Is brutal honesty one of the most important things in a relationship? (35)
I believe so ,but no men is ..maybe 95% . I'm included ! Also I think it goes both ways too.
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hawaiihibou: Relationships are what we are here for. Is it good to be brutally honest even if it hurts?
sometimes being brutally honest is a thin veiled excuse for bad manners imho
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hawaiihibou: Relationships are what we are here for. Is it good to be brutally honest even if it hurts?
Brutal honesty can be very distructive...
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It doesn´t need to be brutal. Just honest.------ This poll is Archived ------
You can be honest without being brutal, its called having a little tact.
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hawaiihibou: Relationships are what we are here for. Is it good to be brutally honest even if it hurts?
Only once can I say that I have been brutally honest - it was extremely cathartic for me, something no therapy could buy. It was also high time that person heard what I had to say. He took it all.
Other than that, honest yes, brutal no. No need.
Also, no need to sweat the small stuff. Honesty for the point of nit picking is destructive.
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rider4u: sometimes being brutally honest is a thin veiled excuse for bad manners imho
I agree 
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I like the sound of sincere honesty,,,or even complete honesty. Why use a violence and pretend it is for the good. That does not make clear sense. It is like saying. " I had to tell them how horrible they looked, I didn't care that they just lost there parent in a accident!! I was just being Honest! I didn't think they would end up in the hospital or do anything rash.
Maybe a bit overplayed but I think some people make a point of using this "crap" logic for things like ending relations, getting someones attention away form a bigger matter. Like I said, " Violent words depict violent actions, and typically come from violent thoughts".
but of course this is just my look at it. Sometimes I can kid around but I have felt this "Brutal Honesty" and it is usually not there to help anyone.
Maybe a bit overplayed but I think some people make a point of using this "crap" logic for things like ending relations, getting someones attention away form a bigger matter. Like I said, " Violent words depict violent actions, and typically come from violent thoughts".
but of course this is just my look at it. Sometimes I can kid around but I have felt this "Brutal Honesty" and it is usually not there to help anyone.
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Nikogas: I like the sound of sincere honesty,,,or even complete honesty. Why use a violence and pretend it is for the good. That does not make clear sense..
I think BRUTAL is an ugly word. SINCERE is a much better one.
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hawaiihibou: Relationships are what we are here for. Is it good to be brutally honest even if it hurts?
Dear Hawaiihibou,
In my opinion, being honest(except "brutally"
) from the very start even if it hurts is the kindest act that a person can do to me rather than pretending of what / who he is not.... Truth hurts yet that's how we build a good relationship by being honest...
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Nikogas: I like the sound of sincere honesty,,,or even complete honesty. Why use a violence and pretend it is for the good. That does not make clear sense. It is like saying. " I had to tell them how horrible they looked, I didn't care that they just lost there parent in a accident!! I was just being Honest! I didn't think they would end up in the hospital or do anything rash.
Maybe a bit overplayed but I think some people make a point of using this "crap" logic for things like ending relations, getting someones attention away form a bigger matter. Like I said, " Violent words depict violent actions, and typically come from violent thoughts".
but of course this is just my look at it. Sometimes I can kid around but I have felt this "Brutal Honesty" and it is usually not there to help anyone.
Maybe a bit overplayed but I think some people make a point of using this "crap" logic for things like ending relations, getting someones attention away form a bigger matter. Like I said, " Violent words depict violent actions, and typically come from violent thoughts".
but of course this is just my look at it. Sometimes I can kid around but I have felt this "Brutal Honesty" and it is usually not there to help anyone.
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Nikogas: I like the sound of sincere honesty,,,or even complete honesty. Why use a violence and pretend it is for the good. That does not make clear sense. It is like saying. " I had to tell them how horrible they looked, I didn't care that they just lost there parent in a accident!! I was just being Honest! I didn't think they would end up in the hospital or do anything rash.
Maybe a bit overplayed but I think some people make a point of using this "crap" logic for things like ending relations, getting someones attention away form a bigger matter. Like I said, " Violent words depict violent actions, and typically come from violent thoughts".
but of course this is just my look at it. Sometimes I can kid around but I have felt this "Brutal Honesty" and it is usually not there to help anyone.
