are u going crazy being a one parent family ( Archived) (19)

I virtually raised my daughter from the age of 12 on my own - her dad was around Cork, but rarely available and certainly not interested in the drama that teenagers go through. It was hard, and I dealt with issues such as drinking, anorexia, her being bullied at school, rebellion, running away from home, you name it, she tried it. I even locked her in her bedroom one day and she bolted out the window - so I nailed it shut, and she got a pliers and loosened it, lol. I know the story.

And now? Through perseverance, love, tolerance, discipline, and unwavering support, my girl is now nearly 21, and one of the nicest people I know, with a heart of gold. She came "home" in the end, and I believe it was through my own consistency and her inherent goodness that she lost for a while whilst trying to find her way.

So my advice is, it's a lonely path, being a lone parent, and hard beyond belief, but stay strong, seek support from friends, and above all else, give them love.

Best of luck with it all.

Well for a start sal get the notion of your kids being looked down on out of your head because in a lone parent family,,.

Your being provider and nurturer for your boys. Doing your best with the most important thing a loving heart,,course there will be times when you will be challenged and feel like throwing in the towl and thinking I can't do this anymore and they hate me as teenagers often say,

Ha.

Be proud of yourself you have the best gift of all and they you,..,through laughter love and tears you'll get through the bumpy times,,percerverence,,and also make time for yourself you don't need to overcompensate with trying to give them materialistic things just because you think their missing out on a dad,,,as long as they have one good loving parent that speaks volumes...don't worry into the future anout them because they will find their own path with you there to give guidance .enjoy today don't worry about the tommorrow and try get to speak to other mothers bringing up kids on their own,,sometimes you need support or just someone to listen,and that goes for even when 2 parent families also,.love and enjoy the fun times with them it's good to just laugh at times we don't do enough of it these days..

Doubt it's just lonely parents who have the misfortune of kids going off the rail for a bit. For whatever reason teenagers rebel a bit , I know I did but never did drugs , tried the ciggies alright. I'm a single parent , have been since my son was 6 and a half. Only thing I found is life just passed me by , everything goes on hold. Tis hard to even have a proper relationship , being mind free to ..but as for being looked down on , Shur so is half the town too so. I'd more often think admired ...

Just meant to add that even tho teenager years are the most challenging for a parent,,and they make demands and kick up ..at the end of the day what's most important to them are their friends,, stability and routine at home and as a one parent try not to overcompensate giving in to their demands because its you that's thinking well they missing out because no dad,,that's in your head,,,,nothing is perfect in this world not even in two parent families..the teen years will pass all so quick and hopefully you will back and say I got through it .lol.. . .all very best for you and your lovely boys.

I often felt the lone patent even when married because he was always busey with his bleeper going off in fire brigade,:: .


When I split with ex hubby my boy was just 13. It wasn't. The easiest years but got through it,

Thank god I always had two kids that didnt rebel like cause any trouble at home,,,they know they were well loved by their mam and dad but its the patent that is home with them that they rely on most,,yes it does feel like life was on hold but looking back I wouldn't have it any other way, children grow up they want to make their own way do it their way,,we are thete to give encourage and listen,,I give my spoke in bit too much at times with them even now,

My son says I was overprotective when he was younger but hey better than not being protective ,and also think it was always me the rebel.

Respect for voicing it out loud Sal. I raised 3 alone, without family to help. They are now 24, 27 and 29. I worked a full time job too. I am now a grandmother and let me tell you, raising kids solo is the hardest number there is.
Single parents, I believe work the hardest, put in the most hours and are so used to carrying the load on their own that they are stronger than the average person. It is important to keep the kids involved in some activity but you dont need to be part of it. I learned that one after many rain days on the rugby sidelines watching my son play until the day he said 'You dont need to stay Mum, you brought me, you can go do some of your own fun stuff'. We learn in all kinda ways growing with them but we dont need to be EVERYTHING to them ALL the time. Most important thing is for your kids is to see you smile and have fun too.

I'm very proud of the job I have done and continue to do.

Hey. I raised 3 on my own. And sorry but I don't want or need any well done from anyone. I won't even go into what I've been through because its the past.

I have a choice in the morning to sit and worry or get up. And do. My children are 18/20 and they are the ones I care about.

Maybe I'm heartless but I am me.