IF THIS HAPPENED TO YOU .. HOW & WHY WOULD YOU REACT ? WOULD YOU (16)
It's a bit hard to follow.
Besides, I do not think it is appropriate for a poll. Re-word it and post it as a blog.
Good luck
Besides, I do not think it is appropriate for a poll. Re-word it and post it as a blog.
Good luck
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newchallenges: Scenario: you have known the family for more than 35 yrs, once married to and had a child with family member, now divorced 25 + yrs
AND THE FOLLOWING HAPPENS:
The parents divorced then the child passed away both events many yrs ago.
However you learn by sheer luck the X Inlaw recently passed away and in the Obituary, their is mention of everyone else including all grandchildren, except for the deceased grandchild who happens to be your child.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? WOULD YOU REACT? WHAT WOULD YOU DO or SAY?,
and WHY?
OR WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE and LET THE WORLD BELIEVE that this CHILD NEVER EXISTED? EVEN THOUGH YOU AND THE FAMILY KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!!!
WHAT SHOULD A PERSON DO IN THIS CASE?
ANY COMMENTS /ADVICE GOOD or BAD graciously accepted.
This is a True Story. MINE.
AND THE FOLLOWING HAPPENS:
The parents divorced then the child passed away both events many yrs ago.
However you learn by sheer luck the X Inlaw recently passed away and in the Obituary, their is mention of everyone else including all grandchildren, except for the deceased grandchild who happens to be your child.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? WOULD YOU REACT? WHAT WOULD YOU DO or SAY?,
and WHY?
OR WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE and LET THE WORLD BELIEVE that this CHILD NEVER EXISTED? EVEN THOUGH YOU AND THE FAMILY KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!!!
WHAT SHOULD A PERSON DO IN THIS CASE?
ANY COMMENTS /ADVICE GOOD or BAD graciously accepted.
This is a True Story. MINE.
It would depend what traditions were there. If it was worded something like "mother of" and "grandmother of" as a description of the deceased, and then listed everyone except your child, then it is not nice of them to do that.
But if it is worded " will be missed by" the following, then it is appropriate not to include a deceased relative.
Sometimes when people are in bereavement, they do not think properly when wording obituaries. It often happens that people are left out.
You could always put your own notice in the paper saying missed by you, and list your deceased child as her relative when mentioning family members.....
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this could only happen in canada
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newchallenges: JUST LEAVE IT ALONE
Just leave it alone. Getting worked up about it only hurts you, and behaving in an angry fashion about it is not a fitting tribute to the child's memory.
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newchallenges: Scenario: you have known the family for more than 35 yrs, once married to and had a child with family member, now divorced 25 + yrs
AND THE FOLLOWING HAPPENS:
The parents divorced then the child passed away both events many yrs ago.
However you learn by sheer luck the X Inlaw recently passed away and in the Obituary, their is mention of everyone else including all grandchildren, except for the deceased grandchild who happens to be your child.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? WOULD YOU REACT? WHAT WOULD YOU DO or SAY?,
and WHY?
OR WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE and LET THE WORLD BELIEVE that this CHILD NEVER EXISTED? EVEN THOUGH YOU AND THE FAMILY KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!!!
WHAT SHOULD A PERSON DO IN THIS CASE?
ANY COMMENTS /ADVICE GOOD or BAD graciously accepted.
This is a True Story. MINE.
AND THE FOLLOWING HAPPENS:
The parents divorced then the child passed away both events many yrs ago.
However you learn by sheer luck the X Inlaw recently passed away and in the Obituary, their is mention of everyone else including all grandchildren, except for the deceased grandchild who happens to be your child.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? WOULD YOU REACT? WHAT WOULD YOU DO or SAY?,
and WHY?
OR WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE and LET THE WORLD BELIEVE that this CHILD NEVER EXISTED? EVEN THOUGH YOU AND THE FAMILY KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!!!
WHAT SHOULD A PERSON DO IN THIS CASE?
ANY COMMENTS /ADVICE GOOD or BAD graciously accepted.
This is a True Story. MINE.
i DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU REACT AS YOU DO, BUT IF IT WAS AN OVERSIGHT JUST LET IT GO. a DECEASED CHILD CAN'T INHERIT ANYTHING ANYWAY. lET'S HOPE THIS ISN'T ABOUT TRANSFER OF WEALTH, ULTIMATELY...
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GingerBe: It would depend what traditions were there. If it was worded something like "mother of" and "grandmother of" as a description of the deceased, and then listed everyone except your child, then it is not nice of them to do that.
