How to better educate your kids (85)
The world is getting more electronic and less human, ethical.
There are pics i see that don't convey any sort of emotion, just bodies...or bad shots
My ex feels sorry for not having had enough punishment from his parents, he said it would make a huge difference and that he envies his friends in that.
How should it be folks? How free should kids be?
There are pics i see that don't convey any sort of emotion, just bodies...or bad shots
My ex feels sorry for not having had enough punishment from his parents, he said it would make a huge difference and that he envies his friends in that.
How should it be folks? How free should kids be?
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cristina: The world is getting more electronic and less human, ethical.
There are pics i see that don't convey any sort of emotion, just bodies...or bad shots
My ex feels sorry for not having had enough punishment from his parents, he said it would make a huge difference and that he envies his friends in that.
How should it be folks? How free should kids be?
There are pics i see that don't convey any sort of emotion, just bodies...or bad shots
My ex feels sorry for not having had enough punishment from his parents, he said it would make a huge difference and that he envies his friends in that.
How should it be folks? How free should kids be?
Hi Cristina
Personally, I feel that children should be giving a little leyway in life, for that is how they learn where the boundaries are.
I teach my child in everything that we do or say, has an impact on the world around us. And for him, he has to discover where and when to cross the line in his search for knowledge..for if he doesn't learn how will he succeed
I don't dish out punishment, for it is such a negative term, we deal with consequences and a learning processing in how to improve the action another time. It teaches him that he can explore and try new things and not be set up fro failure.
For when you set a task for a child, and they do not follow through, the parent has to ask why, within themselves, as to how they could have gotten the message across more clearly. If you don't, you set your child up for failure and this in turn will hinder them in the learning process of life
jmo
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So logical turkish
The idea of punishment creates a "failure" in him, hence an obstacle to progress. Never thought of it this way, how interesting. So, in your way, you give him responsibility since the beginning, he has to rethink his actions by himself because if you lock him in his room he may well play games instead of doing an introspection or so?
Giving him the responsibility for him to think it through can be harder than locking him in his room, yes...
but...isn't that too much for him to reflect? I thought that sometimes, a NO doesn't need details because they wouldn't understand...no?
Thank you very much for your post
The idea of punishment creates a "failure" in him, hence an obstacle to progress. Never thought of it this way, how interesting. So, in your way, you give him responsibility since the beginning, he has to rethink his actions by himself because if you lock him in his room he may well play games instead of doing an introspection or so?
Giving him the responsibility for him to think it through can be harder than locking him in his room, yes...
but...isn't that too much for him to reflect? I thought that sometimes, a NO doesn't need details because they wouldn't understand...no?Thank you very much for your post
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Druidess is giving the other side of the coin.
No beating, no, but taking out priviledges should be fair. I remember that not being able to go to a party hurt badly
Kids normally think that they must behave well to look good for their parents, but then they get used to it right? The other way around is possible. If they are not reprehended, they may behave so bad at home, they take embarrass you out doors because you never set boundaries and then they get used to that
.No beating, no, but taking out priviledges should be fair. I remember that not being able to go to a party hurt badly
Kids normally think that they must behave well to look good for their parents, but then they get used to it right? The other way around is possible. If they are not reprehended, they may behave so bad at home, they take embarrass you out doors because you never set boundaries and then they get used to that
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cristina: So logical turkish
The idea of punishment creates a "failure" in him, hence an obstacle to progress. Never thought of it this way, how interesting. So, in your way, you give him responsibility since the beginning, he has to rethink his actions by himself because if you lock him in his room he may well play games instead of doing an introspection or so?
Giving him the responsibility for him to think it through can be harder than locking him in his room, yes... but...isn't that too much for him to reflect? I thought that sometimes, a NO doesn't need details because they wouldn't understand...no?
Thank you very much for your post
The idea of punishment creates a "failure" in him, hence an obstacle to progress. Never thought of it this way, how interesting. So, in your way, you give him responsibility since the beginning, he has to rethink his actions by himself because if you lock him in his room he may well play games instead of doing an introspection or so?
