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Abuse personally encountered in life. (85)

Dec 20, 2007 9:47 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
Gawd.. I mean I was only saying 'for you?' so that I wasn't misunderstanding what you meant.

Bloody Norah! I'll shut up roll eyes laugh
Dec 20, 2007 9:55 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
hug hug

I appreciate your post. You dont need to say anything more.
Dec 20, 2007 9:56 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
thumbs up Yeah.. that's what I was trying to say.. in my usual *roundabout* way.. roll eyes laugh
Dec 20, 2007 10:01 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
you've been a darling here Claire .. couldnt appreciate it more ..

hug
Dec 20, 2007 10:02 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
blushing Thankyou Riya hug
Dec 20, 2007 10:06 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Detente
DetenteDetenteNorth West, England UK67 Threads 4 Polls 3,793 Posts
That cycle...so true!

My Pop ans mum kinda both went through crap...and I'm well aware of repeating 'stuff' through the generations.

I have to say though, I've come across several women and one or two chaps who've managed to break this cycle, and it's truly to their credit.

Better people than I and they have my eternal respect because of being able to do so!wine
Dec 20, 2007 10:18 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
hug

Its is a viscious cycle. I guess subconsciously people land up repeating what they went through... no theory to describe why though.

But it does take a lot of effort and insight to consciously avoid becoming the same. Definitely worth the appreciation.
Dec 20, 2007 10:19 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Fallingman
FallingmanFallingmanDublin, Ireland45 Threads 17 Polls 18,473 Posts
Riya

This is an important thread and I wish you nothing but the best for putting it up here. I am more than impressed by the compassion and humanity I read here and it reminds me of why I like all your company and like to spend time here.

When I see the awful things that have happened to people I want to weep. I appreciate my life more and it puts any knocks I have had into context. I had good parents and have had a pretty good life so far and all I can say reading some of this stuff is that I hope that all of you have a good and happy future whatever happened in the past.

Happy Christmas to all and reading this thread I think I see some of the so-called "true spirit of Christmas" here.

gift gift gift
Dec 20, 2007 10:25 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
wfriars
wfriarswfriarsOklahoma City, Oklahoma USA26 Threads 467 Posts
I can only say that when you grow up being abused, and that is how you "know" to love/be loved, you begin to think that that is the only way to show love or to accept "love." Without someone or something in life to show you that TRUE love doesn't hurt one might never know. And then the cycle continues.
Dec 20, 2007 10:26 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
blues crying

Thankyou Fallingman !!

I wish peace and cheer to all of them and more happy times ahead.

I am thankful too for the wonderful parents and life i have had. The friends i have in RL and CS , I treasure them dearly and thankful for having them around !!

hug
Dec 20, 2007 11:13 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK220 Threads 5,912 Posts
To anyone out there who has been through any kind of abuse it does help to talk it through. If no with a profession at least with someone you trust. We all need people we are not meant to be islands.

And to everyone who has suffered in any way i truely hope the New Year brings you hope and comfort hug
Dec 20, 2007 11:17 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
sexophone
sexophonesexophoneGothenburg, Vastra Gotaland Sweden5 Threads 399 Posts
i have had it all! ....every abuse and the uninvented ones too .... life can be wicked ...'cos the worst ones were from loved ones like .... will keep that to myself.....sigh dunno
Dec 20, 2007 11:19 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
hug Appreciate your posting here.

You neednt divulge more if you dont wish to ..
Dec 20, 2007 11:43 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Nice thread Riya...

i am also a survivor!!!

My abuse started when i turned 11 with emotional abuse from my step dad, then turned into forms of s*xual abuse when i turned 16, lasted til i was 18 yrs old. The hardest part of that, is my mom stayed married to the man, so he is still in my life somewhat...but i took the power from him, my life is now mine.

Then I married at 22 and suffered extreme physical and mental abuse for 12 years. The abuse i suffered from my ex was what you hear in movies...I found out a few years later he was abused by his father and rather then seeking help and ending the vicious cycle he carried it forward. Having been his victim for so many years, it wasnt enough to just hurt me he carried it to our son. It only took once to hurt my child and we were gone. The cycle of abuse ends with me, it will no longer be passed forward to damage and harm my children's future. Our future is a gift and I treasure the second chance everyday!

