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What Happends Most in Divorce with Children? ( Archived) (57)

Feb 25, 2008 4:16 AM CSTWhat Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Elvisfan
ElvisfanElvisfanChaska, Minnesota, USA7 Threads 6 Polls 40 Posts

What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?(Vote Below)

- (To Vote: select an option above, then press this button)
They both end up equal
12
10%
The mother gets custudy of children
63
54%
Dad can't see the kids much but is better parent
6
5%
Mom can't see the kids much but the better parent
1
1%
Women lie in court to get what she wants
5
4%
Men lie in court to get what he wants
8
7%
Does not matter the Dad always looses
13
11%
Social Services help Mom not Dad
1
1%
Social Services help Mom and Dad equally
1
1%
Social Services do anything so Mom has custudy
7
6%
Total Votes
117
I am trying to find out what the majority thinks about what happens to Children after a divorce with children are involved. I have heard so many different things about the subject.

Thank You
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Feb 25, 2008 4:16 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Elvisfan
ElvisfanElvisfanChaska, Minnesota USA7 Threads 6 Polls 40 Posts
I am trying to find out what the majority thinks about what happens to Children after a divorce with children are involved. I have heard so many different things about the subject.

Thank You
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Feb 25, 2008 4:19 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
I think.. in the majority of cases the children end up with their mums.. well they seem too.

It doesn't mean it's always right.. but it seems to be more the 'norm' after a divorce.
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Feb 25, 2008 4:47 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
rasgumby
rasgumbyrasgumbyMoberly, Missouri USA133 Threads 13 Polls 6,929 Posts
Just a really screwed up system!

The court gave my son to his mother. Even thou Police and DFS were on my side... Just made no difference.
Then 2 years later when I lived in another state....They called me and told me to come get him NOW! and forced her to sign them over to me or go to jail!scold
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Feb 25, 2008 7:32 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
newinsouth
newinsouthnewinsouthAiken, South Carolina USA32 Threads 3 Polls 1,350 Posts
The court gave me custody but even so the bitter ex ended up turning the kids against me. And me, I was trying so hard not to say anything against him. It took a co-worker's comments about the situation to make me realize what he was doing. By then it was too late.
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Feb 25, 2008 7:36 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK220 Threads 5,912 Posts
newinsouth: The court gave me custody but even so the bitter ex ended up turning the kids against me. And me, I was trying so hard not to say anything against him. It took a co-worker's comments about the situation to make me realize what he was doing. By then it was too late.


What happened did you lose your kids?
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Feb 25, 2008 7:42 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK220 Threads 5,912 Posts
A friend of mine brought up his son on his own with family support . The child mother walked out when the boy was 10 month old the no contact. Then when the lad was 5yrs old she walks back in wants access then full custody. My friend looses custody in the court lad goes to live with a mother he hardly know. Misses his dad his grandmother and aunties and uncles all of whom have been there since he was a baby.

Six month later the boy is back with his dad mother goes walk about again. All that upset because some judge thinks mother make the best parents the systems mad. very mad
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Feb 25, 2008 7:48 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
baltica
balticabalticaKlaipeda, Lithuania Minor Lithuania268 Posts
In this part of Europe children stay with the mother in almost 100% of the cases after divorce. The mother must be very anti social to lose her children, or she has to refuse them herself. There are very, very few fathers who want to have custody of their children, the best thing they can have is see them whenever they want, but many do not want even that.
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Feb 25, 2008 7:54 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
kissmedeeply
kissmedeeplykissmedeeplyPetitcodiac, New Brunswick Canada81 Threads 21,310 Posts
baltica: In this part of Europe children stay with the mother in almost 100% of the cases after divorce. The mother must be very anti social to lose her children, or she has to refuse them herself. There are very, very few fathers who want to have custody of their children, the best thing they can have is see them whenever they want, but many do not want even that.
The Man i am seeing has full custody of his children..as i have custody of my boys..
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Feb 25, 2008 8:08 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
PILIPALA: A friend of mine brought up his son on his own with family support . The child mother walked out when the boy was 10 month old the no contact. Then when the lad was 5yrs old she walks back in wants access then full custody. My friend looses custody in the court lad goes to live with a mother he hardly know. Misses his dad his grandmother and aunties and uncles all of whom have been there since he was a baby.

