Would you date a person with a disability? (66)
jagtomocean city, Devon, England UK138 Threads 1 Polls 1,125 Postsjagtom: John Msall a disabled man has been selected as an astronaut today.
Mcall
If we were a couple for years and he becomes disable then YES.
It will be my honour to take care of him.
It will be my honour to take care of him.
Have and would again 
truheart1941: After a bad stroke my mother was disabled. I care for her 20years 24/7..........I made sure she was happy. And she was. Never demanding. ............but her brain was still as. Active. A lovely lady. X x
You were a wonderful son
Physical disability is manageable. But with a mentally handicapped love relationship is not possible.
That's not something easy to decide on.
It depends on the disability...
It depends on how it will affect your own life.
It is very nice to say disability don't matter but it does.
Like it or not in restricts you in some way.
I know people with diabled partners but they have been together long before disability happened.
Their lives aren't what the romantic movies tell you...
It depends on the disability...
It depends on how it will affect your own life.
It is very nice to say disability don't matter but it does.
Like it or not in restricts you in some way.
I know people with diabled partners but they have been together long before disability happened.
Their lives aren't what the romantic movies tell you...
jac_the_gripper: I don't think Didi puts up threads just for the sake of it and if she does, she generally does a splendid job of it.
I don't think the responsibility lies with just Didi, either. Generally, we lack awareness of so-called 'disability'.
We even have to play the 'disability game' created by society to get our equal human rights.
Responsibility lies with communities to become educated regarding the wide range of what is regarded as disability *think outside of the chair*I don't think the responsibility lies with just Didi, either. Generally, we lack awareness of so-called 'disability'.
We even have to play the 'disability game' created by society to get our equal human rights.
I do think though that responsibility also lies with authors of threads such as these.
They can be triggering for people who share their very personal stories only to be met with surprise and a virtual pat on the head by OPs who obviously didn't put much thought or research into their topic prior to tossing it up there.
Aspergers, autism and other neurodiversities are considered disabilites, and yet by communicating in this medium we are reliant upon its creators, maintainers and developers.
Why do we assume that difference is a disability and that we need to look after the poor souls out of the goodness of our elite hearts?
Why do we assume that difference is a disability and that we need to look after the poor souls out of the goodness of our elite hearts?
jac_the_gripper: Aspergers, autism and other neurodiversities are considered disabilites, and yet by communicating in this medium we are reliant upon its creators, maintainers and developers.
Why do we assume that difference is a disability and that we need to look after the poor souls out of the goodness of our elite hearts?
I find this thread discriminatory and distasteful.Why do we assume that difference is a disability and that we need to look after the poor souls out of the goodness of our elite hearts?
Why is a large sector of our communities segregated and looked upon as different and needing to be examined in terms of their 'date worthiness' ?
Didi7: Wow CC, how did it end?
Awkwardly as you might expect. I was 15 at the time and I would like to reach differently now to the same situation. The two best people I've ever known in my generation, one is dead now and the other never could walk. The women won't date him but he is really really good. But he lives in the south of France now, life could be worse.ChesneyChrist: Awkwardly as you might expect. I was 15 at the time and I would like to reach differently now to the same situation. The two best people I've ever known in my generation, one is dead now and the other never could walk. The women won't date him but he is really really good. But he lives in the south of France now, life could be worse.
React differently*serene56: Responsibility lies with communities to become educated regarding the wide range of what is regarded as disability *think outside of the chair*
I do think though that responsibility also lies with authors of threads such as these.
They can be triggering for people who share their very personal stories only to be met with surprise and a virtual pat on the head by OPs who obviously didn't put much thought or research into their topic prior to tossing it up there.
"Virtual pat on the head" I do think though that responsibility also lies with authors of threads such as these.
They can be triggering for people who share their very personal stories only to be met with surprise and a virtual pat on the head by OPs who obviously didn't put much thought or research into their topic prior to tossing it up there.
I hear your anger; I'm feeling just a weeee bit agitated myself.
