Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)? (239)

Feb 22, 2012 9:16 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
2intrigued
2intrigued2intriguedMississauga, Ontario Canada15 Threads 24,548 Posts
jono7: i'm not saying it couldn't work for someone else. but i've met a few folks in 'open marriages', and every single time...one person in the relationship was only doing it in an attempt to hang on to the other...the folks that used to lived next door to me, for years, had an open marriage. i both know, and like them both very much. but as soon as he started introducing younger, more beautiful women into their lives...(and she was starting to get older),and what she had been 'happy' with for the first 20 yrs of their marriage, no longer brought her happiness, but she continued anyways...and yes, they are still together.


YIKES wow uh oh laugh wave
Feb 22, 2012 9:18 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
drbombay
drbombaydrbombayStaten Island, New York USA55 Threads 7,656 Posts
jono7: i'm not saying it couldn't work for someone else. but i've met a few folks in 'open marriages', and every single time...one person in the relationship was only doing it in an attempt to hang on to the other...the folks that used to lived next door to me, for years, had an open marriage. i both know, and like them both very much. but as soon as he started introducing younger, more beautiful women into their lives...(and she was starting to get older),and what she had been 'happy' with for the first 20 yrs of their marriage, no longer brought her happiness, but she continued anyways...and yes, they are still together.
Yes, but it is few & far between realistically speaking & I will not get married again but that is irrelevant for marriage is supposedly committed to one person & one person only no matter what gender as far as I'm concerned. MONO Y MONO-end of story-I will not entertain matter of opinion.
Feb 22, 2012 9:22 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
drbombay
drbombaydrbombayStaten Island, New York USA55 Threads 7,656 Posts
drbombay: Yes, but it is few & far between realistically speaking & I will not get married again but that is irrelevant for marriage is supposedly committed to one person & one person only no matter what gender as far as I'm concerned. MONO Y MONO-end of story-I will not entertain matter of opinion.
Not supposedly-it is a committment to one person & just to clarify for me Adam & Eve...roll eyes rolling on the floor laughing wine
Feb 22, 2012 9:30 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
kidatheart
kidatheartkidatheartFruitvale, Alberta Canada32 Threads 24,548 Posts
drbombay: I understand that point Harry but I still will stand on ceremony that it is not healthy psychologically in the long run..



Why do you say that? dunno

Is it because of societal pressure to conform, or something else?
Feb 22, 2012 9:31 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
Rubicon76
Rubicon76Rubicon76Doha, Qatar514 Posts
It is technically possible, yes. If the people involved are particularly enlightened it can work. I know of one married couple who practise a version of open marriage quite successfully and have done so for a long time now. Of course most people never fully mature psychologically and still frequently resort to their petty, childish jealousies in which case it will have no chance.

As for those here who claim that marriage is supposed to be between two people; please realise that that is a particularly singular, blinkered and Christian view. Marriage is an agreement between two people yes, but how it operates in practise is up to them, not you. And you should be aware that many Islamic marriages do not conform to your narrow perception of what marriage is. Irrespective of your other feelings surrounding Islam, you cannot invalidate all Muslim marriages just because you don't agree with it. Not that I am a fan of the Islamic system of marriage but me not subscribing to it doesn't eliminate it's relevance to hundreds of thousands of people.

If I had found a spectalularly enlightened woman who wanted this type of relationship, I would have been comfortable to have a go.
Feb 22, 2012 9:32 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
jono7
jono7jono7Out West, British Columbia Canada3 Threads 8,629 Posts
drbombay: Yes, but it is few & far between realistically speaking & I will not get married again but that is irrelevant for marriage is supposedly committed to one person & one person only no matter what gender as far as I'm concerned. MONO Y MONO-end of story-I will not entertain matter of opinion.


hiya drb wavei'm like you. i don't want to get married again. and i do know what i am looking for....and i do think it's sacred.

i think open marriage is like a 'sorta marriage'. and i don't want that for myself, anymore than i would want to be a 'sorta mom', or a 'sorta sister'. maybe they should call it something else.. laugh
Feb 22, 2012 9:37 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
Jeeepers
JeeepersJeeepersCowpet Bay, Saint Thomas Virgin Islands (USA)27 Threads 8,616 Posts
jono7: hiya drb i'm like you. i don't want to get married again. and i do know what i am looking for....and i do think it's sacred.

i think open marriage is like a 'sorta marriage'. and i don't want that for myself, anymore than i would want to be a 'sorta mom', or a 'sorta sister'. maybe they should call it something else..
Sorta Cute ! wink
Feb 22, 2012 9:38 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
jono7
jono7jono7Out West, British Columbia Canada3 Threads 8,629 Posts
Rubicon76: It is technically possible, yes. If the people involved are particularly enlightened it can work. I know of one married couple who practise a version of open marriage quite successfully and have done so for a long time now. Of course most people never fully mature psychologically and still frequently resort to their petty, childish jealousies in which case it will have no chance.

