Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there? (94)

May 28, 2022 8:03 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
"It all depends, who lives in the better place for potential employment for the other. Or can one support the both of them. Is one place better in some way, climate, culture, cost of living, etc."

You make a good point...these are important considerations, for sure. Even if both parties have retired, they may still need to consider climate, culture and cost of living.thumbs up
May 29, 2022 7:08 AM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Yes, if you have no attention to move, then
it is a waste to me
May 30, 2022 6:16 AM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
what is the point having a l,d.relationship......unless you can afford the air fare 2/3 times a week....plus the fact they are scammersanyhow........useing other peoples pics.........was watching a woman on tellyabout this guy who charmed her out of 20 thousand pounds.....all she had was his pic......and she trusted him. what an idiot.........doh doh doh
May 30, 2022 6:36 AM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
truheart1941: what is the point having a l,d.relationship......unless you can afford the air fare 2/3 times a week....plus the fact they are scammersanyhow........useing other peoples pics.........was watching a woman on tellyabout this guy who charmed her out of 20 thousand pounds.....all she had was his pic......and she trusted him. what an idiot.........
Wow...that's sadsad
May 30, 2022 6:38 AM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
Packersbabe1: Yes, if you have no attention to move, then
it is a waste to me
I don't agree. What if the other party is willing to move to you?
May 31, 2022 3:35 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
A long, long time ago, back in the days when the forums were buzzing with a diverse contributing population, there was a young couple.

They lived in different countries, neither in the best of circumstances and with no hope of meeting anytime soon, if at all. However, it was clear from their interaction how much they enriched each other's lives.

People may scoff about what is 'real', or a proper relationship, but no one gets to decide what other couples can and can't endure, or enjoy.
May 31, 2022 4:29 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
"People may scoff about what is 'real', or a proper relationship, but no one gets to decide what other couples can and can't endure, or enjoy."


Yes jac, I totally agree with this statement. After all, others don't control what eventually goes on behind a couple's closed doors, now do they?dunno hmmm
May 31, 2022 4:48 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7: Yes jac, I totally agree with this statement. After all, others don't control what eventually goes on behind a couple's closed doors, now do they?
Henry VIII's marriage to Anne of Cleves came about because of an overly-flattering (read: photoshopped) painting of Anne by Hans Holbein and many a marriage has been conducted by mail during times of war.

Internet relationship building isn't wholly unique. laugh
May 31, 2022 5:30 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
jac_the_gripper: Henry VIII's marriage to Anne of Cleves came about because of an overly-flattering (read: photoshopped) painting of Anne by Hans Holbein and many a marriage has been conducted by mail during times of war.

Internet relationship building isn't wholly unique.
Do you mean 'virtual' relationship building jac? If so, then I agree. Good example.thumbs up handshake
May 31, 2022 6:41 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7: Do you mean 'virtual' relationship building jac? If so, then I agree. Good example.
Yeah, 'virtual' is a better word. thumbs up
May 31, 2022 7:02 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
jac_the_gripper: A long, long time ago, back in the days when the forums were buzzing with a diverse contributing population, there was a young couple.

They lived in different countries, neither in the best of circumstances and with no hope of meeting anytime soon, if at all. However, it was clear from their interaction how much they enriched each other's lives.

People may scoff about what is 'real', or a proper relationship, but no one gets to decide what other couples can and can't endure, or enjoy.
That's one of my favorite stories. daydream

Wasn't there a snorkel involved?
Jun 2, 2022 9:37 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
Embedded image from another site
Jun 2, 2022 10:47 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Kaybee50: That's one of my favorite stories.

Wasn't there a snorkel involved?
I was actually talking about a different story, but the snorkel one is good, too. laugh

Hiya, KB. hug
Jun 2, 2022 11:49 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Lieberkim
LieberkimLieberkimFort St John, British Columbia Canada1 Posts
Once upon a time I packed up and moved to another country to start a new life with my "true love". Didn't work out so well for me so although I still believe it can work and if someone is willing to work at it it could be a wonderful thing... I'm headshy now and want to have a chance to spend time with someone so I can get to know them really well. And I doubt I would pull up anchor and move somewhere again, need to have stability and safety for my children and myself. So when someone from a distant land contacts me I let them know it's probably not going to happen because I don't want to waste their time.
Jun 3, 2022 7:45 AM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Deedee123x
Deedee123xDeedee123xLimerick, Ireland69 Threads 4,795 Posts
It's unfair to pursue anything with someone else in mind and in partnership if both parties are not equally and emotionally on a level with each other.

