Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)? (189)
kidatheart: I'm sure we could find better things to do than argue.
yah...i'm sure we could....but email is kinda limiting...
kidatheart: See how easy it is to diffuse a possible arguement with a little listening, and some understanding.
You sure are right!!
Don´t anyone tell him .... but ....
It´s those sunglasses!! I saw my reflection going
in them and scared myself quiet!! 
trisher69: Curious
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It is a horrible ideea to have an open marriage..
jono7: yah...i'm sure we could....but email is kinda limiting...
It is, but it's working, for now.
eoprea: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It is a horrible ideea to have an open marriage..
It is a horrible ideea to have an open marriage..
Why is it so horrible?
kidatheart:
If it's an open relationship, it's not infidelity, so that negates that entire arguement, null and void. I don't see how being honest with your partner means you lack integrity, hardly the case.
If it's an open relationship, it's not infidelity, so that negates that entire arguement, null and void. I don't see how being honest with your partner means you lack integrity, hardly the case.
Just because you are honest with your partner doesn't mean you have integrity either. The simple fact that you are in a relationship but still want to sleep with other people would indicate that you do lack integrity. Someone with integrity would end the relationship first.
The question still remains. Why maintain a relationship at all-if both parties want to be with other people?
I guess it comes down to what a relationship means to a person. For me-an open relationship is an oxymoron. It by definition is not a relationship.
Når to mennesker gifter sig med hinanden er det på grond af kærlighed til hinanden. ikke utroskab
No, I don't believe in it. Why get married at all then??
You promise to love & respect that one person you want to be with and if you are not ready for something like that then you shouldn't give those promises...
You promise to love & respect that one person you want to be with and if you are not ready for something like that then you shouldn't give those promises...
No
I plan on my next(Last) to be as fulfilling and passionate as the one that ended in '98...
We won't have Time for anyone else..!!
I plan on my next(Last) to be as fulfilling and passionate as the one that ended in '98...
We won't have Time for anyone else..!!
bodleing: Unintended pun.
Honesty and respect, they're both essential.
WinterCherry: No, I don't believe in it. Why get married at all then??
You promise to love & respect that one person you want to be with and if you are not ready for something like that then you shouldn't give those promises...
You promise to love & respect that one person you want to be with and if you are not ready for something like that then you shouldn't give those promises...
Wouldn't that make all the divorced people on the planet hypocrites?
PS: Nice taste in shoes.
kidatheart: Wouldn't that make all the divorced people on the planet hypocrites? PS: Nice taste in shoes.
People get divorced for different reasons, but some are hypocrites, yes. However, we were talking about an open marriage & I think if you know from the beginning that you will be sleeping with others then what's the point of getting married...
P.S. Thanks
WinterCherry: People get divorced for different reasons, but some are hypocrites, yes. However, we were talking about an open marriage & I think if you know from the beginning that you will be sleeping with others then what's the point of getting married...P.S. Thanks
Some people like, or even need, the feeling of security that a marriage provides them. I've often wondered if some get married simply for taxation purposes though.
drbombay: I will not condone or sugarcoat open marriage(not normal or healthy mentally)-no gray area-mono y mono-all the rest is BS.
That would be your opinion, and you're entitled to it.
I see it as whetver people want to do, and are comfortable with.
kidatheart: That would be your opinion, and you're entitled to it.
I see it as whetver people want to do, and are comfortable with.
I understand that point Harry but I still will stand on ceremony that it is not healthy psychologically in the long run..I see it as whetver people want to do, and are comfortable with.
drbombay: I understand that point Harry but I still will stand on ceremony that it is not healthy psychologically in the long run..
I have to agree with you on this Doc
drbombay: I will not condone or sugarcoat open marriage(not normal or healthy mentally)-no gray area-mono y mono-all the rest is BS.
i'm not saying it couldn't work for someone else. but i've met a few folks in 'open marriages', and every single time...one person in the relationship was only doing it in an attempt to hang on to the other...the folks that used to lived next door to me, for years, had an open marriage. i both know, and like them both very much. but as soon as he started introducing younger, more beautiful women into their lives...(and she was starting to get older),and what she had been 'happy' with for the first 20 yrs of their marriage, no longer brought her happiness, but she continued anyways...and yes, they are still together.
jono7: i'm not saying it couldn't work for someone else. but i've met a few folks in 'open marriages', and every single time...one person in the relationship was only doing it in an attempt to hang on to the other...the folks that used to lived next door to me, for years, had an open marriage. i both know, and like them both very much. but as soon as he started introducing younger, more beautiful women into their lives...(and she was starting to get older),and what she had been 'happy' with for the first 20 yrs of their marriage, no longer brought her happiness, but she continued anyways...and yes, they are still together.