As for those here who claim that marriage is supposed to be between two people; please realise that that is a particularly singular, blinkered and Christian view. Marriage is an agreement between two people yes, but how it operates in practise is up to them, not you. And you should be aware that many Islamic marriages do not conform to your narrow perception of what marriage is. Irrespective of your other feelings surrounding Islam, you cannot invalidate all Muslim marriages just because you don't agree with it. Not that I am a fan of the Islamic system of marriage but me not subscribing to it doesn't eliminate it's relevance to hundreds of thousands of people.

If I had found a spectalularly enlightened woman who wanted this type of relationship, I would have been comfortable to have a go.


i think you make a good point.
for clarification...i have been referring to western open marriages, not polygamous marriages within other cultures.
i am thinking of marriages inwhich one or both partners have sex 'outside' of their marriage.
are 'open' polygamous marriages something that is common...where either one of the wives, or the husband has sex with someone outside of their marriage?
i'm curious..and hoping you can comment on this. (thank you)
Feb 22, 2012 9:40 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
jono7
jono7jono7Out West, British Columbia Canada3 Threads 8,629 Posts
Jeeepers: Sorta Cute !


aren't you though...tongue laugh hug
Feb 22, 2012 9:43 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
drbombay
drbombaydrbombayStaten Island, New York USA55 Threads 7,656 Posts
kidatheart: Why do you say that?

Is it because of societal pressure to conform, or something else?
No not at all Harry for I am a rebel with or without a cause-I just view open marriage as coffe house BS(smokescreen) & I believe it is a sacred committment to be with one person & when you delve outside of that conformity-your only asking for trouble as it is difficult enough to deal with someone day in & day out.
I honestly feel that most couples after awhile would have insecurity problems which will be their downfall.
Feb 22, 2012 9:45 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
Jeeepers
JeeepersJeeepersCowpet Bay, Saint Thomas Virgin Islands (USA)27 Threads 8,616 Posts
tongue
Feb 22, 2012 9:53 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
Jeeepers
JeeepersJeeepersCowpet Bay, Saint Thomas Virgin Islands (USA)27 Threads 8,616 Posts
Now, answering the question.
No way. If I ever get into a relationship with a nice lady, it's only us, no others. I will love her like crazy man ! peace
Feb 22, 2012 9:55 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
myfisrt
myfisrtmyfisrtWest Jakarta, Indonesia6 Threads 1,198 Posts
Jeeepers: Now, answering the question.
No way. If I ever get into a relationship with a nice lady, it's only us, no others. I will love her like crazy man !


Hmmm... sounds so romantic..! teddybear
Feb 22, 2012 9:56 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
jono7
jono7jono7Out West, British Columbia Canada3 Threads 8,629 Posts
2intrigued: YIKES


hiya 2I wave
yup...both lovely folks. but she always looks unhappy now, and we (friends in the bldg) used to try and guess among ourselves why they were still together...dunno it's sad.
Feb 22, 2012 9:59 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
Jeeepers
JeeepersJeeepersCowpet Bay, Saint Thomas Virgin Islands (USA)27 Threads 8,616 Posts
myfisrt: Hmmm... sounds so romantic..!
flower
Feb 22, 2012 10:01 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
2intrigued
2intrigued2intriguedMississauga, Ontario Canada15 Threads 24,548 Posts
jono7: hiya 2I
yup...both lovely folks. but she always looks unhappy now, and we (friends in the bldg) used to try and guess among ourselves why they were still together... it's sad.


Yep, sometimes these things can come around and bite people in the arse...that's the psychological thing that Dr B might be referring to dunno
Feb 22, 2012 10:11 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
Jeeepers
JeeepersJeeepersCowpet Bay, Saint Thomas Virgin Islands (USA)27 Threads 8,616 Posts
2intrigued: Yep, sometimes these things can come around and bite people in the arse...that's the psychological thing that Dr B might be referring to
devil Can I bite your arse ?
Feb 22, 2012 10:12 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
Jeeepers
JeeepersJeeepersCowpet Bay, Saint Thomas Virgin Islands (USA)27 Threads 8,616 Posts
laugh wave Good night folks !
Feb 22, 2012 10:13 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
2intrigued
2intrigued2intriguedMississauga, Ontario Canada15 Threads 24,548 Posts
Jeeepers: Can I bite your arse ?


Anytime...as long as ya don't create another poop hole uh oh rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing hug
Feb 22, 2012 10:13 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
2intrigued
2intrigued2intriguedMississauga, Ontario Canada15 Threads 24,548 Posts
Jeeepers: Good night folks !