Truth, honesty and communication solves an awful lot of unnecessary woes.
Jun 3, 2022 8:15 AM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
Lieberkim: Once upon a time I packed up and moved to another country to start a new life with my "true love". Didn't work out so well for me so although I still believe it can work and if someone is willing to work at it it could be a wonderful thing... I'm headshy now and want to have a chance to spend time with someone so I can get to know them really well. And I doubt I would pull up anchor and move somewhere again, need to have stability and safety for my children and myself. So when someone from a distant land contacts me I let them know it's probably not going to happen because I don't want to waste their time.
That's thoughtful of you LK, and pragmatic too. It's only fair to let them know; give them the chance to decide whether they still want to build a relationship with you...thumbs up wine
Jun 3, 2022 1:28 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
irish78eyes
irish78eyesirish78eyesMeath/Louth, Louth Ireland22 Threads 6,274 Posts
Deedee123x: It's unfair to pursue anything with someone else in mind and in partnership if both parties are not equally and emotionally on a level with each other.

Truth, honesty and communication solves an awful lot of unnecessary woes.
Hence the saying love is blind thumbs up
Jun 3, 2022 2:11 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
raphael119
raphael119raphael119washington d.c., District of Columbia USA19 Threads 3 Polls 5,181 Posts
irish78eyes: Hence the saying love is blind
I like to make love blindfolded.banana
Jun 3, 2022 4:51 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7: I don't agree. What if the other party is willing to move to you?


It’s still a no, I did that and he completely
change, monitor my every call he wanted
to know who i was talking to, when he was
sitting next to me and after i got off the phone
he said, was that your mom? which he knew cause
he already know she calls me every morning but
he get phones call and go upstairs to talk, and
I never ask him who he was talking to, even
when i went to the store he would call and ask
me, how long I’ll be, i got tired and told him
it’s not working out, you can go back to Tulsa
he act like he didn’t want to leave do i pack his stuff up sat it at the door, wasn’t worry about him acting a fool, i had already made some calls
in case he did, he left tho
Jun 3, 2022 5:20 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
Packersbabe1: It’s still a no, I did that and he completely
change, monitor my every call he wanted
to know who i was talking to, when he was
sitting next to me and after i got off the phone
he said, was that your mom? which he knew cause
he already know she calls me every morning but
he get phones call and go upstairs to talk, and
I never ask him who he was talking to, even
when i went to the store he would call and ask
me, how long I’ll be, i got tired and told him
it’s not working out, you can go back to Tulsa
he act like he didn’t want to leave do i pack his stuff up sat it at the door, wasn’t worry about him acting a fool, i had already made some calls
in case he did, he left tho
wow What a thing....certainly something to be aware of. Thanks for sharing Parkersbabe. thumbs up wine
Jun 3, 2022 5:31 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7: What a thing....certainly something to be aware of. Thanks for sharing Parkersbabe.



