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Abuse personally encountered in life. ( Archived) (85)

Dec 20, 2007 5:59 AM CSTAbuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania, USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts

Abuse personally encountered in life.(Vote Below)

- (To Vote: select an option above, then press this button)
physical abuse
20
28%
sexual abuse
6
8%
Abuse in childhood.
1
1%
physical and sexual
7
10%
physical and child abuse
0
0%
sexual and child abuse.
2
3%
1, 2 and 3
13
18%
emotional / pscychological abuse only.
20
28%
elderly abuse.
2
3%
Total Votes
71
Abuse in any form is definitely a peril in society and the trauma persists lifelong sometimes to the extent of paralysing peoples lives.

Previously, people have opened their hearts and expressed their life experiences on a similar thread. Making use of the poll facility i am rekindling the issue.


LOOKING FORWARD TO A HEALTHY DISCUSSION !!


** You are welcome to post , copy paste previous posts, just be a part of the discussion or express concern ... just about anything .. but ..

PLEASE refrain from mudslinging , abusing , insulting ,humouring or diverting it to sex talk. Its my humble request ..

gift
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Dec 20, 2007 5:59 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
Abuse in any form is definitely a peril in society and the trauma persists lifelong sometimes to the extent of paralysing peoples lives.

Previously, people have opened their hearts and expressed their life experiences on a similar thread. Making use of the poll facility i am rekindling the issue.


LOOKING FORWARD TO A HEALTHY DISCUSSION !!


** You are welcome to post , copy paste previous posts, just be a part of the discussion or express concern ... just about anything .. but ..

PLEASE refrain from mudslinging , abusing , insulting ,humouring or diverting it to sex talk. Its my humble request ..

gift
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Dec 20, 2007 6:02 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
Abuse refers to the use or treatment of something (a person, item, substance, concept, or vocabulary) that is seen as harmful..

There are categorically more forms of abuse but i have tried to include what would be most relevant to all of us.
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Dec 20, 2007 6:09 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
markmeunier
markmeuniermarkmeunierTimmins, Ontario Canada23 Threads 4 Polls 1,348 Posts
Aside from the horror of my childhood, I have faced the repugnant shadow of abuse more than once in my life.

My last girlfriend and the mother of my youngest child's mother after hearing about the abuses I had experienced in my youth decided it would be cool to hang a sheet on my door while I was at work. She painted Child abuser and p*dophile in bright red letters... Thankfully I came home early in the morning and removed its unsightly presence before anyone saw it. Children's Aid was called by her as well numerous times to investigate child abuse allegations. This woman is pure hell in my life. Children's Aid cleared my name and standing but the hurt of her actions remains. After having experienced first hand the attrocities of child abuse and then to be accused of the same...leaves me cold.
20 years ago I went to a party with some friends at a woman's home that we did not know well. Everyone left in dwindling ways and we were left at her home alone. She was pleasant enough and not at all forward. We were watching a movie and then I woke up in her bed...tied to the headframe. She had drugged my drink with sleeping pills and I was barely coherent. Three days later I left her house wearing nothing but a pair of underwear and a single shoe. Just what I really didn't need in my life. She has reared her ugly head a few times in my life since but after I hammered her brother (a raging drug-addict) and her uncle she has pretty much stayed clear.

There are a few other instances but I do not need to remember any of them really.

Markangel
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Dec 20, 2007 6:09 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
RobbieM
RobbieMRobbieMHertford, Hertfordshire, England UK172 Threads 10 Polls 7,930 Posts
I've witnessed a couple on the list.

Without airing my dirty laundry in public too much, ive seen elderly people abused and taken advantage of, then i had to step in.

I've been on the end of mental cruelty as well.It's changed my perception of people entirely now, so now i only associate myself with like minded people.

Trauma and trouble i think are my middle names....though i didn't see them on my birth certificate.

cheers gift
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Dec 20, 2007 6:42 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
Thanks Mark .. i know its hard to forgive or forget.. so to put in in words is worse ..

