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Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car ( Archived) (13)

Mar 2, 2008 9:37 PM CSTDivorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
Elvisfan
ElvisfanElvisfanChaska, Minnesota, USA7 Threads 6 Polls 40 Posts

Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car(Vote Below)

- (To Vote: select an option above, then press this button)
Good and the Dad lets her see mom
23
31%
OK, unless theres somethin very wrong with the Dad
17
23%
Let her see Daddy as much as Possible
6
8%
No she belongs w/her mother
1
1%
Let Social Services figure it out
5
7%
Duh thats a no brainier
10
13%
Whatever you do. DO NOT let Social Services pick
5
7%
Social Services will just add to the problem
8
11%
Total Votes
75
I am researching the subject; Divorced with Children
I might make some more.
I thank you for your input, it is going to help a lot of Children.
So Thank You Very Much!handshake


Concerned Persons
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Mar 2, 2008 9:37 PM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
Elvisfan
ElvisfanElvisfanChaska, Minnesota USA7 Threads 6 Polls 40 Posts
I am researching the subject; Divorced with Children
I might make some more.
I thank you for your input, it is going to help a lot of Children.
So Thank You Very Much!handshake


Concerned Persons
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Mar 3, 2008 12:21 AM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
j_goose
j_goosej_goosenorthfield, Ohio USA74 Threads 5 Polls 2,057 Posts
Elvisfan: I am researching the subject; Divorced with Children
I might make some more.
I thank you for your input, it is going to help a lot of Children.
So Thank You Very Much! Concerned Persons


I'm in that position right now. I have two children (10 and 12) that want to live with me full time.

(mom drinks herself to sleep, pays little attention to son)

But, without necessary funding, I can't fight the custody agreement. Which BTW is "Joint" which is a laugh, as I still manage to have to make child support payments while she lives with her parents.


Yeah, the divorce laws and custody statutes are laughable, but what do you do? Hope that they survive until their 18, I guess....
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Mar 3, 2008 12:29 AM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
1htmma
1htmma1htmmaNorthwest, Oregon USA10 Threads 238 Posts
Elvisfan: I am researching the subject; Divorced with Children
I might make some more.
I thank you for your input, it is going to help a lot of Children.
So Thank You Very Much! Concerned Persons


The best thing a parent can do for their children is.......love and show respect for their other parent,

frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated
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Mar 3, 2008 1:00 AM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
Imasquirly1
Imasquirly1Imasquirly1Springfield, Illinois USA155 Threads 3,161 Posts
I am a Paralegal student and that is one of the things that came up in our family law class...

there was a parent that was under the influence and the children were in the car. The other parent was able to get temporary protective custody of the children. The Court then ordered the parent that had the DUI to go thru many different programs and classes. In the end, the parent that got the Protective custody, kept the children because the other parent couldn't complete the tasks to the courts satisfaction.

If there is any info I can help you with, just email me, I would be glad to help.

Lynn
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Mar 3, 2008 5:32 AM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
sunshine79
sunshine79sunshine79chardon, Ohio USA2 Threads 770 Posts
j_goose: I'm in that position right now. I have two children (10 and 12) that want to live with me full time.

(mom drinks herself to sleep, pays little attention to son)