Giving him the responsibility for him to think it through can be harder than locking him in his room, yes... but...isn't that too much for him to reflect? I thought that sometimes, a NO doesn't need details because they wouldn't understand...no?
Thank you very much for your post
My son lives with Autism and a few other conditions thrown in. He made me rethink what parenting was, for the traditional methods don't fly with him
He makes me think on feet and try alternative methods. What work's for us may not work for another. I find that if you give a child the knowledge of alternative way of behaving, they find within themselves a sense of empowerment, with this, brings confidence. Confidence gives a child a certain amount of security in which they live their boundaries through choice,not by the demands of the parent
For some children are a reflection of their parents lives.
jmo
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TurkishDelight: My son lives with Autism and a few other conditions thrown in. He made me rethink what parenting was, for the traditional methods don't fly with him He makes me think on feet and try alternative methods. What work's for us may not work for another.
I find that if you give a child the knowledge of alternative way of behaving, they find within themselves a sense of empowerment, with this, brings confidence. Confidence gives a child a certain amount of security in which they live their boundaries through choice,not by the demands of the parent
For some children are a reflection of their parents lives.
jmo
I find that if you give a child the knowledge of alternative way of behaving, they find within themselves a sense of empowerment, with this, brings confidence. Confidence gives a child a certain amount of security in which they live their boundaries through choice,not by the demands of the parent
For some children are a reflection of their parents lives.
jmo
So if they choose to become criminals is destiny?
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cristina: So if they choose to become criminals is destiny?
Interesting
I deal with children who are considered to be "behavioural problem children" on a daily basis. These children are marginalized by the society they live within as a result of this behaviour.
Many who come through my door, have their parents wringing their hands saying "I cant do a thing with them". After a while, I find its the Parent who have the issues, not the child, the child's behaviour is reflecting what is going on at home.
If a parent is lacking in communication skills, they are passing this on to their children, resulting in very confused kids who have no concept of right or wrong.For they receive mixed messages all day, everyday at home. How can a child function if they are being told one thing,yet view another
How is a child to learn if they are not taught
For when that happens, a child will find a way which may be detrimental to them later in life, for they have had to find an alternative to "nothing"This happened one day
A woman came to talk to me about her son, he had anger issues and she, wringing her hands said "I cant do anything with him". As the time went on as she lamented her lot in life, complaining all the while about how he wont listen to her..so on and so forthIt came to my mind..I couldn't stand listening to her day in day out either
She went on with the "poor me" "my son has autism" line.."its so hard" All the while this wee dude was listening to all of this.
No wonder he had anger issues..I had after 30 minutes with her
My role was to give her alternatives which she clearly was not taking on board, she was too focused on herself and how life was so toughShe was creating a self fulfilling prophecy about her child
6 months later..her son attacked mine at school and broke his fingers
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Like grandpa said, "let that boy pull that Tv down on top of his head....he'll learn!"
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Wow...better get a divorce or therapy than creating a criminal. 
Interesting but so very sad story. Girl, you are teaching me good stuff, sparing me some reading
Interesting but so very sad story. Girl, you are teaching me good stuff, sparing me some reading
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RillyNiceGuy: Like grandpa said, "let that boy pull that Tv down on top of his head....he'll learn!"
Yep..he will learn an alternative action instead
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Begin young setting good sound examples! Make comments indirectly to be overheard of good sound ways. A child without bounds and correction will feel unloved and abandoned. The self esteem is destroyed! The child will not care about their life and even less about others. Love your children and structure your childs life.....teaching them how they should go and even with rebellion....in the age of maturity they will return to the soundness of life and that taught.
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cristina: Wow...better get a divorce or therapy than creating a criminal.
Interesting but so very sad story. Girl, you are teaching me good stuff, sparing me some reading
Interesting but so very sad story. Girl, you are teaching me good stuff, sparing me some reading
The difference with you and "others" is that you have the will to learn
Makes all the difference in the world
My parenting techniques do come into question by other professionals.. a lot I talk to each child,no matter the age and give them the respect I would give an adult.