Hugs to everyone who suffered pain from anothers hand and for being brave enough to let it go and share your stories.

hug kiss hug

Life is as good as you make it...one cant see themselves as a victim, but as a suvivor!!!
Dec 20, 2007 11:51 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
wfriars
wfriarswfriarsOklahoma City, Oklahoma USA26 Threads 467 Posts
Yesterday full of sorrows,
But today is ours and so too tomorrow!

applause peace applause
Dec 20, 2007 12:03 PM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
omg !!!!

You are brave BEB ... way to go !!!

To have an insight is a choice that everyone should make . No one should inflict the scars they have on another.blues
Dec 20, 2007 12:33 PM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Thank you Riya...

Very true ppl shouldnt...but there are those out there, who dont care about others and are too consumed with themselves to think of anyone else. How their actions effect anothers and have no remorse.

But I am one who would not change what happened to me regardless...it gave me strength to fight this world head on and to appreciate what life is worth. With all things, there are lessons that can be learned if you choose to look for them.
Dec 20, 2007 12:53 PM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Poppa2Divas
Poppa2DivasPoppa2DivasIn The Mountains, USA4 Threads 291 Posts
I tell you this from my heart and do not care if Men do not agree... it is my hearts Opinion.

A Man who can not just walk away with out hitting a female is a coward...

I do not care if he has to walk out of thier life... he needs to walk away.

i do not believe there is any reason to hit a female (short of just defending ones own life)

i have in my life thought woman if you were a man i would knock you out...

I have seen several women who beat the pants of thier men regularly.

She just like any man should be left... and be gone from... let them live alone they deserve nothing but themselves...self center pieces of crap (either male or female) and worthless to have anyone in thier life...

Bad boys are one thing... we all like to have a little of that in our life.
But a physical abuser or someone who feels a snocker to the nose is the answer to settle everything...
Hmm that is a breed I wish not to be tallied in.

JMO Just Don't...

Think about it how can thier ever be love where so much pain resides.
Dec 20, 2007 1:19 PM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
Thats a deep thought Eric.

I personally feel its demeaning for a man to hit a woman to win over anything.

True .. there is no love in such a situation rather it gives room to contempt.

hug
Dec 20, 2007 1:39 PM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK66 Threads 14 Polls 8,969 Posts
I 100% agree with you Eric.. thumbs up

Also.. it reminded me of years ago when I worked with someone (a man).. whose wife used to beat the stuffings out of him.. with a pan.. wood from by the fire.. anything.. she was always clouting him with something, and he always had bruises.

I remember him saying that when he has tried to his friends about it.. they had just laughed.. *You get beaten up by your WIFE??* HA HA HA HA.


He said.. If I was woman saying this.. people would believe me.



Extra big hug for BEB by the way... hug hug
Dec 20, 2007 9:59 PM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
True Eupho.. some women are just a nasty piece of work !!! But nobody would believe. I nthis regard there is the false sympathy bias in fvor of womne for being women and the guys suffer.

I have a friend whose wife is a nightmare and i didnt truly believe it was 100% true till i met her myself.
Men need more support over absive wives esp. as no one would believe them initially.sigh
Dec 20, 2007 10:22 PM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
shyatfirst
shyatfirstshyatfirstcobourg, Ontario Canada24 Threads 1,710 Posts
Same here, because of the experience I'm a better mother/person. The father of my youngest one was/is an abuser.It took me a couple of years and times to leave him. And it took me a couple of years after that to become the strong person I am now.

I try to learn from the past and not to dwell on it too much. But unfortunately I wasn't the only victim, my children were a victim as well. And for them I still feel the pain.

I wanted to add that without support it is very hard to do all this. I have an amazing support network.
It is out of fear of money (or better said lack of), threats and no support that people are going back over and over again to the abuser.
angel
Dec 20, 2007 10:26 PM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
lenababi
lenababilenababiSanta Barbara, California USA283 Threads 19 Polls 2,571 Posts
Mainly physical but never by a partner or parent.
Dec 20, 2007 10:27 PM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
Thankyou ..

So True !!! I am hoping this would help if there is someone who is going thro' this and reading this as well.

hug
Dec 21, 2007 7:56 AM CST Abuse personally encountered in life.
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
As this has been a very emotional and disturbing thread to a lot of people .. yet enlightening and helpful to many, I thank all of you who took the time to post on here.

A special thanks and hug to the ones who shared their life'sexperiences.

I conclude this with a prayer and hope for brighter and happier times ahead in the coming year and then on for all !!

gift gift
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