearless"

"I want a Big Mac just like in the picture, all plump and full with all the trimmings, don't scam with a bun with a gurhkin and soggy fillings"

"Here you are sir, that'll be £2.99, as he handed me a carton, anything else for you sir..'no..that'll be just fine"

"Opened me the box, what the hell is this i said..it's flat as a pancake, it's nothing like the picture, there's no shape to it, where's the big thick burger, and the juicy tomato and relish that go's with it?

"Pulled my gun from my waist and demanded to speak to Ronald McDonald, and not the management..wanted justice, fairness, a burger not a waffle"

"I'm sorry sir but Ronalds gone home, the cheeky little bugger said..All i had was a feeling to shoot this pointless squirt in the middle of his forehead"

"A struggle ensued with me and son of Ronald...we fall to the floor, the gun go's off, I moaned and groaned, just like in the picture, i wanted a McDonald's....

"So here I am young Buck, crippled for life and wheelchairbound, for that bullet shot through my spine...justice was served of course for my stupid fearless act of crime...and since that day I swore to myself and made a lifelong pact....

If you want a big fat burger, make it yourself.......