I appreciate your input. hug
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Dec 20, 2007 6:47 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK220 Threads 5,912 Posts
Unfortunately I have to deal with aftermath of most of this abuse in my job. I have to stay calm when in side I’m raging with indignation and disbelief that any human could treat another like this. I also have to sometimes meet the abuser and act with professionalism when al I really want to do is scream at them,
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Dec 20, 2007 6:49 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
ermm .. you work as a counsellor ?
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Dec 20, 2007 6:51 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK220 Threads 5,912 Posts
I 'm a mental health support worker but i do some counselling through work.
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Dec 20, 2007 6:53 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
Which is the commonest that you have encountered and difficult to handle ?
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Dec 20, 2007 7:06 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK220 Threads 5,912 Posts
Unfortunately they are all about equal. I have come across only one client that hasn’t been abuse. And one client will only trust and speak to me which makes it extremely hard on my colleagues and me. I could never divulge any stories as it breaks client’s confidentiality. But in your wildness nightmare you could never imagine what these guys have been through. And the stories I have heard from them.
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Dec 20, 2007 7:08 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA635 Threads 17 Polls 7,934 Posts
Its strange how the "proper" raising of children from one generation to the next has been changed by the law of the land. Throughout time we have come to classify more things as abusive acts.. .

Overheard some 80 Y/O folks talking about these kids taking firearms into their school for killing sprees, most agreed that if these teachers had the right to correct a childs behavior an not just their school assignments many of the kids would have never considered the notion of bringing a gun to school.

When the personalities and DNA and all other factors involved are so vast and complex. the "right path" to raise a child to be the best possible human being they can be will not ever be accomplished by assembly line methods, each creature of life brought forth is unique and only having "one way" to raise ,rear/teach a child is going to be the downfall of the human race.

I think "they" have taken the abuse and what constitutes it too far.
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Dec 20, 2007 7:13 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
firstllight
firstllightfirstllightStrasburg, Virginia USA6 Threads 1 Polls 1,020 Posts
I understand where you are coming from fireliter and I do believe that there are cases where corporal punishment in school would be warranted. However I do no want anyone hitting my child. If he needs his a** beat I reserve the right to do it myself.
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Dec 20, 2007 7:15 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
Mair.. I had a client with a form of dwarfism.. her husband was normal height..

She was always covered in bruises and would flinch every time he raised his arm near her. I reported it and would try to talk to her about it each time I was there.. but she was too terrified to do anything about it. She was also covered in cuts and bruises around her groin.

A few days later I arrived and her nose was broken and her eyes swollen shut. (and most of her long fingernails broken) I tried to speak to him about it and he attacked me too... He messed with the wrong lady THAT time. : devil:

That time I called the police, the lady now lives on her own in a warden maintained block.
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Dec 20, 2007 7:17 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK220 Threads 5,912 Posts
you have email
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Dec 20, 2007 7:20 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
You know when i did this thread.. deeming it all serious .. i was quite dreading what am going to read myself !!

And this one Claire .. is terrifying !!! We sure have blessed lives for which we should thankgod and ourselves every day !!

Hows she doing now ?
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Dec 20, 2007 7:21 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
Speaking of abuse.. I was looking after a man yesterday who cannot read or write.

He told me that when he was in school (wayyy back.. as he is a old fella)..

He said his teacher used to beat the s**t out of him.. and that one time he repeatedly beat him across the back so badly (with a BIG stick) that he couldn't go to school for six months.

He said his mother took him to the local policeman about it... and that the policeman laughed and said he had probably done something to deserve it. (back in the day eh? Grrrrrrrrr)

He told me it was to do with the teachers bike going missing.. and that it had been another boy that had done it.. but the teacher was having none of it... and kicked seven bells of s**t out of him just the same. As I said.. enough to make him pee blood.. and keep him out of school for SIX MONTHS

Imagine if that happened nowadays? I was telling him that. It would have been all over the news and that teacher would have been doing time. very mad very mad
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Dec 20, 2007 7:22 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
She has a GREAT Life now Riya! applause


hug
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Dec 20, 2007 7:23 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
OO mair.. I don't... Oh unless you mean my REAL email..
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Dec 20, 2007 7:24 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
Oh I see it.
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Dec 20, 2007 7:24 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
Good Heavens !!! blues

Thanks for sharing hug

Doesnt it get to you after a while ?
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Dec 20, 2007 7:25 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
hug

Makes you wonder rite ..blues
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Dec 20, 2007 7:27 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
I think you can talk about them Mair... just obviously no names or areas or whatever.

like Client Mrs A and B etc.. like we have to otherwise..

