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Jokes & Humor Polls (635)

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Are you a democrat or republican or independent?

republican
7
23%
democrat
8
27%
independent
14
47%
independent you say? this third party is a joke.
1
3%
Total Votes
30
And the shit comes rollin in!...

View Comments (1)

Would you Survive a Zombie apocalypse?

Yea...I'm Ready axe in hand! bring it!
25
71%
I'm running around like a chicken w/o a head! Ah!!
1
3%
Hey look he's got food!! attack!
0
0%
Hiding under a table waiting 4 it to be over! sob*
1
3%
Aww hell... bite me zombie!!!
5
14%
I have a panic room to stay until it's over!
3
9%
Total Votes
35
Haha!! I want to see who's even thought about it! with all the movies etc......

View Comments (24)

Most likely to occur this Year- 2011

OBummer has a Nervous Breakdown/Vacation again?
2
6%
Obummer Re-Awared the Nobel Peace Prize+Fruit Pop
1
3%
Israel Lunches Major Air Strike
6
19%
Unusually cold Winter saves the Polar Bear's
4
13%
Charlie Sheen gets Porn on Prime Time TV :)
2
6%
Gays over the World Are Married/Except Middle E.
5
16%
West Coast Missile Travels around the World
1
3%
Health Care Bill Gets booted across the Mex.Border
2
6%
Lebron James quits the Heat B-Ball Team
1
3%
Oprah Has a Twin Lesbian Sister
7
23%
Total Votes
31

should i strangle stray cats to vent my frustrations or just smoke a dubee?

smoke a dubee
37
76%
strangle cats
12
24%
Total Votes
49
MMMMEEEOWWWWWW...

View Comments (80)

If I washed it, would you touch it?

Yes
25
37%
No
43
63%
Total Votes
68

View Comments (198)

ladies, do you want to have s.e.x with me?

yes, yes, yes :yay:
8
38%
definitely
4
19%
sure
1
5%
of course
4
19%
100%
0
0%
i want to do it right now
4
19%
Total Votes
21
i know that most of you would say no therfore there is no negative answer if you dont answer - make no diffrence - Silence implies consent...

View Comments (10)

What would you rather have?

A million dollars
11
16%
A long & healthy life
28
41%
A cute butt
0
0%
A bullfrog that could speak 4 languages
5
7%
A partner
17
25%
Mascara that never runs out
1
1%
A beach house with a view
4
6%
No wrinkles
0
0%
100 pairs of designer shoes
0
0%
Blue eyes that mesmerised everyone
3
4%
Total Votes
69
A little dig into your personality & where ur priorities lie!...

View Comments (11)

What would be your worst nightmare?

Your ex moved in next door
7
16%
You gained 30 lbs overnight
6
14%
Chocolate became illegal
7
16%
All your teeth & hair fell out
14
32%
Every time you spoke, u farted as well
10
23%
Total Votes
44
Just for fun ......

View Comments (6)

do you want IM back?

Yes
47
64%
No
26
36%
Total Votes
73
I miss it....

View Comments (32)

What's Your Sign

Yield
1
2%
Dangerious Curves
7
17%
Stop
2
5%
Hidden Drives
2
5%
Bump
3
7%
Enter
8
19%
No Tresspassing
4
10%
Parking In Back
1
2%
Slippery When Wet
6
14%
Recreation Area
8
19%
Total Votes
42
I always hated the "What's your sign" question....

View Comments (48)

One More Try - What Dance For The Obama Threads

Bunny Hop
1
5%
Can-Can
0
0%
Charleston
0
0%
Pee-Pee Dance
8
42%
Polka
0
0%
Rhumba
2
11%
Tango
3
16%
Time Warp
3
16%
Square Dance
1
5%
Waltz
1
5%
Total Votes
19
OK, it looks like the video embedding killed the poll before. Let's try it just with links (square dance vid is Bugs Bunny all you 'toon fans) One of the biggest controversies on Connecting Singles since the "Starling or...Read more

View Comments (7)

What should be the dance for the Obama threads?

Bunny Hop
0
0%
Can-Can
0
0%
Charleston
0
0%
Pee Pee Dance
7
54%
Polka
1
8%
Rhumba
1
8%
Tango
1
8%
Time Warp
1
8%
Square Dance
0
0%
Waltz
2
15%
Total Votes
13
One of the biggest controversies on Connecting Singles since the "Starling or Swallow" thread of 2009 is the question of the official dance of the Obama threads. While there has been strong advocacy for the Can-Can others have raised their voices and...Read more

What Dance To Do On The Obama Threads

Bunny Hop
0
0%
Can-Can
0
0%
Charleston
1
10%
Pee Pee Dance
5
50%
Polka
0
0%
Rhumba
0
0%
Tango
2
20%
Time Warp
1
10%
Square Dance
0
0%
Waltz
1
10%
Total Votes
10
One of the biggest controversies on Connecting Singles since the "Starling or Swallow" thread of 2009 is the question of the official dance of the Obama threads. While there has been strong advocacy for the Can-Can others have raised their voices and...Read more

HOW MAY GUYS LIKE ME HERE???

