jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK12,293 posts
joelle2107: that's because your heart is too small...
forgive stop feeling angry, or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, or mistake.
Concise Oxford English Dictionary.
Its got nothing to do with the size of your heart, its a process of the mind. The amount of time that it takes to process thoughts and feelings depends on the offence, the cognitive abilities of the "forgiver" and previous experience that can be applied by the "forgiver".
By suggesting that forgiveness is to do with the size of the heart, a value judgement is being made about the "forgiver", akin to blaming the victim for their own victimization.
Its more productive to view life in terms of how you facilitate others, or yourself to process negative, or unpleasant feelings after an event.
jac379: forgive stop feeling angry, or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, or mistake.
Concise Oxford English Dictionary.
Its got nothing to do with the size of your heart, its a process of the mind. The amount of time that it takes to process thoughts and feelings depends on the offence, the cognitive abilities of the "forgiver" and previous experience that can be applied by the "forgiver".
By suggesting that forgiveness is to do with the size of the heart, a value judgement is being made about the "forgiver", akin to blaming the victim for their own victimization.
Its more productive to view life in terms of how you facilitate others, or yourself to process negative, or unpleasant feelings after an event.
For me forgiving doesn't mean forgeting, otherwise it would be an experience/situation where a leason was not learnt.
the human heart must also be honest and if the offense is such that you cannot find it to forgive then that's that.
It does not mean your heart is too small
It says nothing bad about the victim, and to say that the failure to forgive means the victim is in some way at fault is wrong. It is the one who needs the forgiveness who has wronged and needs to make up for that wrong in some way - hopefully completely
and perhaps be forgiven - or not - there is no obligation there
bohemianjack: "'Cause I hear the whispered words Within you're masterpiece beautiful Speak the unspeakable phrase I love you too." ~Leonard Cohen - There For You
Meh... shows how little I know.
"I hold my face in my two hands no I am not crying. I hold my face between my hands to keep my loneliness warm- two hands protecting, two hands nourishing, two hands to prevent my soul from leaving me in anger." ~Thich Nhat Hanh. Anger
He does not say two hands to fix, two hands to change, two hands to purify.
But, to keep my loneliness warm.... two hands protecting, nourishing..
maryrachelleBathurst, New Brunswick Canada1,370 posts
Forgiveness does not mean you have to let that person back in your life and have a close relationship with them.All it means is letting go on the anger towards them.It's too exhausting to hold onto hate.
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if you can not forgive someone, it's not because of her/his big sin..(Vote Below)