Yes, I have experienced that bad feeling of betrayal. I really wanted to make her feel like she's not important, that she was just an insignificant part of my life and that she can never really hurt me. I was deployed to Iraq when it happened it lasted for 8 of the 13 months I was gone. But the thing is, I loved her and so despite everything, I forgave her and hoped that someday I will be able to forget the way she deceived me. We have divorced now....
Yes, I have experienced that bad feeling of betrayal. I really wanted to make her feel like she's not important, that she was just an insignificant part of my life and that she can never really hurt me. I was deployed to Iraq when it happened it lasted for 8 of the 13 months I was gone. But the thing is, I loved her and so despite everything, I forgave her and hoped that someday I will be able to forget the way she deceived me. We have divorced now....
mime61Summerville, SC, South Carolina USA339 posts
I always forgive...people are human and make mistakes....I give too much trust sometimes....I am not here to judge...if I can't forgive someone for their mistakes, how can I expect anyone to forgive me when I mess up!
I am continually amazed at the responses of people wanting to get even with the other person, when it's the spouse that should get the brunt of the anger. The other person is sometimes just as surprised as you are, but the spouse knew they were being dis-honest!!
Right, but you could end it immediately *and* still (eventually) forgive him or her, I think. The problem with not forgiving is that it seems to usually lead to a bad case of festering soul-rot, if you'll excuse my graphic description...
jodigirlsfreeConway, South Carolina USA1,843 posts
I have had this happen to me ...I forgave ...but it was taken by him as it was okay.and he kept doing it.. what made it difficult in my situation was ..... it was with the ex-wife before me..... I then became the ex-wife and she again the wife...
I have forgiven him but have never and will never forget the pain of the betrayal or how much it has affected my ability to trust others .....
when it comes to my heart I am no longer willing to take chances.. I am also beginning to ask a lot more questions and no longer take things at face value....
If it was just a boyfriend.. probably dump.... if a long term partner or husband.. give them a damn hard time !!! but i would have to at least try and forgive..ONCE!!!! for the sake of marriage/family whatever.. if they did it again though.. well they were warned!!
Actually this is the reason I am divorced. My wife had an affair....I was willing to forgive her because I loved her so much. However, she decided to stay with the other guy, and now they have been married for 6 years, been together 11.
Been there before. If she wouldn't have left on her own, I'd have made sure that she was gone. But I did forgive her later. Only to move on with my life.
I don't want to make light of what your ex-wife did, FF. I'd rather make more of what you did - for yourself - by forgiving her. It took a lot of character to do that, and it's ultimately the only way to get on happily living your life.
Of course, I'm sorry you had to go through this. There aren't many worse things to experience, I think.
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If you were betrayed by your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife...you would(Vote Below)
I really wanted to make her feel like she's not important, that she was just an insignificant part of my life and that she can never really hurt me. I was deployed to Iraq when it happened it lasted for 8 of the 13 months I was gone. But the thing is, I loved her and so despite everything, I forgave her and hoped that someday I will be able to forget the way she deceived me. We have divorced now....