It all depends, in my view, how an adult views a child
A teacher came to me asking for guidance in how to deal with a child and how he lacked communication. This child was the stinkiest wee boy, lice in his hair, into everything, pulling everything out of the cupboards etc, yet wouldn't say a word. She had difficulty in getting to know this wee man because she found it difficult to communicate with him.
We sat together and observed this wee man for a few days, not intervening in any way as he went about his bits and pieces. I got her to look at him again with a different perspective...to look at his world from his point of view
She later realised that she had made a judgement about this wee man and prevented him from coming to her because of her facial expression as he walked by due to the smell.
When she looked at him she realised another factor about him, he wasn't be destructive, he was simply exploring his new world. Later in the week, he approached her and asked her for "one of them" she was so
about his request. Turns out this lad did not have the word for "hug". He had kept himself distant from her, as she had given all the other children a hug going home and not he.She learned from him.
Its all about how we communicate with children
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One observation from a non-parent....I have noticed that kids who grow up with too little parental control, have no respect for authority....and subsequent problems later in life with figures of authority, like employers etc...
RillyNiceGuy: Begin young setting good sound examples! Make comments indirectly to be overheard of good sound ways. A child without bounds and correction will feel unloved and abandoned. The self esteem is destroyed! The child will not care about their life and even less about others. Love your children and structure your childs life.....teaching them how they should go and even with rebellion....in the age of maturity they will return to the soundness of life and that taught.
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TurkishDelight: The difference with you and "others" is that you have the will to learn
Makes all the difference in the world My parenting techniques do come into question by other professionals.. a lot
I talk to each child,no matter the age and give them the respect I would give an adult.
It all depends, in my view, how an adult views a child
A teacher came to me asking for guidance in how to deal with a child and how he lacked communication. This child was the stinkiest wee boy, lice in his hair, into everything, pulling everything out of the cupboards etc, yet wouldn't say a word. She had difficulty in getting to know this wee man because she found it difficult to communicate with him.
We sat together and observed this wee man for a few days, not intervening in any way as he went about his bits and pieces. I got her to look at him again with a different perspective...to look at his world from his point of view
She later realised that she had made a judgement about this wee man and prevented him from coming to her because of her facial expression as he walked by due to the smell.
When she looked at him she realised another factor about him, he wasn't be destructive, he was simply exploring his new world. Later in the week, he approached her and asked her for "one of them" she was so about his request. Turns out this lad did not have the word for "hug". He had kept himself distant from her, as she had given all the other children a hug going home and not he.
She learned from him.
I understand your theory (and practice) and agree as a professional that how we act and react is important. However, one huge problem with this is that in the real world, people will not observe him for days and structure their reactions to him according to his needs. This is not real life. Children must learn to cope with the real world and that means learning polite appropriate behaviors.
Its all about how we communicate with children
Makes all the difference in the world My parenting techniques do come into question by other professionals.. a lot
I talk to each child,no matter the age and give them the respect I would give an adult.
It all depends, in my view, how an adult views a child
A teacher came to me asking for guidance in how to deal with a child and how he lacked communication. This child was the stinkiest wee boy, lice in his hair, into everything, pulling everything out of the cupboards etc, yet wouldn't say a word. She had difficulty in getting to know this wee man because she found it difficult to communicate with him.
We sat together and observed this wee man for a few days, not intervening in any way as he went about his bits and pieces. I got her to look at him again with a different perspective...to look at his world from his point of view
She later realised that she had made a judgement about this wee man and prevented him from coming to her because of her facial expression as he walked by due to the smell.
When she looked at him she realised another factor about him, he wasn't be destructive, he was simply exploring his new world. Later in the week, he approached her and asked her for "one of them" she was so about his request. Turns out this lad did not have the word for "hug". He had kept himself distant from her, as she had given all the other children a hug going home and not he.
She learned from him.
