LDR behaviours

social as usual, if LDR survives it survives
9
38%
out with friends, but no parties
5
21%
friends at home only
5
21%
family only
1
4%
no social
4
17%
Total Votes
24
Love my job, which takes me to interesting parts of the world for several months at a time. It ended my marriage but not because either of us cheated, just became strangers.

Now I've had to leave someone who really matters. What are the rules? I'm on company premises. Social is built in and expected, she lives alone and mainly socializes with an ex who became a friend before we met.

I know the ex is still keen and would cut me out if he could. She knows he worries me but her other friends are casual and it would be night out stuff, she could meet someone new. Ask her to stay home when I'm away being sociable with the same group of people, most of them single, every night? No.

Anyone else hammered out a working compromise in the LDR situation?

Comments (36)

unlaoised
I think it all comes down to trust.

It's unfair to expect either party not to socialise but if there's love and commitment, it shouldn't be an issue.

Reply
Chromedome56


I know the fair thing is to expect no promises but right now I'm a bleary-eyed hungover old codger feeling sorry for himself. There is love. There is trust. I just wish he'd fall under a bus. grin

Reply
Redex
Sorry for me ar my age anywaygrin LDR would be pointless.
Now at your agegrin roll eyes I would think all the cafuful tongue you know what I mean would be a sleep
Whatever floats your boat until you finish traveling the world have fun then think after retire do I need companion by my side. JMOlips

Reply
unlaoised


laugh You could always give him a gentle nudge the next time you're all out together.
Oh the agony of competition but if there is trust, then trust her judgement. You'll go nuts overthinking this

Reply
truheart1941
well, you love your job....you travel the world. meet people...while she is sitting there...just sitting there....waiting for your return........your choice....her...or your job.....kinda...hello dear/goodbye dear...see you ...when i see you.situation...dunno cheers

Reply
tomcatwarne


It seems you have chosen your priorities and she is not at the top of the list.

I think you should do some hard thinking and decide want, the writing is on the wall and you will sure as hell lose her altogether if you don't come up with some solutions.

Start thinking of your priorities and go from there.

Reply
tomcatwarne


Reply
Chromedome56


I retire from international travel in 9 months anyway, then it is HO desk job to retirement. We met a year too soon. Or not.

If it survives this, we survive anything. And we can survive this.

Bloody glad for skype, though. And phones. And emails. And texts. laugh

Reply
Chromedome56


She thinks I AM nuts, they were over before we met.

When you're right, you're right. But I don't trust men with hair. very mad

Reply
Chromedome56


Perfect jobs, few and far between. Perfect woman, how many have YOU met?

Reply
tomcatwarne


LOL well you've had a dream job, start planning now ,if you want your retirement with her put her no. ono from now on.

I t.hink you're in with a chance

Reply
tomcatwarne


And get off this dating sitegrin grin

Reply
Chromedome56


I was committed to the project months before we met. And NEXT job is a suitable country where I can take her with me, plus we'll be more established as a couple by then. Problem solved.

February, the company flies me home, or her out to me, for a week. In the meantime, we're practically spending more time together (on skype) and exchanging letters, than we were when living 30 miles apart. You learn a lot about each other when apart. Priorities? Make this work.

Reply
Redex


moping he is just filling time ingrin
Hope he makes it though all I can say
GOOD LUCK cheering applause

Reply
Chromedome56


She likes the blogs and forums.

(wave hello darlin')

And oh yes, off the dating site, the minute she closes her profile, mine will disappear. It's fun socially though. Plus I get to air an issue and debate it devil

Relationship by committee. rolling on the floor laughing

Reply
Chromedome56


Friends I can flirt with, who egg me on. Oh yes. dancing

Reply
Redex


Friend you said friend grin roll eyes some people think a lotrolling on the floor laughing How is the massage going and does your throat feel tight YETrolling on the floor laughing

Reply
tomcatwarne


Well having a better feel of the situation now I wish you good luckgrin

Reply
Chromedome56


DC is keeping a careful eye on you as she handles my massage rolling on the floor laughing

Reply
Chromedome56


Oh aye, pal, you're right, but this is a cunning plan. She'll take one look at the lovely ladies giggling with me and decide that's it, we're both out of here. devil

Cunning plans always go according to plan.

Reply
Redex
wave wave hi lovely chromes lady your safe he is behing screen rolling on the floor laughing roll eyes getting massage I have my hands around his throat rolling on the floor laughing giving him a hughug

Reply
OgGoDeo
I don't think this lady, or most women for that matter, would expect their partner to pack in what is obviously a good job....what is he expected to do?.... Sit at home every day and give up a good salary?..... I am sure she admires him for what he has done with his life and it is definitely preferable to being with somebody who does not have any job at all...that is a situation which can easily lead to friction in a relationship not being with somebody who has to travel abroad at times for his work...jmo..

Reply
Chromedome56


help help help help help help

Reply
Chromedome56


Oh aye we both thought it was a benefit, a chance to take stock and a breathing space while we shake down to being in a new relationship. And it is. If we blow it, then it wasn't meant to be.

Reply
Elegsabiff


Agreed. I've been in an LDR before and you get fatalistic about it. If, IF, one of you suddenly meets someone even better suited and right next door, so be it. The odds against are gigantic.

And at least you live in the same country most of the time, relocation isn't an issue for either one.

And the ex is safe because he is already done and dusted as a possible and was kept as a friend. Right? Right. professor

If she's for you, she won't go by you.

Reply
Elegsabiff


Aye, that'll be right. rolling on the floor laughing

Reply
ali110
he is a child so people can cheat him giggle grin

Reply
Johnny5IA
What does LDR mean?

Reply
KNenagh


LRD or not, you have to be able to trust someone. If you don't, it won't work.

I never was with someone I didn't trust and never will be. I made sure that himself always knew that he could trust me (was never an issue). My best friend is male (which hasn't been an issue with a partner so far).

Hope your hangover gets better and you get to chat with your lovely blonde other half. I wish you both happiness and many more enjoyable times together.

hug bouquet wave

Reply
truheart1941
long.droopy.rump.grin

Reply

Share this Poll

Feeling Creative?

back to top
"PLAY NOW: Squares"(meet us in the games)

Would YOU like to create a poll on Connecting Singles?

Click here to create a poll. Enter a question and up to 10 multiple choice answers and your poll will be up and running on the CS Polls page. Your poll will also appear in the ConnectingSingles Forums for comments by other members.