But if it is worded " will be missed by" the following, then it is appropriate not to include a deceased relative.
Sometimes when people are in bereavement, they do not think properly when wording obituaries. It often happens that people are left out.
You could always put your own notice in the paper saying missed by you, and list your deceased child as her relative when mentioning family members.....
But if it is worded " will be missed by" the following, then it is appropriate not to include a deceased relative.
Sometimes when people are in bereavement, they do not think properly when wording obituaries. It often happens that people are left out.
You could always put your own notice in the paper saying missed by you, and list your deceased child as her relative when mentioning family members.....
There is also nothing wrong with placing a second obit. with the words preceeded in death by _______ _ _________, Grandson/Daugh. There are quite a few of those here where I live. ------ This poll is Archived ------
Reacting will not bring your child back nor will the obituary be revised. It could have been an honest error. I am sorry for your loss and do hope you come to a resolve.
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I'm sorry an obituary can be revised if needed, my mistake.
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reveered: this could only happen in canada
WHAT?
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Christmas1: WHAT?
Succint and to the point
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In the condolence part of the online obit - mention it kindly so they will see it. No child should be passed over in the family.
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Zuleika: Just leave it alone. Getting worked up about it only hurts you, and behaving in an angry fashion about it is not a fitting tribute to the child's memory.
No, don't leave it alone. It is your child. I would be pissed off royally if one of mine got passed over.
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Try to get some closure, it has been 25 years. I have lost a brother 25 years ago and even though I still think of him I am sure nobody outside our immidiate family does. My husband passed 15 years ago and though it effect his son and me every day most people have forgotten. I have closure, such is life. Perhaps you should give a thought to some people not being able to deal with or handle passed losses.
I think here you don't mention deceased people in the orbs, but I could be wrong
I think here you don't mention deceased people in the orbs, but I could be wrong
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I am truly sorry for your loss. I think that it will make your life much easier and give you serenity to just accept what happened (about the relative not including your child). You never know why someone did or didnt do something.. could be that they find it painful to acknowledge their loss. Although it is human nature to speculate such things, does it really matter in the big picture of your existance? To judge the action and dwell in anger will make your life very unpeaceful. To let it go and focus your energy on positive thoughts and loving memories of your child, you may find peace. Although I have never been in your exact situation, this approach to things that hurt me works for me. Nevertheless, I certainly pray for you to find peace in your life. 
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GingerBe: It would depend what traditions were there. If it was worded something like "mother of" and "grandmother of" as a description of the deceased, and then listed everyone except your child, then it is not nice of them to do that.
But if it is worded " will be missed by" the following, then it is appropriate not to include a deceased relative.
Sometimes when people are in bereavement, they do not think properly when wording obituaries. It often happens that people are left out.
You could always put your own notice in the paper saying missed by you, and list your deceased child as her relative when mentioning family members.....
But if it is worded " will be missed by" the following, then it is appropriate not to include a deceased relative.
Sometimes when people are in bereavement, they do not think properly when wording obituaries. It often happens that people are left out.
You could always put your own notice in the paper saying missed by you, and list your deceased child as her relative when mentioning family members.....
Great insight, and well said!
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Sometimes in an obituary they say the deceased was pre-deceased by someone, e.g., Mrs. Smith was the grandmother of the late Suzie Smith. The wording of obituaries here in the south is a lot different from the way they do it in the north.
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1,244 Views
16 Comments
in Advice
Created: Mar 2010
Last Viewed: Apr 7
Last Commented: Mar 2010
Last Voted: Jul 2017
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IF THIS HAPPENED TO YOU .. HOW & WHY WOULD YOU REACT ? WOULD YOU(Vote Below)
AND THE FOLLOWING HAPPENS:
The parents divorced then the child passed away both events many yrs ago.
However you learn by sheer luck the X Inlaw recently passed away and in the Obituary, their is mention of everyone else including all grandchildren, except for the deceased grandchild who happens to be your child.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? WOULD YOU REACT? WHAT WOULD YOU DO or SAY?,
and WHY?
OR WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE and LET THE WORLD BELIEVE that this CHILD NEVER EXISTED? EVEN THOUGH YOU AND THE FAMILY KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!!!
WHAT SHOULD A PERSON DO IN THIS CASE?
ANY COMMENTS /ADVICE GOOD or BAD graciously accepted.
This is a True Story. MINE.