Aside from the horror of my childhood, I have faced the repugnant shadow of abuse more than once in my life.
My last girlfriend and the mother of my youngest child's mother after hearing about the abuses I had experienced in my youth decided it would be cool to hang a sheet on my door while I was at work. She painted Child abuser and p*dophile in bright red letters... Thankfully I came home early in the morning and removed its unsightly presence before anyone saw it. Children's Aid was called by her as well numerous times to investigate child abuse allegations. This woman is pure hell in my life. Children's Aid cleared my name and standing but the hurt of her actions remains. After having experienced first hand the attrocities of child abuse and then to be accused of the same...leaves me cold. 20 years ago I went to a party with some friends at a woman's home that we did not know well. Everyone left in dwindling ways and we were left at her home alone. She was pleasant enough and not at all forward. We were watching a movie and then I woke up in her bed...tied to the headframe. She had drugged my drink with sleeping pills and I was barely coherent. Three days later I left her house wearing nothing but a pair of underwear and a single shoe. Just what I really didn't need in my life. She has reared her ugly head a few times in my life since but after I hammered her brother (a raging drug-addict) and her uncle she has pretty much stayed clear.
There are a few other instances but I do not need to remember any of them really.
Unfortunately I have to deal with aftermath of most of this abuse in my job. I have to stay calm when in side I’m raging with indignation and disbelief that any human could treat another like this. I also have to sometimes meet the abuser and act with professionalism when al I really want to do is scream at them,
Unfortunately they are all about equal. I have come across only one client that hasn’t been abuse. And one client will only trust and speak to me which makes it extremely hard on my colleagues and me. I could never divulge any stories as it breaks client’s confidentiality. But in your wildness nightmare you could never imagine what these guys have been through. And the stories I have heard from them.
Its strange how the "proper" raising of children from one generation to the next has been changed by the law of the land. Throughout time we have come to classify more things as abusive acts.. .
Overheard some 80 Y/O folks talking about these kids taking firearms into their school for killing sprees, most agreed that if these teachers had the right to correct a childs behavior an not just their school assignments many of the kids would have never considered the notion of bringing a gun to school.
When the personalities and DNA and all other factors involved are so vast and complex. the "right path" to raise a child to be the best possible human being they can be will not ever be accomplished by assembly line methods, each creature of life brought forth is unique and only having "one way" to raise ,rear/teach a child is going to be the downfall of the human race.
I think "they" have taken the abuse and what constitutes it too far.
I understand where you are coming from fireliter and I do believe that there are cases where corporal punishment in school would be warranted. However I do no want anyone hitting my child. If he needs his a** beat I reserve the right to do it myself.
Mair.. I had a client with a form of dwarfism.. her husband was normal height..
She was always covered in bruises and would flinch every time he raised his arm near her. I reported it and would try to talk to her about it each time I was there.. but she was too terrified to do anything about it. She was also covered in cuts and bruises around her groin.
A few days later I arrived and her nose was broken and her eyes swollen shut. (and most of her long fingernails broken) I tried to speak to him about it and he attacked me too... He messed with the wrong lady THAT time. : devil:
That time I called the police, the lady now lives on her own in a warden maintained block.
Speaking of abuse.. I was looking after a man yesterday who cannot read or write.
He told me that when he was in school (wayyy back.. as he is a old fella)..
He said his teacher used to beat the s**t out of him.. and that one time he repeatedly beat him across the back so badly (with a BIG stick) that he couldn't go to school for six months.
He said his mother took him to the local policeman about it... and that the policeman laughed and said he had probably done something to deserve it. (back in the day eh? Grrrrrrrrr)
He told me it was to do with the teachers bike going missing.. and that it had been another boy that had done it.. but the teacher was having none of it... and kicked seven bells of s**t out of him just the same. As I said.. enough to make him pee blood.. and keep him out of school for SIX MONTHS
Imagine if that happened nowadays? I was telling him that. It would have been all over the news and that teacher would have been doing time.
I couldnt write on these public forums the stories and yes they are fact that i know about. Its so hard some time because i do night i tend to have the clients tell me their storied which i have to write up and enter in to their care files. And most of the abuse wasn't cause by fathers/step fathers it was done by their mothers
i am a survivor of abuse from childhood on. never s*xual abuse though. i had a mother who was a drunk & a father who was mean (probably because of my mother) i was always getting punished for anything & everything. sometimes they would hit me & say "that was for nothing wait & see what you get for something". when i turned 11 years old i started running away from home. cops would find me & bring me back, parents would beat me & i would run away again. thus the cycle began. they didn't have the same laws back then as they do now. this was in the late '50's & early 60's. then one day out of the blue my parents took me in front of a juvinile judge, had me deemed incorrigble & put me in juvinile detention, as an officer was taking me away my mother said "lock her up & throw away the key". i have NEVER forgotten those words. i never trusted them again. i have learned to forgive my parents, i needed to to break the hold they had on me. after that it was a series of abusive men. until i let GOD into my life. HE taught me what real love is all about & that i am somebody special. just like all you special people here on cs.
THANK YOU Riyablossom for starting this thread & allowing me to get this off my chest.
being a father,I have more than once come home to my child and wife condemning a teacher because my daughter or son for that matter challenged authority. Ex and I had differing views on this issue.
But what I find funny ids when I was on a work schedule where i was at home while the kids where in school they did not get "sent home". the school system had a policy take the crack on the bottom or child goes home until a conference is held.
I remember when neighbors use to look out for neighborhood children, now they close the blinds and door and turnup the TV. yeah don't talk to my child do not correct my child yeah well I've seen more and more disrespect being displayed by the youth of today, except when their parents are in the room or hearing distant...ever wonder why that is...
One of my Client's has parnoid delusions he thinks he a ganster he is so lovable fun guy, he is 32 to very hansome. But his mother use to make him wear his hair long and put him in a dress he was locked in an attic and men were sent up to him. He sometimes refuses to take his meds. My manager asked me if i had any idea why. So i said yea well i think i wouldnt take them if i had to live with the realality of what was done to me. When he dellusional he a bigh important man.
Another of my clients has learning difficulies and was sold by his mother for drugs. Then when he was older in his 20 s an older man in his 60s got hold of him and he passed around between him and his friends. Only being rewarded by them buying him a cd
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