But, without necessary funding, I can't fight the custody agreement. Which BTW is "Joint" which is a laugh, as I still manage to have to make child support payments while she lives with her parents.Yeah, the divorce laws and custody statutes are laughable, but what do you do? Hope that they survive until their 18, I guess....
Goose I could be wrong but at 13 a child can decide who they want to live with. But yes the divorce laws are a total joke. My ex pays his totally laughable support whenever he is forced (tax time) to and gives me the sob story that they don't have any money to help me with what our child needs. I provide everything for his house and mine cause if I don't he keeps the good clothes for instance and sends him home to me in clothes that have gone to church more than i have. So in the end I look like I am the one who is white trash and not him and his wife and by the way thats his version of Shared Parenting along with maybe a few hrs during the week and if I have been really really good and nice he might actually take him over night when he court ordered to do more. Just remember our kid will remember what we do for them and form their own opinions of the situations.
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Jun 2, 2008 10:55 AM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
hereigoagainx3
hereigoagainx3hereigoagainx3Anoka, Minnesota USA1 Posts
sunshine79: Goose I could be wrong but at 13 a child can decide who they want to live with. But yes the divorce laws are a total joke. My ex pays his totally laughable support whenever he is forced (tax time) to and gives me the sob story that they don't have any money to help me with what our child needs. I provide everything for his house and mine cause if I don't he keeps the good clothes for instance and sends him home to me in clothes that have gone to church more than i have. So in the end I look like I am the one who is white trash and not him and his wife and by the way thats his version of Shared Parenting along with maybe a few hrs during the week and if I have been really really good and nice he might actually take him over night when he court ordered to do more. Just remember our kid will remember what we do for them and form their own opinions of the situations.


In the state of MN and WI, the children NEVER get to decide who they live with until they are 18. The Courts in these 2 states take into consideration the age of the minor and the maturity level exhibited by the minor to determine if they will even talk to them...and even if they do decide to talk to them, the childs wants mean nothing in the end. it is still a he said she said deal unless you can prove bad intent or malice on one part or another. who ever has custody is 95% or better likely to retain custody. Is it fair for the parents? Fair for the kids? Not always, does the system really care? Not really. Both of these states have now instituded new law for child suport and it revolves around custody and the mother still has the edge, even if the father has custody....is that fair? No. Welcome to hell....until the child is 18.

Divorce is ugliest on the kids. Just love them and be the best you can be to them...slamming the absent parent just makes you look bad, no matter what your situation.


Also, if any one is interested, a Gardium at Leitum is a joke. They are paid NOT to make waves in the system. If you want your childs vice heard, have them hire an attorney who will fight for what they want. Expensive, yes, but worth it!
peace
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Jun 2, 2008 10:58 AM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
shipoker55
shipoker55shipoker55St. Petersburg, Florida USA256 Threads 2 Polls 12,797 Posts
j_goose: I'm in that position right now. I have two children (10 and 12) that want to live with me full time.

(mom drinks herself to sleep, pays little attention to son)

But, without necessary funding, I can't fight the custody agreement. Which BTW is "Joint" which is a laugh, as I still manage to have to make child support payments while she lives with her parents.Yeah, the divorce laws and custody statutes are laughable, but what do you do? Hope that they survive until their 18, I guess....



at the risk of being labeled a "woman hater"....women almost always come out ahead in child custody cases and men have few rights!
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Jun 2, 2008 11:23 AM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
twinkles1994
twinkles1994twinkles1994Vancouver, Washington USA117 Threads 3,287 Posts
I'm a parent and I'm the sole caregiver. I feel that it doesn't matter if the child is with the mother or the father as long as the parent that has custody is responsible and not endangering the children. A good friend of mine is divorced and his kids live with their mother and she's making alot of bad decisions and I've told him he needs to file for custody.
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Jun 2, 2008 11:34 AM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
2catchastar
2catchastar2catchastarCorning, New York USA12 Threads 1,123 Posts
I am not in that position to where I would need to fight on that issue. But I do come from a broken home as many of us do. And I can only speak from my experience as the child.
It's hard on any kid to be placed in a spot where they have to chose who they want to live with. But if a child feels they want to be with one over the other, that wish should be granted, as the child iss already going thru a turmatic experience already that will no doubt effect the rest of there lives.