I understand your theory (and practice) and agree as a professional that how we act and react is important. However, one huge problem with this is that in the real world, people will not observe him for days and structure their reactions to him according to his needs. This is not real life. Children must learn to cope with the real world and that means learning polite appropriate behaviors.
Its all about how we communicate with children
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A man came to action, Rilly nice guy, it turned this conversation a bit.
"A child without bounds and correction will feel unloved and abandoned" i agree
Good words
"A child without bounds and correction will feel unloved and abandoned" i agree
Good words
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Children also need to have pets. This teaches them mush, but mostly watch how they treat the pet. It is an insight to thier nature and then correction can be made to make them better people. There is also the unconditional love to be had from a pet. the child will be or not in touch with an animals pain, sickness, missing it when missing for a day or two....thereby teaching things a parent knows and feels about their child.
Example!: Son! Please call your mother and I when you get to camp to let us know you are ok and have everything you need for camp......we worry about you cause we love you. You remember how you worried about Rover when he had to go to the vet. Well we worry too! Thank you son!" He will call often because of knowing how it feels.
If a child is mean to animals.....he will be to people also. There is something wrong in his/her world....or missing......find it......make it right. Get your child a pet.......a dog or cat is best.
Be sure your child has friends of good nature. Ones of lower state in mind and finance. It will let them see a different side of life and have compassion. To be smarter will also build self esteem but don't let them look down on the others but teach them how to lift up there friends with love and compassion.
Example!: Son! Please call your mother and I when you get to camp to let us know you are ok and have everything you need for camp......we worry about you cause we love you. You remember how you worried about Rover when he had to go to the vet. Well we worry too! Thank you son!" He will call often because of knowing how it feels.
If a child is mean to animals.....he will be to people also. There is something wrong in his/her world....or missing......find it......make it right. Get your child a pet.......a dog or cat is best.
Be sure your child has friends of good nature. Ones of lower state in mind and finance. It will let them see a different side of life and have compassion. To be smarter will also build self esteem but don't let them look down on the others but teach them how to lift up there friends with love and compassion.
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cristina: A man came to action, Rilly nice guy, it turned this conversation a bit.
"A child without bounds and correction will feel unloved and abandoned" i agree
Good words
"A child without bounds and correction will feel unloved and abandoned" i agree
Good words
Thank you!
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Wow Turkish, i'm with tears in my eyes, you really are an experienced on the matter. Men aren't like kids are they?
Anyway, sad for a kid not knowing the meaning of a hug
. His parents should be animals or what?
I'm just remembering a documentary about a kid who was around 9, i don't remember the story quiet well, but all i can remember is that he had to go every now and then to an institution, to live there for about 3 months, waiting until someone likes him so to adopt him. He was so full of energy and optimistic that someone was going there to take me for good although he had been there back and forwards more than 3 times. The kid made me think that all that enthusiasm was his own, self marketing, he was trying to convey great energy to see if people like him. See how sad that is? What a responsibility
Anyway, sad for a kid not knowing the meaning of a hug
. His parents should be animals or what? I'm just remembering a documentary about a kid who was around 9, i don't remember the story quiet well, but all i can remember is that he had to go every now and then to an institution, to live there for about 3 months, waiting until someone likes him so to adopt him. He was so full of energy and optimistic that someone was going there to take me for good although he had been there back and forwards more than 3 times. The kid made me think that all that enthusiasm was his own, self marketing, he was trying to convey great energy to see if people like him. See how sad that is? What a responsibility
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So Lagoona, kids need to know that parents are the authority right?
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RillyNiceGuy: Children also need to have pets. This teaches them mush, but mostly watch how they treat the pet. It is an insight to thier nature and then correction can be made to make them better people. There is also the unconditional love to be had from a pet. the child will be or not in touch with an animals pain, sickness, missing it when missing for a day or two....thereby teaching things a parent knows and feels about their child.
Example!: Son! Please call your mother and I when you get to camp to let us know you are ok and have everything you need for camp......we worry about you cause we love you. You remember how you worried about Rover when he had to go to the vet. Well we worry too! Thank you son!" He will call often because of knowing how it feels.