The thing is, threads like these can be a tool to explore the issues and learn together. I'm trying to get over my affront and verbalise my thoughts and feelings in a constructive way.
I think it's unfortunate that it's a man because the disability compounds on male expendability, women mate to promote themselves and their offsprings but if you're a demotion you'll be disposed of. Men are more grateful for whatever they can get I would argue that disability is less disabling for women, love disabling at least obviously a flight of stairs doesn't care if you're male or female.
ChesneyChrist: I think it's unfortunate that it's a man because the disability compounds on male expendability, women mate to promote themselves and their offsprings but if you're a demotion you'll be disposed of. Men are more grateful for whatever they can get I would argue that disability is less disabling for women, love disabling at least obviously a flight of stairs doesn't care if you're male or female.
Or maybe women are already disabled by the gender role stereotype that we're weak and need looking after, so it's easier to ignore labelling us a second time in the same vein.That's not 'disability being less disabling for women'.
Hence the political correctness which is about being polite to the people you do the dirty on. Hypergamy is mercenary it is pragmatic, but it is also clever enough to be polite in its hard and unkind attitude to losers. The disabled will still be heavily rejected, but the importance thing is to disguise that you're rejecting him for disability so you can feel better about yourself and make him feel there must be something else, something more wrong with him
That's the problem with pee-cee. If you're never the bad person then who is? The poor disabled sod presumably. The woman will reject him purely because he can't walk and pretend that isn't the reason. So what is the reason? If she can't be the bad person he must be the bad person. But fortunately legs that don't work say nothing about your brain, they know damn well it's the legs.
Didi7: Firstly, I am uncertain about what has offended you Serene, so allow me to shed some light on my perspective and experience on the matter:
"My youngest brother is in his 50s and is wheel-chair bound. In his younger years he did the most - partied hard, socialized often, swam, played basketball, did marathons, travelled, and other things that I am not privy to (I'm surewink grin). So, not all persons with a disability may have problems socially. He's still single, never married, is employed, owns & drives his own car, owns his own home... but he's not dating the way he once did. Is it still an option?
Ladies, would you date someone like him?"
This is NOT fabricated information.
Secondly, not only have I been exposed to 'disability' from a child, but I've also been a Special Education Teacher for the last 7 years of my career, having even more firsthand knowledge and experiences on this topic. Unlike many who make comments from the outside looking in, I have a somewhat 'multi-focal' perspective.
Thirdly, the intention of my threads/blogs, etc are to encourage conversation, share opinions, remind and enlighten, NEVER to purposely offend. I do not plan on controlling how persons interpret and respond, but I do try to be respectful of ALL views. So, if you feel offended, please accept my apology.
Stephen Hawking sprang to mind amongst others, I was just reading a book about his life."My youngest brother is in his 50s and is wheel-chair bound. In his younger years he did the most - partied hard, socialized often, swam, played basketball, did marathons, travelled, and other things that I am not privy to (I'm surewink grin). So, not all persons with a disability may have problems socially. He's still single, never married, is employed, owns & drives his own car, owns his own home... but he's not dating the way he once did. Is it still an option?
Ladies, would you date someone like him?"
This is NOT fabricated information.
Secondly, not only have I been exposed to 'disability' from a child, but I've also been a Special Education Teacher for the last 7 years of my career, having even more firsthand knowledge and experiences on this topic. Unlike many who make comments from the outside looking in, I have a somewhat 'multi-focal' perspective.
Thirdly, the intention of my threads/blogs, etc are to encourage conversation, share opinions, remind and enlighten, NEVER to purposely offend. I do not plan on controlling how persons interpret and respond, but I do try to be respectful of ALL views. So, if you feel offended, please accept my apology.
Apparently he and his wife were entertaining a male fellow scientist, when it came time for him to retire, he made his way to crawl up the stairs, the friend got up to help.
Apparently, his wife said, "leave him to crawl up, it's good for him" .
Well of course it wasn't good for his particular disability.