Maybe a bit overplayed but I think some people make a point of using this "crap" logic for things like ending relations, getting someones attention away form a bigger matter. Like I said, " Violent words depict violent actions, and typically come from violent thoughts".
but of course this is just my look at it. Sometimes I can kid around but I have felt this "Brutal Honesty" and it is usually not there to help anyone.
Brutal does not = violence.
When the word 'brutal' is uses with speech context, it generally means no holds barred, no thoughts withheld - that's all. But that doesn't mean that what is said has to be abusive. No need for that either.
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venere08: Brutal does not = violence.
When the word 'brutal' is uses with speech context, it generally means no holds barred, no thoughts withheld - that's all. But that doesn't mean that what is said has to be abusive. No need for that either.
When the word 'brutal' is uses with speech context, it generally means no holds barred, no thoughts withheld - that's all. But that doesn't mean that what is said has to be abusive. No need for that either.
Sometimes brutal honesty followed by a glasgow kiss is what some folks need
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hawaiihibou: Relationships are what we are here for. Is it good to be brutally honest even if it hurts?
I've dated a AAA umpire and let me tell you, he is brutally honest and that is what I love about him. From dating, loving and a long term friendship, he has honored me with his truth and I respect him for it, as I!
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NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: I've dated a AAA umpire and let me tell you, he is brutally honest and that is what I love about him. From dating, loving and a long term friendship, he has honored me with his truth and I respect him for it, as I!
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vinny1967: Sometimes brutal honesty followed by a glasgow kiss is what some folks need
OK, not sure I want to ask what is a Glasgow kiss, coming from the land of Haggis, but it sounds like a good plan.
Have you moved back to Ireland vinny?
Hope all is well with you.
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To be honest to the point of being brutal may become a necessity at times due to the refusal of the other to accept the truth about things when they are presented in a tactful way. I think though that these instances are few and far between as they tend to decimate relationships. Generally though, it is not a wise choice to make as you receive what you give.
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venere08: Brutal does not = violence.
When the word 'brutal' is uses with speech context, it generally means no holds barred, no thoughts withheld - that's all. But that doesn't mean that what is said has to be abusive. No need for that either.
When the word 'brutal' is uses with speech context, it generally means no holds barred, no thoughts withheld - that's all. But that doesn't mean that what is said has to be abusive. No need for that either.
well,,so if we just drop "violence" from my reply and simply go with what is found in many dictionaries it will use the term
"disagreeably direct and precise"; "he spoke with brutal honesty"
we can be direct without being "disagreeable"
""dis·a·gree·a·ble/?dis?'gre?b?l/
Adjective:
Unpleasant or unenjoyable.
Unfriendly and bad-tempered.""
my point being it does not have to be that way,,but that is just my feeling. I still am very firm about the way words do paint certain pictures and evoke many times negative responses.
So,,to each their own,,,but that is just more of what I was trying to convey.
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I think brutal honesty......is the lsat straw in a relationship....if he/she......does it without caring.......
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i'm all for honesty, but i don't think brutal honesty is the way to go.
i don't think 'brutal is necessary'.
if it's important enough to say, it's important enough to think about how to say it as well.
i think sometimes 'brutal' honesty is selfish, it's a power trip with self justified meanness...presented as something other. one can provide honesty and clarity without being a bully.
i don't think 'brutal is necessary'.
if it's important enough to say, it's important enough to think about how to say it as well.
i think sometimes 'brutal' honesty is selfish, it's a power trip with self justified meanness...presented as something other. one can provide honesty and clarity without being a bully.
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jono7: i'm all for honesty, but i don't think brutal honesty is the way to go.
i don't think 'brutal is necessary'.
if it's important enough to say, it's important enough to think about how to say it as well.
i think sometimes 'brutal' honesty is selfish, it's a power trip with self justified meanness...presented as something other. one can provide honesty and clarity without being a bully.
i don't think 'brutal is necessary'.
if it's important enough to say, it's important enough to think about how to say it as well.
i think sometimes 'brutal' honesty is selfish, it's a power trip with self justified meanness...presented as something other. one can provide honesty and clarity without being a bully.