(or service user) roll eyes roll eyes
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Dec 20, 2007 7:27 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK220 Threads 5,912 Posts
I couldnt write on these public forums the stories and yes they are fact that i know about. Its so hard some time because i do night i tend to have the clients tell me their storied which i have to write up and enter in to their care files. And most of the abuse wasn't cause by fathers/step fathers it was done by their mothers
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Dec 20, 2007 7:28 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
well..

Yes you can talk about cases as stories .. barring personal identification and details.
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Dec 20, 2007 7:30 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
do you find it makes you angry Mair?

I do.. some of the things I can't do anything about.. like stuff that has happened in their past rather than happening NOW.. (that you CAN change)

Stuff like that makes me sooo mad..

angry FOR them..

wishing I COULD go and say/do something to the person/people that did this too them. Bring it to justice.. that kind of thing.
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Dec 20, 2007 7:32 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Scottishlass
ScottishlassScottishlassKnoxville, Tennessee USA672 Threads 29 Polls 4,352 Posts
i am a survivor of abuse from childhood on. never s*xual abuse though.
i had a mother who was a drunk & a father who was mean (probably because of my mother) i was always getting punished for anything & everything. sometimes they would hit me & say "that was for nothing wait & see what you get for something". when i turned 11 years old i started running away from home. cops would find me & bring me back, parents would beat me & i would run away again. thus the cycle began. they didn't have the same laws back then as they do now. this was in the late '50's & early 60's. then one day out of the blue my parents took me in front of a juvinile judge, had me deemed incorrigble & put me in juvinile detention, as an officer was taking me away my mother said "lock her up & throw away the key". i have NEVER forgotten those words. i never trusted them again. i have learned to forgive my parents, i needed to to break the hold they had on me. after that it was a series of abusive men. until i let GOD into my life. HE taught me what real love is all about & that i am somebody special. just like all you special people here on cs.

THANK YOU Riyablossom for starting this thread & allowing me to get this off my chest.

GOD be with you always.
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Dec 20, 2007 7:32 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA635 Threads 17 Polls 7,934 Posts
being a father,I have more than once come home to my child and wife condemning a teacher because my daughter or son for that matter challenged authority. Ex and I had differing views on this issue.

But what I find funny ids when I was on a work schedule where i was at home while the kids where in school they did not get "sent home". the school system had a policy take the crack on the bottom or child goes home until a conference is held.

I remember when neighbors use to look out for neighborhood children, now they close the blinds and door and turnup the TV.
yeah don't talk to my child do not correct my child yeah well I've seen more and more disrespect being displayed by the youth of today, except when their parents are in the room or hearing distant...ever wonder why that is...
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Dec 20, 2007 7:34 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
women arent always the angels they pretend to be ..

I agree Claire it makes one go mad to be unable to help when someone refuses the help or its just not possible for what ever reason.

DO you and Mair find it affecting your own life by any chance ? I dread to think whether i would be stronger with the insight or weaker by the pain.
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Dec 20, 2007 7:34 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK220 Threads 5,912 Posts
Ok here's one story

One of my Client's has parnoid delusions he thinks he a ganster he is so lovable fun guy, he is 32 to very hansome. But his mother use to make him wear his hair long and put him in a dress he was locked in an attic and men were sent up to him. He sometimes refuses to take his meds. My manager asked me if i had any idea why. So i said yea well i think i wouldnt take them if i had to live with the realality of what was done to me. When he dellusional he a bigh important man.

Another of my clients has learning difficulies and was sold by his mother for drugs. Then when he was older in his 20 s an older man in his 60s got hold of him and he passed around between him and his friends. Only being rewarded by them buying him a cd
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Dec 20, 2007 7:35 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
I was just thinking.. I remember a case of financial abuse a while ago..

this lady I was looking after wasn't able to look after her own finances.. so her son did it for her.

He would go shopping for her and then she would SIGN him a cheque to pay him back.

One of my colleagues realised one day that he was getting this lady to sign the cheques.. that should have been say £30.. and HE was writing them in as £300.

We got the police onto that too. Her best friend take care of her money now.. as well as a solicitor (lawyer)... everything gets run through them first.
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