1. If you are going to end a relationship, and you have kids, it is your responsibility to make sure you do not cause them anymore pain than what they half to indure. So what if you have to swollow your pride and give in.
2. If one parent is involved with anything that could hurt the kids, in any way at all be it drinking, not thinking, cruelty, and the other parent does not do that. they should be with the other parent. I see it as if the parent who is not doing all they can for the kids, are using them to hurt the other parent!
3. I know a lot of mothers that have there kids, and love them more then life it's self. and they do the best they can to take care of them and make them safe. I also know mothers, that leave there kids with a sitter, and spend more time away from them, then with them. They leave them with sitters and not there fathers becuase it's not there time to have them, nasty way of thinking'' And who else does it hurt? the kids! I also know fathers the same way.
To sum up my opinion, There are really good mothers but there are not so good ones as well, just because you have given birth does not make you a good mother, there are a lot of men out there, that are better suited to be a caring parent. and seem to have more sense, then some women. People wether they are inlaws, social service, or the judges, or the parents them selves need to realize these are kids, with feelings and have yet to become the person they will be. and it is up to the parents first to make sure they are the best they can be. Kids today have a lot against them with society, they don't need there parents to add to what is against them.
And I am not saying all broken homes are like this, there are parents that both put the kids first, and do not use them to hurt the other. But there not the ones in question here.

If you have kids, do not use them to hurt the other, if you do not have time or what ever to be there for your kids, and the other parent can, then For God sake let the other parent take care of them. and don't fight over when the other can see the kids. The kids just may want to see them as much as they can too. Rember, the child is use to having both parents, it is heart breaking for the child to be cut down to one, and watch them selves be used as a wepon against another they love so much.
This is JMO, Of the childs side.
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Jun 30, 2008 10:14 PM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
Elvisfan
ElvisfanElvisfanChaska, Minnesota USA7 Threads 6 Polls 40 Posts
1htmma: The best thing a parent can do for their children is.......love and show respect for their other parent,


I agree 100% applause That is the Keywave
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Jun 30, 2008 10:28 PM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
KrazieStill
KrazieStillKrazieStillChardon, Ohio USA18 Threads 5,214 Posts
I'm not even going to pick one. Do what is in the best interest of the child.

It seems? from your post title that the fact she got a DWI with/child in car already is the sole factor in your decision process? jmo.


The ones that really lose in any divorce are the children. From personal experience and JMO.


Anyway, off topic. HUGE Elvis fan myself.
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Jun 30, 2008 11:56 PM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
Arlene101
Arlene101Arlene101Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia Canada12 Threads 4,845 Posts
twinkles1994: I'm a parent and I'm the sole caregiver. I feel that it doesn't matter if the child is with the mother or the father as long as the parent that has custody is responsible and not endangering the children. A good friend of mine is divorced and his kids live with their mother and she's making alot of bad decisions and I've told him he needs to file for custody.
thumbs up I am with you on this one. I never read anyonyone else's post,but she could have killed more than her chidren. I used to drink and drive but never -ever again. Nothing happen to me or anything like that, I just figured my luck was about to run out. I am going to bed now , but try to figure this one out. My g/f's son killed her son by drinking and driving and she was caught drinkin and driving within the next year.confused doh handshake thumbs up
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Jul 29, 2008 11:07 PM CST Divorced 5 years, Daughter 9y still wants to live with her Daddy. Mom has a DWI w/child in car
Elvisfan
ElvisfanElvisfanChaska, Minnesota USA7 Threads 6 Polls 40 Posts
sunshine79: Goose I could be wrong but at 13 a child can decide who they want to live with. But yes the divorce laws are a total joke. My ex pays his totally laughable support whenever he is forced (tax time) to and gives me the sob story that they don't have any money to help me with what our child needs. I provide everything for his house and mine cause if I don't he keeps the good clothes for instance and sends him home to me in clothes that have gone to church more than i have. So in the end I look like I am the one who is white trash and not him and his wife and by the way thats his version of Shared Parenting along with maybe a few hrs during the week and if I have been really really good and nice he might actually take him over night when he court ordered to do more. Just remember our kid will remember what we do for them and form their own opinions of the situations.


Hi there here is a site that might help.

Takes a lot of reading and energy but worth it!applause
Any way take a look and see what you think. Keep trying my friend

Thank you for letting your voice be heard

Elvisfan:wave
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Stats for this Poll

75 Votes
1,433 Views
13 Comments
by Elvisfan (6 Polls)
in Advice
Created: Mar 2008
Last Viewed: Sep 9
Last Commented: Jul 2008
Last Voted: Jul 2017

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