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hey niko-B!!
i liked your comments too!
well said, and inspired me to add my nickel's worth...grin
i liked your comments too!
well said, and inspired me to add my nickel's worth...grin
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jono7: hey niko-B!!
i liked your comments too!
well said, and inspired me to add my nickel's worth...grin
i liked your comments too!
well said, and inspired me to add my nickel's worth...grin
Hi Jono, you always have good comments to share.
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hawaiihibou: Relationships are what we are here for. Is it good to be brutally honest even if it hurts?
Brutal Honesty - direct - straightforward in means or manner or behavior or language or actionIn my view, to be brutaly honest is not about saying something to cause pain. There are times when there is no easy or nice way to say it, when what you have to say needs to be precise and straight forward.
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venere08: Only once can I say that I have been brutally honest - it was extremely cathartic for me, something no therapy could buy. It was also high time that person heard what I had to say. He took it all.
Other than that, honest yes, brutal no. No need.
Also, no need to sweat the small stuff. Honesty for the point of nit picking is destructive.
Other than that, honest yes, brutal no. No need.
Also, no need to sweat the small stuff. Honesty for the point of nit picking is destructive.
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I've alway's been honest, and open in my relationships. In my last relationship it destroyed everything! One of her good freinds came on to me. Her freind asked me not to tell her. But I thought she had the right to know. I would want to know, if my guy freinds hit on her.
After telling her. Our relationship in the last year, became a nightmare. She had to know were I was going, who I would be with. She would call to check up on me. It drove me nuts. She even got mad, for me not questioning her were abouts. It drove me nuts!
It was never the same. And I did nothing wrong! Did I make a mistake by letting her know?
I think what if I said nothing, would it been so bad. Joe
After telling her. Our relationship in the last year, became a nightmare. She had to know were I was going, who I would be with. She would call to check up on me. It drove me nuts. She even got mad, for me not questioning her were abouts. It drove me nuts!
It was never the same. And I did nothing wrong! Did I make a mistake by letting her know?
I think what if I said nothing, would it been so bad. Joe
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aramaya: No,you dont need to be brutally honest,,why hurt someone when you dont need to??there are always nice ways of putting things..a bit of empathy and respect..
...but it is better to be brutally honest than just gone with the wind.peeps with this kind of attitude are cowards,they refuse to say goodbye..just poof then gone,evaporated it is more painful when you expect him to be honest but on the other side he is a liar.
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jono7: i'm all for honesty, but i don't think brutal honesty is the way to go.
i don't think 'brutal is necessary'.
if it's important enough to say, it's important enough to think about how to say it as well.
i think sometimes 'brutal' honesty is selfish, it's a power trip with self justified meanness...presented as something other. one can provide honesty and clarity without being a bully.
i don't think 'brutal is necessary'.
if it's important enough to say, it's important enough to think about how to say it as well.
i think sometimes 'brutal' honesty is selfish, it's a power trip with self justified meanness...presented as something other. one can provide honesty and clarity without being a bully.
I agree with your comment only time to be brutal honest is with oneself I think.
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jono7: i'm all for honesty, but i don't think brutal honesty is the way to go.
i don't think 'brutal is necessary'.
if it's important enough to say, it's important enough to think about how to say it as well.
i think sometimes 'brutal' honesty is selfish, it's a power trip with self justified meanness...presented as something other. one can provide honesty and clarity without being a bully.
i don't think 'brutal is necessary'.
if it's important enough to say, it's important enough to think about how to say it as well.
i think sometimes 'brutal' honesty is selfish, it's a power trip with self justified meanness...presented as something other. one can provide honesty and clarity without being a bully.
I missed that; You are quite right; there is never a good reason to turn into a bully just to make a point and satisfy one's selfish ego at the expense of another; another good example of the adage 'violence is always the last(as well as the first) refuge of the incompetent; be it psychological or physical. Excellent point Jono!
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99 Votes
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35 Comments
Created: May 2012
Last Viewed: Apr 17
Last Commented: Jun 2012
Last Voted: Jul 2017
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Is brutal honesty one of the most important things in a relationship?(Vote Below)