If a child is mean to animals.....he will be to people also. There is something wrong in his/her world....or missing......find it......make it right. Get your child a pet.......a dog or cat is best.
Be sure your child has friends of good nature. Ones of lower state in mind and finance. It will let them see a different side of life and have compassion. To be smarter will also build self esteem but don't let them look down on the others but teach them how to lift up there friends with love and compassion.
Example!: Son! Please call your mother and I when you get to camp to let us know you are ok and have everything you need for camp......we worry about you cause we love you. You remember how you worried about Rover when he had to go to the vet. Well we worry too! Thank you son!" He will call often because of knowing how it feels.
If a child is mean to animals.....he will be to people also. There is something wrong in his/her world....or missing......find it......make it right. Get your child a pet.......a dog or cat is best.
Be sure your child has friends of good nature. Ones of lower state in mind and finance. It will let them see a different side of life and have compassion. To be smarter will also build self esteem but don't let them look down on the others but teach them how to lift up there friends with love and compassion.
Brilliant
Get to make him contact all scenarios possible, even those you didn't grow up with because when you raise a kid, you are preparing a man of the future and you can't want him to grow up with your limitations, you must want him to be better than you, more prepared for all kinds of environments.
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Hi LaCali, lovely contribution about the statistics
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Asking a potential lover what kind of education he/she had is very important, not only for kids but for you first. Extremely spoiled kids don't turn out to be good partners because they had no boundaries. This is were parents are responsibles as well.
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cristina: Wow Turkish, i'm with tears in my eyes, you really are an experienced on the matter. Men aren't like kids are they?
Anyway, sad for a kid not knowing the meaning of a hug. His parents should be animals or what?
I'm just remembering a documentary about a kid who was around 9, i don't remember the story quiet well, but all i can remember is that he had to go every now and then to an institution, to live there for about 3 months, waiting until someone likes him so to adopt him. He was so full of energy and optimistic that someone was going there to take me for good although he had been there back and forwards more than 3 times. The kid made me think that all that enthusiasm was his own, self marketing, he was trying to convey great energy to see if people like him. See how sad that is? What a responsibility
Anyway, sad for a kid not knowing the meaning of a hug. His parents should be animals or what?
I'm just remembering a documentary about a kid who was around 9, i don't remember the story quiet well, but all i can remember is that he had to go every now and then to an institution, to live there for about 3 months, waiting until someone likes him so to adopt him. He was so full of energy and optimistic that someone was going there to take me for good although he had been there back and forwards more than 3 times. The kid made me think that all that enthusiasm was his own, self marketing, he was trying to convey great energy to see if people like him. See how sad that is? What a responsibility
Men are little boys in grown up bodies
That's what I like about them 
Stick me in a room full of snot nosed wee gits and I am a happy woman because the fun and laughter beats sitting with a load of grumpy old gits any day
Children are fantastic, their resilience to life experiences is awe inspiring, and they make me feel humble in their presence
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Some children try so hard to please and are disillusioned by parents who don't have time to let them please them.
Example! "Daddy! I mopped the floor in the kitchen for mommy!"
Great! That will make mommy not have so much to do. I'm proud of you.
Instead they get! Did you put the mop up dirty? Well go wash it or it will stink and sour! (KID feelings
) Sometimes kids will do one thing to avoid a chore.
Great! with the floor mopped and you taking out the trash for her it will make mommy so happy. The child after you leave will do the trash they avoided or forgot. If the child left the mop dirty......wait! Then later....with them ask if the mop is dirty again and stinking. "Well its time to clean that mop again....come with me and I will show you how to we can clean it real good for mommy. Then together clean the mop and smell it.....saying...."As old as this mop is I think it needs to be washed after each time it is used. What do you think! I think so too."
Give the child place to please and teach with kindness and building up the child.
no matter how tired you are.........it is a childs life in the works you shape for good or bad!
Example! "Daddy! I mopped the floor in the kitchen for mommy!"