G'nite Jeeps hug sleep
Feb 22, 2012 10:15 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
Jeeepers
JeeepersJeeepersCowpet Bay, Saint Thomas Virgin Islands (USA)27 Threads 8,616 Posts
2intrigued: Anytime...as long as ya don't create another poop hole
doh Oh Gawd !! I'm going to have a bad dream now.

laugh Just kidding. My dreams are always nice ones.
Feb 22, 2012 10:15 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
jono7: i'm not saying it couldn't work for someone else. but i've met a few folks in 'open marriages', and every single time...one person in the relationship was only doing it in an attempt to hang on to the other...the folks that used to lived next door to me, for years, had an open marriage. i both know, and like them both very much. but as soon as he started introducing younger, more beautiful women into their lives...(and she was starting to get older),and what she had been 'happy' with for the first 20 yrs of their marriage, no longer brought her happiness, but she continued anyways...and yes, they are still together.


she needs to do a turnabout and bring home some young hunks - see how he likes them apples the living douche that he is
Feb 22, 2012 10:26 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
kidatheart
kidatheartkidatheartFruitvale, Alberta Canada32 Threads 24,548 Posts
drbombay: No not at all Harry for I am a rebel with or without a cause-I just view open marriage as coffe house BS(smokescreen) & I believe it is a sacred committment to be with one person & when you delve outside of that conformity-your only asking for trouble as it is difficult enough to deal with someone day in & day out.
I honestly feel that most couples after awhile would have insecurity problems which will be their downfall.



For me the whole idea of discussing topics like this is to find out what those insecurities are, among other things, and hopefully deal with them before entering any sort of a relationship with anyone.

Being able to openly and honestly discuss anything under the sun is VERY important to me, even if it's just chatting and nothing more evenr comes of it. So many people are unable to do that, for whatever reason, which I don't understand. dunno

Life is not black and white, and having a basis of understanding in order to relate to others, and be more accepting of them, and ourselves, to me, is a neccessity.

Our downfalls are usually of our own making, and knowing one's self and being honest in that regard, one might be able to prevent or avoid the pitfalls that so many seem to have. cool
Feb 22, 2012 10:31 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
jono7
jono7jono7Out West, British Columbia Canada3 Threads 8,629 Posts
felixis99: she needs to do a turnabout and bring home some young hunks - see how he likes them apples the living douche that he is


hiya wave felix

she's no longer able to.
this is a marriage that has lasted 27..28 yrs so far. but for the last 15 or so years, it was open. and it was her idea, and it took her a while to get him to agree. i really do like both of them. and he has gotten more handsome as he ages, and she has not aged quite so well, she's put on about 60-70 pounds in the last five years as well..
i'm not saying it's a happy marriage now, that's for sure. but i'm not in their relationship...so i really don't know why they stay together. and if she did bring someone home, he would be happy about it. afterall, that's what they both had already been doing for years.
Feb 22, 2012 10:38 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
kidatheart
kidatheartkidatheartFruitvale, Alberta Canada32 Threads 24,548 Posts
felixis99: she needs to do a turnabout and bring home some young hunks - see how he likes them apples the living douche that he is



Ahhh yes, revenge, an admirable human attribute to have.laugh


My line of thinking would be if she doesn't like the way things are with her partner, than discuss it with him. If there's no resolution, then end the relationship and go on to enjoy life in whatever way you like.

Being spiteful and angry never does anyone any good.
Feb 22, 2012 10:49 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
jono7
jono7jono7Out West, British Columbia Canada3 Threads 8,629 Posts
kidatheart:
My line of thinking would be if she doesn't like the way things are with her partner, than discuss it with him. If there's no resolution, then end the relationship and go on to enjoy life in whatever way you like.


i agree with this. but i find many folks go into a relationship with that belief....but it just doesn't pan out that way.

in my 'dream' machine...i would be able to say..
yes, i am willing to be a part of an 'us', but i will not be owned, nor do i want to own you. and if this doesn't last..all i ask is that you tell me if you are unhappy or interested in someone else...so i can make an informed choice for myself.
it sounds soooo easy to me.
have yet to experience it.
Feb 22, 2012 11:10 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
kidatheart
kidatheartkidatheartFruitvale, Alberta Canada32 Threads 24,548 Posts
jono7: i agree with this. but i find many folks go into a relationship with that belief....but it just doesn't pan out that way.

in my 'dream' machine...i would be able to say..
yes, i am willing to be a part of an 'us', but i will not be owned, nor do i want to own you. and if this doesn't last..all i ask is that you tell me if you are unhappy or interested in someone else...so i can make an informed choice for myself.
it sounds soooo easy to me.
have yet to experience it.


I dunno, seems fairly simple and straight forward to me, and that's pretty much the way I've always lived my life. If people aren't happy together, find a way to be happy, even if it's apart.

All it takes is clear honest communication, what's so hard about that? dunno
Feb 26, 2012 2:20 PM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
I don´t believe in any kind of open relationship at all.
Feb 27, 2012 6:52 AM CST Do you believe in having an open marriage (sleeping with other partners)?
fridayza
fridayzafridayzasao paulo, Sao Paulo Brazil1 Posts
real is very nice to have a good partner
 
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