To be truly happy in a marriage do you have to be willing to overlook/forgive indiscretions occasion ( Archived) (39)

Hi L4Q.
I find when this subject of cheating comes up, it is nearly always the men who get the blame for it, but the way I see it is, men are not cheating on their own, they are cheating with woman, so in that case there are the same amount of men being unfaithful as there are women. Men have their faults and I would be the first to point them out. but in this case
I find both are equally to blame.

Kinda goes with the happiness poll - single women and married men are the happiest people. and actually most married people admit (85%) - both male and female have an extra-maritial affair sometime during their marriage. sad but true.

Forgiveness must be a necessary part of a marriage

I tend not to agree with this, many people who cheat do so in the heat of the moment and give no thought to the devastating effect it will have on their quite possibly happy relationship.

They simply can't keep it in their pants, and then have to pay the price.

Don't you think it is more a case of "men and women only cheat if there is something missing in themselves"

I agree - once a commitment has been agreed on - that is that

dissolve the commitment if u want another partner...

regarding mistakes tho - yes people make them - we can't expect our partner to be perfect in everything, but fidelity I think is a reasonalbe expectation, especially in a committed relationship

I guess, for me, as I have mentioned before - I think it's important first, to communicate and be certain that u and your partner are in agreement as to whether you are in a commitment and therefore second, do not ASSUME there is a commitment unless steps have been taken to "seal the deal"

I say this because I had a man accuse of cheating on him however we were not in a commitment and he had in fact, refused to commit so I started to see others .... his protestations were amusing,but no more than that. I basically told him that if he was not wanting to commit then .... I wanted to find someone who did....it was a bumpy spot that almost ruined our friendship (and ultimately did ruin it) so that's why I think it so important to be clear on this issue before jumping to conclusions

really

there are more effective and honest ways of dealing with "something missing"

I think we have to underscore that despite the excuses, that they may be understandable, but it is still a mistake and is wrong

and to look for other avenues to move on to a new partner such as divorce and dissolution so one is really free to choose a new partner

that's doggy for u he knows that men are dogs - it's even in his username

tried to put it in a way that no one could argue with - I get enough of arguing elsewhere