Six month later the boy is back with his dad mother goes walk about again. All that upset because some judge thinks mother make the best parents the systems mad.


Ohh thats awful Mair thumbs down thumbs down
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Feb 25, 2008 8:10 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
kissmedeeply: The Man i am seeing has full custody of his children..as i have custody of my boys..


Yeah I have full custody of mine.. but I have tried (loads of times over the years) to get my ex to have more contact with them... more care with them.. but he doesn't. dunno

It will be HIM sat in the ole folks home with children that couldn't care less about visiting him.
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Feb 25, 2008 8:11 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Arlene101
Arlene101Arlene101Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia Canada12 Threads 4,845 Posts
Elvisfan: I am trying to find out what the majority thinks about what happens to Children after a divorce with children are involved. I have heard so many different things about the subject.

Thank You
Now this is just my opinion, from what I have seen!!! I think most women lie to the court system to do whatever it is possible to hurt their ex. I didn't, I won custody because my ex said he wouldn't even try because he knew our son couldn't have a better mother. heart1 We never had a problem in that way. I see more and more men getting custody all the time though. They are starting to give equality to men here NOW.yay JMO
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Feb 25, 2008 8:19 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
Arlene101: Now this is just my opinion, from what I have seen!!! I think most women lie to the court system to do whatever it is possible to hurt their ex. I didn't, I won custody because my ex said he wouldn't even try because he knew our son couldn't have a better mother. We never had a problem in that way. I see more and more men getting custody all the time though. They are starting to give equality to men here NOW. JMO


Hellooo wave

I didn't win custody.. because it never went to court.. But I gained custody.
My ex said the same to me that the kids were far better with me. (he would have been six foot under if he HADN'T thought that) devil

I think it's GREAT that men are beginning to be considered almost as much as women now..

It's about bloody time.

In RL.. Some of the most CRAP parents I know (personally) .. are the mothers.
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Feb 25, 2008 8:22 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Arlene101
Arlene101Arlene101Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia Canada12 Threads 4,845 Posts
Claayer: Hellooo

I didn't win custody.. because it never went to court.. But I gained custody.
My ex said the same to me that the kids were far better with me. (he would have been six foot under if he HADN'T thought that)

I think it's GREAT that men are beginning to be considered almost as much as women now..

It's about bloody time.

In RL.. Some of the most CRAP parents I know (personally) .. are the mothers.
wave Hi there Claayer: I agree wholeheartedly.thumbs up thumbs up
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Feb 25, 2008 8:23 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
JOESINGLEDAD
JOESINGLEDADJOESINGLEDADNavarre, USA2 Threads 519 Posts
Around here the mother usually gets the kids.I caught my ex cheating on me and went out of town for 6 weeks.When I came back,I had child support payments and no custody rights even though the kids lived wth me.
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Feb 25, 2008 8:23 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
Infact.. I have a buddy (a dad) whose wife treated him like a doormat.. slept with everyone.. was off her head 90% of the time (on speed).

They have three children.. In the end she left and went off with someone else.. (400miles away)... just dropped the kids and him (it was soooooooooo sad!)

Anyhooo.. the dad.. gave up his job and has blossomed into a fantastic parent. Their eldest child isn't even his...

He has also built a bond between that child and her real father.. FOR her.. and FOR the real father.

What a star thumbs up

Every now and again.. the mum pops up and shouts the odds.. screws up the kids... then vanishes again. roll eyes roll eyes
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Feb 25, 2008 8:25 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
JOESINGLEDAD: Around here the mother usually gets the kids.I caught my ex cheating on me and went out of town for 6 weeks.When I came back,I had child support payments and no custody rights even though the kids lived wth me.


