Why is it harder to find your partner than a new Job when over 40 ? ( Archived) (28)

Probably because we want a partner now, not a job, that's why jobs are close to our hands, but partners keep a very long distance from us. If we wanted job and not a partner, the situation would change. No chance for a job, but thousands of partners crawling all around us eager to get in touch and love us for ever.

Hi Narnia93

The only problem if you don't want to stay alone is probably that there is nobody matching around you.
There are so many people , can it be that we are soooo different ?
kr Ramon

Congratulation !
You are lucky !

..very good answer
A Job is also a way to a partner.
Who wants a partner without job.
Everybody might think it's not serious or criminal or no good future.
kr
Ramon

...then you have the problem to choose.
But the problem is bigger than thought.
You maybe will not concentrate on one girl with you heart to trigger the spark. Many do comparisons in advantages till all feelings are gone.
kr
Ramon

Buenos tardes Jan !

You mean we lost our flexibility ?

kr
Ramon

Thanks for the 60 advice, it will become more than adventurous
Everybody fears chains.
We shall not find chains but a warm reliable heart beating for us.
kr
Ramon

Hi 70Libra !
You are generally right !
But isn't it about your expections ?
A partner for fun you'll get anytime, correct, especially when having your look
But a partner for life and your heart ?

For the case I believed you => where is that bus station ? ;))

Hi Calliopesgirl !

Maybe there is no man and Job matching your imagination?
You seem to be a happy Lady.
Are there different attitudes or targets.
Don't you like the men around you?
Are we angry to fall in love with somebody that could leave us?
Do we fear a broken heart ?

kr
Ramon

Hi Fieldworking !

Many leave their parents together with a partner.
This is something like a smooth change because the parents are reachable on problems.
When departing many years later maybe the parents don't live anymore (as in my case)
This is the time you define yourself from new.
And this can happen also with 30. The result is independency, safety and pride that make you feel better.
Values you don't want to put on risk ?

kr
Ramon

Because the older we get, the more selfish we are, which finally results in disability to have a realistic expectations.

Because we have to have a job - unless we're ultra rich, and so we accept compromises to put bread on the table, perhaps taking a job that isn't what we really really want but hey, it's a job. At 40, however, or over 40, we know that we can get by just fine being single and we are not forced to accept compromises and/or accepting something that's not quite right. We know that life is easier and better single than being with someone for the sake of it. So what I'm saying is: we're fussier, because we can be!

It would be because I have kids.
Sharing them means I can't move to be near potential partners so a local lady is the only option and as there aren't many around here, that makes it hard.

Hello Nephrite !

I'm sure that we all are slightly different but more than 90% are not (yet) selfish
Worse than selfish (no way) to me are criminals and the ones from the late working Lady business.

Do you thing that the wishes and targets of all other are so different to yours?
Some of us have strange hobbies but having the one makes you happy you wouldn't mind. You will become used. And maybe you will like it someday.

I think we do not dare to trigger the spark that makes us a loving couple. We won't believe to become happy one more time and otherwise we fear to get hurt again.
I think we loose the chance to check our chemistry with a quick "NO"
I do not speak for me alone by saying that the real value is what we feel when holding in arms.

Theoretically everybody could be your love when you like the face on CS.
My only expectation is to be happy in Love.
Anything else does not count.
That deep feeling that makes you believe your love is a piece of yourself you must not loose, to take her in my heart and she will become part of my heart.

kr
Ramon

Hi Anna !

You are right by saying that we are fussier. and I think that it's better to be alone than with the wrong one.

But the wish to fall in love, to be loved and to be happy has everybody.
Isn't it the cocktail of emotions, the enthusiastic feeling that makes you jump for happiness that rocks your life. And keeps away the boring gray days, months or even years ?

I feel that everyday is slightly wasted when I don't love somebody certain. I do my work but not knowing for whom.
For myself alone I got everything I need.
Perhaps a man needs a reason to work and fight.
I do..

Thanks for your reply
kr
Roman

Hi Anna !

You are right by saying that we are fussier. and I think that it's better to be alone than with the wrong one.

But the wish to fall in love, to be loved and to be happy has everybody.
Isn't it the cocktail of emotions, the enthusiastic feeling that makes you jump for happiness that rocks your life. And keeps away the boring gray days, months or even years ?

I feel that everyday is slightly wasted when I don't love somebody certain. I do my work but not knowing for whom.
For myself alone I got everything I need.
Perhaps a man needs a reason to work and fight.
I do..

Thanks for your reply
kr
Roman

Hi Anna !

You are right by saying that we are fussier. and I think that it's better to be alone than with the wrong one.

But the wish to fall in love, to be loved and to be happy has everybody.
Isn't it the cocktail of emotions, the enthusiastic feeling that makes you jump for happiness that rocks your life. And keeps away the boring gray days, months or even years ?

I feel that everyday is slightly wasted when I don't love somebody certain. I do my work but not knowing for whom.
For myself alone I got everything I need.
Perhaps a man needs a reason to work and fight.
I do..

Thanks for your reply
kr
Roman

Hello, Ramon :-)

I formulated this opinion simply because of.......some very disappointing experience, which I faced here......I am still very new here, at about 2 weeks

Basically, we ALL are looking for something, but in my age of 34 I want just to....like the man. Do not have many requirements - I have stated them.
But someone else here wanted woman like good looking, educated, healthy, wise, with moral values, not greedy, and bla bla, and always was saying ''I WANT, I LOOK FOR, MY NEEDS, MY HOBBIES, MY INTERESTS'' - ok, nothing bad. But then I revealed that he was lying about his age....even without the lie the difference between us was somehow a bit out of the border, i.e.I have already made some compromise.

Well, what is this if not a huge EGOISM? His dreams, his hopes, his requirements, his expectations......what about mine? In the name of everything HIS he is ready even to lie

I am sorry about my expressions, but still feel very upset because of this. And yes.....he was also talking me a lot about love.....ha-ha

In other words, dear Ramon, everybody answers your question according to their own experience

PS: I do not have a problem to accept someones hobbies, etc.