inthemind Blog Comments (547)

RE: Changed My Profile

Z! --- Duuuuude!

Okay ... way cool ... 1500 miles ... that's like a million in kilometers, isn't it? ... to a new life ... no small decision...

So nice to hear ... wonderful news ... and also explains where you've been ... also - glad you're sticking around.

Congratulations to you both.

RE: Dear all

Summer

Prayers ... can do. Hope it all goes well.

Ambush Anger - and one for the road

Okay... we'll wrap this up!

There are many ways we receive and release emotional energy... positive emotions and negative... they come to us... we accept a portion... and we need to release it... the good and the bad... there's a necessary flow to all emotions.

> The ways we learn to cope.
> The ways we are forced to cope.

and eventually (hopefully)...
> The ways we choose to cope.

Anger isn't bad on its own... frustration is also a form of motivation... if we can cope with it in a constructive way.

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Thank you for your generous thoughts! I think it takes 7 days before a new profile is allowed to comment so I'll see you in about a week.

I'll remove this profile tomorrow... and will start fresh... light and positive and happy... and no baggage... a fresh start.

Risky Business

Rose - You summed it up wonderfully! Thank you.

RE: Little respect

Today "has" been... (would be nice if we could edit/correct our own comments here).

RE: 35 & fabulous today!

Zweet!

35 is a good age ... as is every age I hope ...

Risky Business

Lazly and Shay -

Hmm ... a somewhat different opinion is emerging as the leader here ... accepting the whole person ... complete with the risks that come with them ... if it's right, this wouldn't chase you away.

Risky Business

Good Morning, Ed ... Sounds like "belief system" is good with you.

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Jim - Ouch! No, I don't remember seeing that one before... I'm sure laying on the towel made her feel better.

Oh, boy... and kids wonder why parents worry...

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funlaugh - Welcome!

A life of missed opportunities... yes, that's the risk... or at least 1 missed opportunity... But to conquer your own fears, which feel very real... that can be tough to accomplish...

Worth trying? ... Perhaps when "the one" is there in front of us, this is easier to answer.

Thank you for adding your perspective.

Risky Business

G'nite, Brazillian ... << Me too.

Risky Business

Sur - Some support and concern for each other but sure sounds like a lot to cope with in those relationships.

There's a certain about of 'dealing with it' that life simply requires of us. Would you choose to live with this level of risk indefinitely if she was the right one for you?

(Regardless of the risky activity involved... I'm just thinking of a similar, on-going degree/level of risk... )

Risky Business

Ed - "Equally yoked" --- Interesting ... I don't think I've heard this term. You explain it well!

A question off on a tangent for you... If I referred to your religion as a "belief system", would you be bothered? I've wondered about this in some of the discussions (on CS and in life)... the word "religion" seems to imply to people that they must take sides.

Risky Business

Calli - The right one is still the right one.

(Would you get extra life insurance? ... Sort of morbid to think about this but for some, I'm sure they have to consider it.)

Risky Business

Brazillian - << Can't turn down the opportunity.

Risk... seems different for each of us... and perhaps our own insecurity with the world might cause us to inflate the chances of something bad occurring.

With enough years behind us, we've seen and heard about enough tragedy... crime and drunk drivers and lighting on the baseball field... not to mention unexpected health issues and whatever else can happen at anytime, anywhere.

I've known some who just worry ... about everything ... like we have no control over our lives at all.

And others who have no fear ... for them or others ... and tempt fate and sometimes lose.

Perhaps the answer is to have a balanced level of fear... and learning some ways to cope when our fears become a bit outsized... your approach definitely has merit.

Risky Business

Papermate - One with experience in this area.

Any advice for the rest of us? "Don't ask/force them to change." ... anything like that?

Personally, I believe things happen for a reason... so your relationship had it's value in your life, but your lives were meant to continue separately ... And it's not that this is true ... just that this outlook helps me believe that our best road is the one we're on, as long as we're holding up our end by remaining open to new experience/opportunity. (Just a piece of my own belief system.)

Risky Business

Becca - Mind-bending ... I like that.

I like your words: "...enjoy every moment.Dont waste time fearing the unknown you might miss out on something wonderful."

Another vote for "accept the joy and know that life always has risks".

If it sounds like I don't know how to answer this myself, it's because that's true. When I think about "the one" and the things that would make her special... I would think I could accept something like this... but I'd want to learn all about it... to understand the risks and calm my fears.

Risky Business

lgs - A very practical perspective and one that allows you to accept joy when it's offered... and let tomorrow take care of itself, as I've heard it said.

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Ed - Fear of loss? ... Or just not compatible with that sort of temperament? ... not enough in common ... --- I suppose I could just as "why?" (that would use too few words... not my style )

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Brazillian - Yours is the perspective I think is most common ... clearly we invest a lot in our relationships ... the effort in finding each other ... the memories made (perhaps children to support) ... emotional ties that might run very deep ... it would seem natural to want to protect our "investment" in each other.

But how do you do this and still let them live their own life... do the things they enjoy or the thing society needs a hero/heroine to do?

(also... where do you see the line on what is 'risky'? ... being out of the house after dark? ... for some I'm sure this would be enough to make them nervous)

Risky Business

lgs - You're right ... have to keep it all in perspective I would think. Easier said than done though.