Great! That will make mommy not have so much to do. I'm proud of you.
Instead they get! Did you put the mop up dirty? Well go wash it or it will stink and sour! (KID feelings
) Sometimes kids will do one thing to avoid a chore.Great! with the floor mopped and you taking out the trash for her it will make mommy so happy. The child after you leave will do the trash they avoided or forgot. If the child left the mop dirty......wait! Then later....with them ask if the mop is dirty again and stinking. "Well its time to clean that mop again....come with me and I will show you how to we can clean it real good for mommy. Then together clean the mop and smell it.....saying...."As old as this mop is I think it needs to be washed after each time it is used. What do you think! I think so too."
Give the child place to please and teach with kindness and building up the child.
no matter how tired you are.........it is a childs life in the works you shape for good or bad!
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cristina: Asking a potential lover what kind of education he/she had is very important, not only for kids but for you first. Extremely spoiled kids don't turn out to be good partners because they had no boundaries. This is were parents are responsibles as well.
You have me thinking now..
My sister and I were brought up differently..she was the goddess who could do no wrong, had the relationship with our mum. My sister is a Prima Donna, at times a complete cow who does give her hubby a hard time when he doesn't meet her expectations. I love her to bits, but being honest, she is a cow
I, on the other hand was the snot nosed kid, into everything asking tons of questions and was if a child today, would have been diagnosed with ADAD
Yet I am the one with the great relationship with my parents
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RillyNiceGuy: Some children try so hard to please and are disillusioned by parents who don't have time to let them please them.
Example! "Daddy! I mopped the floor in the kitchen for mommy!"
Great! That will make mommy not have so much to do. I'm proud of you.
Instead they get! Did you put the mop up dirty? Well go wash it or it will stink and sour! (KID feelings ) Sometimes kids will do one thing to avoid a chore.
Great! with the floor mopped and you taking out the trash for her it will make mommy so happy. The child after you leave will do the trash they avoided or forgot. If the child left the mop dirty......wait! Then later....with them ask if the mop is dirty again and stinking. "Well its time to clean that mop again....come with me and I will show you how to we can clean it real good for mommy. Then together clean the mop and smell it.....saying...."As old as this mop is I think it needs to be washed after each time it is used. What do you think! I think so too."
Give the child place to please and teach with kindness and building up the child.
no matter how tired you are.........it is a childs life in the works you shape for good or bad!
Example! "Daddy! I mopped the floor in the kitchen for mommy!"
Great! That will make mommy not have so much to do. I'm proud of you.
Instead they get! Did you put the mop up dirty? Well go wash it or it will stink and sour! (KID feelings ) Sometimes kids will do one thing to avoid a chore.
Great! with the floor mopped and you taking out the trash for her it will make mommy so happy. The child after you leave will do the trash they avoided or forgot. If the child left the mop dirty......wait! Then later....with them ask if the mop is dirty again and stinking. "Well its time to clean that mop again....come with me and I will show you how to we can clean it real good for mommy. Then together clean the mop and smell it.....saying...."As old as this mop is I think it needs to be washed after each time it is used. What do you think! I think so too."
Give the child place to please and teach with kindness and building up the child.
no matter how tired you are.........it is a childs life in the works you shape for good or bad!
Please tell me you have at least a dozen children Rilly
You would be producing the reasonable, thoughtful adults of tomorrow------ This poll is Archived ------
NiceGuy, you do it well, write a book
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What's ADAD?
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cristina: What's ADAD?
ADHD ------ This poll is Archived ------
I think educate your kids ,
by using emoticons ,
its the only way
by using emoticons ,
its the only way
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Created: Dec 2008
Last Viewed: 14 hrs ago
Last Commented: Dec 2008
Last Voted: Jul 2017
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How to better educate your kids(Vote Below)
There are pics i see that don't convey any sort of emotion, just bodies...or bad shots
My ex feels sorry for not having had enough punishment from his parents, he said it would make a huge difference and that he envies his friends in that.
How should it be folks? How free should kids be?