YES
0
0%
NO
3
25%
NEVER
6
50%
LITTLE
3
25%
Total Votes
12
.........HOW MAY GUYS LIKE ME HERE???...

View Comments (24)

HOW MANY GUYS LIKE ME HERE???

YES
0
0%
NO
6
40%
NEVER
9
60%
Total Votes
15
HOW MANY GUYS LIKE ME HERE???...

And the winner is....!

2 hours
6
27%
3 hours
3
14%
4 hours
2
9%
5 hours
1
5%
6 hours
1
5%
7 hours
0
0%
8 hours
1
5%
9 hours
0
0%
10 hours
0
0%
I never log off....
8
36%
Total Votes
22
What's the longest you've ever stayed on CS?... The Winner gets banned for 3 weeks....

View Comments (12)

Man of the year, only vote if you're drunk.

Assange
7
23%
Obama
2
6%
Mel Gibson
7
23%
Paws
4
13%
Stewie (Family Guy)
11
35%
Total Votes
31
Not to blow my own horn, but I did create the universe....

View Comments (26)

THE PEOPLE IN WHICH COUNTRY GOT THE HIGHEST I Q??

USA
9
18%
GERMANY
16
33%
AUSTRALIA
4
8%
BRITAIN
3
6%
ISRAEL
6
12%
CANADA
4
8%
INDIA
7
14%
Total Votes
49
I THINK ITS ISREAL THTS THE ANSWER...

View Comments (16)

What did Melton whine about being stolen in movie Office Space?

Toy Soldier
1
10%
Coffee Cup
1
10%
Favorite Pen
0
0%
Autographed Baseball
1
10%
Red Stapler
6
60%
Cute Girlfriend
1
10%
Total Votes
10
Movie Buffs....

View Comments (4)

For Women ONLY...

I am a women Posting as a women in poll :)
19
56%
A man that likes posting as Women in polls ;(
4
12%
I'm LBGT that doesn't know gender (:)
1
3%
It's oppressive to not post in ALL polls =
2
6%
Don't ask , Don't tell? ... ?
8
24%
Total Votes
34
Women Only......

View Comments (13)

What is the right religion finally, so I can convert?

Tomtoism
1
2%
Christianism
29
53%
Canarism
0
0%
Buddaism
7
13%
Wowowism
3
5%
Islamist
10
18%
Ghostism
0
0%
Jewishism
2
4%
Zeusism
3
5%
Holyballism
0
0%
Total Votes
55
I'm sooooooo confused man I really need your help, thanks for that! It's just to know what kind of animal shall be sacrificed on my Thanksgiving table...

View Comments (122)

Worst Thanksgiving table question?

Are you a leg or a thigh man?
4
12%
Would you like to try my breast?
13
39%
Would you please pass your cranberries to me?
2
6%
Will you both grab my wish bone and pull?
3
9%
Can I have my pie and Edith too?
3
9%
Did you think that the turkey tasted fowl?
3
9%
Do they mount stuffed turkeys like they do deer?
0
0%
Who's doing 'Grace' this year?
1
3%
Are the Lions on TV today?
2
6%
Do 'Turkey Claws' bring presents?
2
6%
Total Votes
33
Well we Americans survived another Thanksgiving and another Black Friday. So what is the worst question asked around the table that took hours of cooking to prepare and only minutes to 'gobble' down? You decide or share your own....

View Comments (11)

Ali110 is a

Excellent guy
1
4%
Good guy
2
8%
Lovely Guy
1
4%
Decent guy
1
4%
Handsom Guy
1
4%
Cool guy
1
4%
I love him
0
0%
he seems fine
12
50%
amazing
2
8%
Wowww...
3
12%
Total Votes
24

View Comments (32)

How do you view a liberal person?

Cynical,Combative
1
2%
Bitter, Caustic, Mean. Can't take a joke
3
7%
Least likely to find Comidy Funny.
0
0%
Easily Offended
2
5%
Only amused if they are the one telling a joke
3
7%
Perpetually single.
1
2%
Pro abortion, atheism and Lunacy
10
24%
Don't know
5
12%
Don't care
11
26%
Don't care to know?
6
14%
Total Votes
42
I can take a joke can you?...

View Comments (49)

Is you Mom funny?

She's totally funny
24
44%
She totally hate it
3
5%
OMG Always
5
9%
So so
10
18%
No idea
13
24%
Total Votes
55
Is you Mom funny?...

View Comments (48)

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