Tragic things can happen at any time, of course. But to tempt fate... if he had continued rodeo and that had done him in... It would seem that would be tougher to accept ... seems it would feel "preventable", wouldn't it?

RE: did I do the right thing?

Yes. You did the right thing.

You should respect his needs and you did.
You should attend to your own needs and you did.

He should respect your needs and he did not.
> Okay, he had his own needs to attend to but like Sur and others have noted a "Be back in 5 minutes" sign or something to indicate (for any who do not know his customs) that he needs to pause to attend to his prayers (without interruption, it seems) and about how long they might need to wait would be considerate.

Now... If it his establishment ... I suppose he can offer service or not as he wishes ... and customers can go elsewhere if they wish.

RE: What it is

okay... the pic came out rather small... here's a link to the site I pulled it from...

RE: What it is

Diamond - We have one of those!

At Niagara Falls... on the US side the view isn't ideal... the American Falls aren't as impressive and you're sort of next to them instead of across from them.

So... they built a bridge! ... Well, part of one anyways.

Basically it's a viewing platform that sticks out a bit from the US side... and there's a tower like the beginnings of a suspension bridge...

Our own little bridge to nowhere (no passport needed! )

The view of the falls is still better from Canada.

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Okay... made a little 'tour of the Falls' pic... a view from Niagara Falls, Ontario (Canada) looking back at Niagara Falls, New York (USA)... complete with (in my own opinion) our 'bridge to nowhere'

RE: Really?

Betty White - Now 90 I think. What a sense of humor.

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Independence - Knowing that you can stand on your own and don't require others ... and don't require others to require you.

(something that requires some thought but it's a good kind of independence and I think makes for healthier relationships in the future)

Good luck.

RE: What it is

Okay... caught up with comments and I had simply answered your blog.

Ang from LA - Apparently you don't have any blogs ... guess I missed something. But - Making friends fast, I see.

Anyways - Diamond and crew - My comment seems out of place somewhere in the middle of a p___sing match... I guess it fits a little, if you take a step back from the incident you're all referring to.

Have a good day though! ...

RE: What it is

Diamond -

When someone sees/feels a problem is near:

- they push it away, kick it away, yell at it, and/or withdraw from it.

<< or >>

- they step towards it, seek to understand it, talk about it, and work to resolve it.

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The first group reacts quickly and often roughly because they fear these challenges. They don't negotiate them well and learned to cope with them by creating distance between themselves and whatever or whoever presents as a problem to them.

The question I (always) have is whether to leave them at a distance or to try to bridge the gap and perhaps convince/teach them to be more tolerant.

I try to show and teach tolerance even though that makes me a problem that needs to be pushed away.

(yes, frustrating, but over time, perhaps some progress is possible ... I hope so)

Note: Your conclusion is sound. People facing this challenge push everyone away, sooner or later.

3 to 3, Bottom of the 9th, Bases Loaded

La Chica - Hi there

Any sport... when the game is close and remaining moments are few... and little chance remains... and one team is able to make the right things happen... to reverse the likely outcome and find success when it seems unlikely... really fun to watch! ... to be part of each piece of history as it occurs.

There are moments in sport and in any endeavor ... moments like this one ... that provide motivation and excitement and make us feel a bit more alive. So cool. Very

3 to 3, Bottom of the 9th, Bases Loaded

Music - I've only caught part of the Rangers vs Capitals game this afternoon... at the end of the 2nd period, Rangers we up 1:0 and the Caps ran exactly the play from your clip and scored (with only 5 seconds left in the period) to go into the 2nd intermission tied 1:1.

Watching "The Save" ... the left/right movement and radical change in body position to get in the way of the shot! ... really something to see.

Those moments... the "hero or goat" moments... that's what keeps me watching.

RE: Good bye to all my friends on the blogs.

Life comes first.

But CS comes second, right?

Hey Rummy - We'll be here and ready to welcome you back (from Choco's recent blog... no one leaves CS ).

Stop by and say hi one day... when priorities allow.

3 to 3, Bottom of the 9th, Bases Loaded

Hey Jim,

I also learned that the Bisons will host the Triple-A All-Star game in June. I enjoy a good display of skills and with some strategy rolled in, baseball is fun to watch.

Mets ... They pitched around (intentional walk for those not familiar) the 2nd batter ... a lefty who apparently has the best batting average in the league at the moment. Apparently your team's organization has done some good scouting.

3 to 3, Bottom of the 9th, Bases Loaded

Wow, Shay - It was hard to see the shot but bringing the ball in from half court and a "buzzer-beater" of a shot! ... A very dramatic moment.

A little extra fun in cheering for the 'opposite' team sometimes.

Thanks for sharing your memory/moment with us!

3 to 3, Bottom of the 9th, Bases Loaded

Hi Shay!

Rather quiet around here, isn't it?

Wonderful to see you! ... I need to watch your video... I'll be right back!

RE: Bad Boy vs Nice Guy

Beach -

Gloria - Thank you for understanding my point. We do have control over our character though many don't realize this. It doesn't change in a day or a week however, so many never try (or simply don't notice or don't believe it's worth putting any thought/effort into).

A classic topic on how attraction works.