Now mary hated serving
her hubby paddy found
so her getting a cup of tea
with slippers and a scone
the odds of it arriving
were 25 to 1

Now paddy loved the horses
while mary had to work
that's it she said one afternoon
i cant take anymore
and in a temper waited for him
to come in front door

i m home my dear he shouted
is me tea ready for me
she shouted back its ready pet
and this he was to see
as a clock whistled past his head
the hands said 4.30

A teapot followed behind it
with cups and saucers too
though his reflexes were pretty sharp
as he swerved the crockery
but did nt dodge the rolling pin
that caught him on the knee

As the pain went through his body
he let out a mighty shout
and did not see the saucepan
that gave his head a clout
bruised and shaken paddy was
as she nearly knocked him out

Pet what is the trouble
he have baked did reply
before a donut filled with jam
hit him in the face
a custard tart and apple pie
landed both in the same place

So when you think to marry
pick your mrs carefully
make sure she loves the horses
and waits on you with bliss
if only paddy thought of that
those missiles he d have missed