YIKES
jono7: i'm not saying it couldn't work for someone else. but i've met a few folks in 'open marriages', and every single time...one person in the relationship was only doing it in an attempt to hang on to the other...the folks that used to lived next door to me, for years, had an open marriage. i both know, and like them both very much. but as soon as he started introducing younger, more beautiful women into their lives...(and she was starting to get older),and what she had been 'happy' with for the first 20 yrs of their marriage, no longer brought her happiness, but she continued anyways...and yes, they are still together.
Yes, but it is few & far between realistically speaking & I will not get married again but that is irrelevant for marriage is supposedly committed to one person & one person only no matter what gender as far as I'm concerned. MONO Y MONO-end of story-I will not entertain matter of opinion.drbombay: Yes, but it is few & far between realistically speaking & I will not get married again but that is irrelevant for marriage is supposedly committed to one person & one person only no matter what gender as far as I'm concerned. MONO Y MONO-end of story-I will not entertain matter of opinion.
Not supposedly-it is a committment to one person & just to clarify for me Adam & Eve...
drbombay: I understand that point Harry but I still will stand on ceremony that it is not healthy psychologically in the long run..
Why do you say that?
Is it because of societal pressure to conform, or something else?
It is technically possible, yes. If the people involved are particularly enlightened it can work. I know of one married couple who practise a version of open marriage quite successfully and have done so for a long time now. Of course most people never fully mature psychologically and still frequently resort to their petty, childish jealousies in which case it will have no chance.
As for those here who claim that marriage is supposed to be between two people; please realise that that is a particularly singular, blinkered and Christian view. Marriage is an agreement between two people yes, but how it operates in practise is up to them, not you. And you should be aware that many Islamic marriages do not conform to your narrow perception of what marriage is. Irrespective of your other feelings surrounding Islam, you cannot invalidate all Muslim marriages just because you don't agree with it. Not that I am a fan of the Islamic system of marriage but me not subscribing to it doesn't eliminate it's relevance to hundreds of thousands of people.
If I had found a spectalularly enlightened woman who wanted this type of relationship, I would have been comfortable to have a go.
As for those here who claim that marriage is supposed to be between two people; please realise that that is a particularly singular, blinkered and Christian view. Marriage is an agreement between two people yes, but how it operates in practise is up to them, not you. And you should be aware that many Islamic marriages do not conform to your narrow perception of what marriage is. Irrespective of your other feelings surrounding Islam, you cannot invalidate all Muslim marriages just because you don't agree with it. Not that I am a fan of the Islamic system of marriage but me not subscribing to it doesn't eliminate it's relevance to hundreds of thousands of people.
If I had found a spectalularly enlightened woman who wanted this type of relationship, I would have been comfortable to have a go.
drbombay: Yes, but it is few & far between realistically speaking & I will not get married again but that is irrelevant for marriage is supposedly committed to one person & one person only no matter what gender as far as I'm concerned. MONO Y MONO-end of story-I will not entertain matter of opinion.
hiya drb
i'm like you. i don't want to get married again. and i do know what i am looking for....and i do think it's sacred. i think open marriage is like a 'sorta marriage'. and i don't want that for myself, anymore than i would want to be a 'sorta mom', or a 'sorta sister'. maybe they should call it something else..
jono7: hiya drb i'm like you. i don't want to get married again. and i do know what i am looking for....and i do think it's sacred.
i think open marriage is like a 'sorta marriage'. and i don't want that for myself, anymore than i would want to be a 'sorta mom', or a 'sorta sister'. maybe they should call it something else..
Sorta Cute ! i think open marriage is like a 'sorta marriage'. and i don't want that for myself, anymore than i would want to be a 'sorta mom', or a 'sorta sister'. maybe they should call it something else..
Jeeepers: Sorta Cute !
aren't you though...
kidatheart: Why do you say that?
Is it because of societal pressure to conform, or something else?
No not at all Harry for I am a rebel with or without a cause-I just view open marriage as coffe house BS(smokescreen) & I believe it is a sacred committment to be with one person & when you delve outside of that conformity-your only asking for trouble as it is difficult enough to deal with someone day in & day out.Is it because of societal pressure to conform, or something else?
I honestly feel that most couples after awhile would have insecurity problems which will be their downfall.
Now, answering the question.
No way. If I ever get into a relationship with a nice lady, it's only us, no others. I will love her like crazy man !
No way. If I ever get into a relationship with a nice lady, it's only us, no others. I will love her like crazy man !
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Nah! Sorry!! I can´t remember what I was planning to argue about!!
and back at you
See how easy it is to diffuse a possible arguement with a little listening, and some understanding.