Waaat? thats nuts.. confused
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Feb 25, 2008 8:25 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Arlene101
Arlene101Arlene101Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia Canada12 Threads 4,845 Posts
Arlene101: Now this is just my opinion, from what I have seen!!! I think most women lie to the court system to do whatever it is possible to hurt their ex. I didn't, I won custody because my ex said he wouldn't even try because he knew our son couldn't have a better mother. We never had a problem in that way. I see more and more men getting custody all the time though. They are starting to give equality to men here NOW. JMO
By the way, I just noticed I said I "won custody" as I noticed when Claayer posted, I did not WIN custody it was was just never an issue. Thanks Claayer!wave thumbs up
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Feb 25, 2008 8:26 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
Arlene101: By the way, I just noticed I said I "won custody" as I noticed when Claayer posted, I did not WIN custody it was was just never an issue. Thanks Claayer!


giggle haha

hug
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Feb 25, 2008 8:28 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
bodleing
bodleingbodleingGreater Manchester, England UK270 Threads 9 Polls 18,384 Posts
Just after i split up from my wife she was sent
to prison.
No need to argue about custody then.
I had to take care of them and run my business,
it was hard times.
Worth it though, they are now both partners
in the family business.
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Feb 25, 2008 8:30 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
bodleing: Just after i split up from my wife she was sent
to prison.

No need to argue about custody then.
I had to take care of them and run my business,
it was hard times.
Worth it though, they are now both partners
in the family business.


Eeek!..

But well done Bodle.. not an easy task is it. roll eyes

laugh

great they are are partners in your business now too.. thats great thumbs up
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Feb 25, 2008 8:30 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
I think we all deserve a blimmin MEDAL! laugh applause
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Feb 25, 2008 8:31 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
bodleing
bodleingbodleingGreater Manchester, England UK270 Threads 9 Polls 18,384 Posts
Claayer: Eeek!..

But well done Bodle.. not an easy task is it.



great they are are partners in your business now too.. thats great


And the dog of courselaugh
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Feb 25, 2008 8:32 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Arlene101
Arlene101Arlene101Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia Canada12 Threads 4,845 Posts
Claayer: I think we all deserve a blimmin MEDAL!
Yep!head banger head banger yay
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Feb 25, 2008 8:32 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
JOESINGLEDAD
JOESINGLEDADJOESINGLEDADNavarre, USA2 Threads 519 Posts
Claayer: Waaat? thats nuts..
I moved her across the street and the kids stayed with me most of the time.After she repeatedly went to jail,I got full custody.She went to Canada and hasn't even called them since in over a year.
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Feb 25, 2008 8:35 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
vonney
vonneyvonneyDublin, Ireland32 Threads 9,360 Posts
My ex nearly wet himself when we split up and I told him he could have the kids to stay with him whenever he wanted....In ten years hasnt happened once.

We never actually divorced so no custody arrangements as such
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Feb 25, 2008 8:39 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
JOESINGLEDAD: I moved her across the street and the kids stayed with me most of the time.After she repeatedly went to jail,I got full custody.She went to Canada and hasn't even called them since in over a year.


grrrr very mad

I hate that.. my ex is like that for contact.. He DOES give me maintenance.. but he never EVER EVER calls to speak to them.. not Birthdays not Christmas etc.

Yet every few months 3-4-5? he will show up take the kids out to dinner with his friends so he can play Super dad .. he thinks telling them he will take them to Florida next year (this summer).. means he doesn't have to speak to them for another year.

I've tried soooo hard not to ever let the kids think badly of him.. but tbh.. the more time passes and the older they get.. they can see VERY clearly for themselves who is doing what.
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Feb 25, 2008 8:40 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
vonney: My ex nearly wet himself when we split up and I told him he could have the kids to stay with him whenever he wanted....In ten years hasnt happened once.

We never actually divorced so no custody arrangements as such


Exactly.. I gave my ex every opportunity and choice he wanted re the kids..

and he picked NONE. roll eyes



wave hug
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Feb 25, 2008 8:42 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
mindfful
mindffulmindffulChicago, Illinois USA307 Threads 9 Polls 25,009 Posts
the only across the board answer to this question is pain
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Feb 25, 2008 8:43 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK144 Threads 13 Polls 22,386 Posts
mindfful: the only across the board answer to this question is pain


YUP!


wave hug MF
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Feb 25, 2008 8:44 AM CST What Happends Most in Divorce with Children?
bodleing
bodleingbodleingGreater Manchester, England UK270 Threads 9 Polls 18,384 Posts
mindfful: the only across the board answer to this question is pain


True MF, but sometimes it has to be suffered for
the benefit of all invoved.
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