Yes indeed, You’re welcome hug
Jun 4, 2022 12:35 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
smile
Jun 4, 2022 3:54 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
KarloradoFL
KarloradoFLKarloradoFLDeLeon Springs, Florida USA50 Threads 3 Polls 9,475 Posts
I know of 2 long distance couples who met on here. One is a guy who owns a farm in Australia who married an Asian woman younger than him. Another is an Asian woman who moved from Singapore to be with her boyfriend in Nebraska, USA. As far as I know those couples are very happy together. I also have a long distance online woman interest in Germany I met on this site and we may meet within the next year. I contacted her first and it was her idea to call me on the telephone and now we are on WhatsApp exchanging pictures.
Jun 4, 2022 5:25 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
KarloradoFL: I know of 2 long distance couples who met on here. One is a guy who owns a farm in Australia who married an Asian woman younger than him. Another is an Asian woman who moved from Singapore to be with her boyfriend in Nebraska, USA. As far as I know those couples are very happy together. I also have a long distance online woman interest in Germany I met on this site and we may meet within the next year. I contacted her first and it was her idea to call me on the telephone and now we are on WhatsApp exchanging pictures.
Hi Karl, that nice to know. If you all meet and decide to give it a real go, would you move there or would you want her to move to you?
Jun 4, 2022 6:15 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
KarloradoFL
KarloradoFLKarloradoFLDeLeon Springs, Florida USA50 Threads 3 Polls 9,475 Posts
Didi7: Hi Karl, that nice to know. If you all meet and decide to give it a real go, would you move there or would you want her to move to you?
I don't know. She works but gets 7 paid weeks off a year. She wants to come here for a few weeks in the colder months. I have not yet put in for a passport yet to go visit her. Unfortunately the Euro is stronger than the US Dollar. The last and only time I was in (West) Germany I could get over 5 Marks to the Dollar and you can get a meal and a drink with that at that time. She was going to come here in April but because of the War and refugee crises in Ukraine and I had to take care of my Parent's house my brother trashed in NYS we put it off for next winter. Hopefully travel and gas prices will go down by then. We were planning on taking a trip to Key West for a few days with her driving. Both of us never been there,
Jun 4, 2022 6:50 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Condor009
Condor009Condor009Victoria, British Columbia Canada200 Posts
Lets assume that you do meet someone that you like but have no intension whatsoever of relocating to their country or of paying their way to your country, then the answer, for myself would be no. It would denigrate the the other person, it would involve being duplicitous and finally it would be dishonest and dishonourable.
There are a few 'domestic' situations that may verge on those parameters, such as luring someone to your abode for the purposes of ravaging them...but if your intention was openly known and agreed to by the other party, then, hey, go for it!rolling on the floor laughing
Count Dracula: "I vish to ravage your bo-dy, my dear..."
Dear: "Oh thank God, finally! laugh
Jun 5, 2022 11:32 AM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
KarloradoFL: I don't know. She works but gets 7 paid weeks off a year. She wants to come here for a few weeks in the colder months. I have not yet put in for a passport yet to go visit her. Unfortunately the Euro is stronger than the US Dollar. The last and only time I was in (West) Germany I could get over 5 Marks to the Dollar and you can get a meal and a drink with that at that time. She was going to come here in April but because of the War and refugee crises in Ukraine and I had to take care of my Parent's house my brother trashed in NYS we put it off for next winter. Hopefully travel and gas prices will go down by then. We were planning on taking a trip to Key West for a few days with her driving. Both of us never been there,
Sounds well-planned. It seems to me that you are both in agreement, and willing to wait until better can be done, which is good. I hope that it works out even better than you planned, and wish you 'good luck'. cheering wine
Jun 5, 2022 11:43 AM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago92 Threads 39 Polls 1,342 Posts
"Count Dracula: "I vish to ravage your bo-dy, my dear..."
Dear: "Oh thank God, finally!"

Oh my Condor, that's funny! laugh laugh

As for what you said at the start, I agree with you that it would be highly unfair and duplicitous if you lead the person on without any intention of entering into a real (i.e. physical) relationship with him/her.
The thing is that even if I may not wish to move 'there', but would support he/she moving 'here', then it would not be a case of denigrating or dishonouring that person. Would there?
Hopefully, it would never be a case of luring someone to you, or being lured to someone for evil intentions...unless of course (as you suggested) he/she would welcome being ravaged. grin laugh
Jun 5, 2022 9:58 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Mackenzie123
Mackenzie123Mackenzie123Thunder Bay, Ontario Canada3 Threads 3 Polls 21 Posts
It's fair within a friendship, but not a relationship.
Jun 5, 2022 11:30 PM CST Is it fair to pursue a relationship abroad, if you have no intention of moving there?
Mercedes_00
Mercedes_00Mercedes_00Greater Sydney, New South Wales Australia18 Threads 20,301 Posts
For me interstate yes but not abroad
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