But this is the way some people think, the disabled person is to blame because they don't try hard enough.
jac_the_gripper: It wasn't sarcasm, it was a different perspective.
I really don't like the word 'disabled'.
I really don't like the vibe I'm getting off this thread.
My bad, I thought you were being sarcastic, however I see now that you may be saying that indeed a person with disability is really the one doing the hard work (not the one that's "able-bodied"). Am I right?I really don't like the word 'disabled'.
I really don't like the vibe I'm getting off this thread.
And, btw, I will use 'differently-abled' if that would be better for you. (My brother and I use 'disabled', but that's probably because we're a bit old-schooled).
"It depends on how it will affect your own life.
It is very nice to say disability don't matter but it does.
Like it or not in restricts you in some way."
I agree with you Ten.
It is very nice to say disability don't matter but it does.
Like it or not in restricts you in some way."
I agree with you Ten.
8Dreams: Physical disability is manageable. But with a mentally handicapped love relationship is not possible.
I agree with your comment, but only partially. Not all physical disabilities are "manageable", and not all mental disabilities are impossible to manage. There are person who, once they take their prescribed treatments, are able to date (and may even get married).jagtom: John Msall a disabled man has been selected as an astronaut today.
Nice, but would you date him JT?
Track16: Have and would again
Good to know Track.
ChesneyChrist: The women won't date him but he is really really good. ...
This makes me think of my brother's situation...
Yes of course, I can date and also marry.
My first love was handicapped with her one leg. But it's my bad luck that I could not express my love to her. I could never propose her.
My first love was handicapped with her one leg. But it's my bad luck that I could not express my love to her. I could never propose her.
Didi7: Nice, but would you date him JT?
Well the man is a genius, maybe some would rub off on me, but my point was people seem to feel there is some choice about disability, and even the disabled person is just not trying to be "normal " hard enough.The fact is people equate physical disability with low intelligence.
" does she take sugar sugar??" aimed at a convenient carer
jac_the_gripper: Aspergers, autism and other neurodiversities are considered disabilites, and yet by communicating in this medium we are reliant upon its creators, maintainers and developers.
Why do we assume that difference is a disability and that we need to look after the poor souls out of the goodness of our elite hearts?
I think that it's our respect and compassion (not really our pity), that persons who are differently-abled want. My brother has often spoken out (actively and loudly) about their needs, to all who he thought needed to hear, even our Government officials. He does not consider himself a "poor soul", nor does he encourage others with disabilities to think so of themselves. But he (and others like him) is human, with the same need for love and companionship, as we ALL have. Why do we assume that difference is a disability and that we need to look after the poor souls out of the goodness of our elite hearts?
Perhaps it is the "elite" who are also "poor souls", since many still can't find themselves a DATE.
Didi7: My bad, I thought you were being sarcastic, however I see now that you may be saying that indeed a person with disability is really the one doing the hard work (not the one that's "able-bodied"). Am I right?
And, btw, I will use 'differently-abled' if that would be better for you. (My brother and I use 'disabled', but that's probably because we're a bit old-schooled).
I'm saying that difference doesn't mean you're a useless tw*t who drags everyone around them down.And, btw, I will use 'differently-abled' if that would be better for you. (My brother and I use 'disabled', but that's probably because we're a bit old-schooled).
Decent_Love: Yes of course, I can date and also marry.
My first love was handicapped with her one leg. But it's my bad luck that I could not express my love to her. I could never propose her.
Wow DL, maybe you were just too young at the time. My first love was handicapped with her one leg. But it's my bad luck that I could not express my love to her. I could never propose her.
jac_the_gripper: I'm saying that difference doesn't mean you're a useless tw*t who drags everyone around them down.
jagtom: ...but my point was people seem to feel there is some choice about disability, and even the disabled person is just not trying to be "normal " hard enough.
The fact is people equate physical disability with low intelligence.
Aah yes, I see and agree.The fact is people equate physical disability with low intelligence.
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