thank you so much everyone for your lovely comments,
lonliness can be hard at times but i have my kids, zumba, work and coursework to keep me busy, plus have some very good friends to keep me company so i cant complain
@ swissblueeyes, you were one of my first to ever comment on one of my blogs when i first joined here 9 months ago so have always taken your wise words on board, thank you for being such a good friend, i wont settle for anything less than i think i deserve
thank you so very much everyone for your comments, i've just got back from a zumba class and was feeling guilty for going until i read all your wonderful comments, i only do two evening classes and one day class before i go to work so i dont spend too much evening time away from my kids........ my parents and i are not talking because of all this but these three hours a week does make me feel good and does de stress me from every day life as i do work hard and never stop, i love my children dearly and wish i could give them the world but relistically i cant so i give them my love and my support and trying to better myself so they can have nice things its hard being a single mum but i would not be without my kids for the world and i dont complain about my life, would just be nice to have support from my family instead of criticism
thank you sooo much everyone for all your wise words and comments, was lovely to read and has given me lots to think about which i will do, one reason why i love this site and doing blogs is you get such good advice, really appreciate it
@ oly, thank you for your advice and you are right, only we can decide what is best for us but sometimes nice to hear other people thoughts, ideas, opinions and life experiances,
@ virgo, i was in a 12 year relationship and your right it took me three years to feel emotionally seperated, i have just had his mum call me up to see how i am and to thank me for making her son happy and to thank me for being such a good friend her to her other son as i have been his hairdresser for the past year lol, it would have been my partners wedding anniversary today
@ vyoleta, i never thought about getting back with my ex but the more time we spend together the closer we have become but it is that worry of am i going to give up something that is good but with no promises of a future for someone who wants a future but no promises it could work out again
@ virgo, the guy i am seeing is going through the hatred stage for his wife as he was with her for 27 years, totally loyal to her and has given her everything, she has not wanted for a thing but she deceded she didn't love him any more and yeah i suppose after being with the same partner for soo long and then a female who is 14 years younger than him and his wife comes along it probably is a huge ego boost for him and where as at first we both said it would be a bit of casual fun feelings have and are changing but his scared i think of commiting again after what has happened and his done the bringing up the kids thing and his not sure he can do it again
@ coffee, are you talking about the comment i have just made on someones blog or a blog i once made ? i do know what i want and the thing is the guy i am seeing gives me the things i need, love, protection, companionship, laughs, excitement, etc whereas with my babies dad i used to think that maybe we never had much in common at all but i am enjoying his company at the moment and its nice to have a mummy and a daddy in the same house doing things together as a family and i know he wants the family life whereas the guy i am seeing said he never but his actions says something else, very confusing
@ yass, thank you for your comment, the reason it mostly did not work out for my ex and i was cos of his then 16 year old daughter making it very difficult for us but like you have said, she is now 21 and has grown up and got a life of her own, we never argued over anything else except for his time keeping but then he does live a hour and a half journey away from me so have to may some allownaces for that i suppose, i think maybe we have been apart for almost a year and both had relationships since that maybe we have realised what we did or could have had
@ iamwhoiam, thank you for your comment, that had crossed my mind too as where as my ex was on his own for 7 years before meeting me after a 19 year relationship the guy i am with now was only on his own for four months after 27 years and he seems to like the idea of being with a 35 year old woman and likes to show me of to his friends although his soom to be ex wife and kids still do not know about us but then my ex's family never knew about me for the first 6 months and it took him 3 years and a child later to even introduce me to his parents of daughter and i never met any of his friends whereas the guy i am with now i have met both his brothers and his mum and a lot of his friends and work colleagues
i met my now ex husband when i was 17, we married when i was 26 but we divorced a few years later i would say enjoy your life, live your life and settle down when your ready there is no real rush, i had my first child when i was 21, my last child when i was 33 and i felt more relaxed and more confident as a older mum x
i did move on and have found a really nice guy who i have been with for 13 weeks now, alan and i decided to remain friends which we have done although still get grief of his ex, he is still single
i do listen to what you say, admittedly not always followed your advice but your words have been encouraging so thank you for being there, i will take your advice this time, i am moving on, going to have some fun with my girls and go on a few dates and just enjoy being spoilt
i never wanted him to miss out on our daughter he deleted me of fb, i never had his home numberand he changed his mobile number so i had no way to contact him, ok i could have sent him a letter to his address but why should i have done, he had my home number and my mobile number and my address details, he also could have unblocked me on fb, my best mate was a fb friend and even she had told him just before christmas that i had been trying to contact him
just feel that i have done all the sleepless nights with the teething, moving her from cot to bed and getting her into a routine, plus five months out of her life is a long time and i doubt she will know him now, he will have to get to know her again, i have not been a part from her for 5 months and the thought of handing hter over now kills me, i dont want her not to know her dadm in fact i still love her dad and want her to know him but i dont want her to go over night now, dont know what he sudden interest is all of a sudden, he was too busy clubbing it last i heard x
yeah but that dont help 10k, your normally full of good advice
do i just hand her over, do i allow him time to get to know her again first as his not seen her for so long or do i fight my corner and refuse access after all he stopped seeing her of his own back x
thing is he went out and replaced all the furniture she has smashed up in her home cos of this he has called his sister shouting at her saying if anyone touches jaz (his ex) or the kids he will have them and yet when she was threatning me he basically laughed about it and said i had asked for it
just cant get my head round it, i feel i have no closure, the last time we spoke was thursday morning when he left to go to work, we were all over eachother,
i think your right, just hard to move on i suppose i text him today, could not help it and he never got back to me, instead for the first time ever he showed up with his ex to collect all the kids, normally they do it seperatly but i think she made him do it to get to me which yeah it did, think i need to move on but so hard
i know his sister and his mum and they were telling me all he talks about is me and how happy he has been his mates have said they have never seen him sooo happy he told me saturday morning how much he loved me and wanted us to be together, the reason he told the kids was cos he was so serious about us, we were really happy, in fact our relationship was perfect he is just scared of loosing his kids and he will do anything to keep hold of them, even if it means sacraficing his happiness, our happiness
it got worse on sunday though with his ex going crazy, saying she was going to smash me all over the place, i had to call the police out on here cos i cant have that at school which made him turn on me, he has now blocked my phone and got the police to ask me not to text him any more, he told me i cant contact him any more as she will stop him from seeing the kids
i saw him at the school yesterday and he looked down at the ground, could not look at me
my sister had a word with him and he is gutted about us and did not want us to split up but just keeps saying about the kids
i saw his ex today and she is well pleased with herself
thanks for all your comments guys, back to the drawing board, just thought i had found my match this time
one thing i will say is he defiantly was not sleeping with her still as if he was not with me he was at work or taking the kids round to see his mum who i also met and get on with very well, both his mum and sister are sooo mad at him, they say he is all over the place, she really has worked those kids against him and his trying to calm things down as she really has kicked of which means he told me he could not see me any more
she has used the fact that we go to the same school an issue but before she found out it was not a issue
your all right though as he has to learn to stand up to her but whilst the youngest is only 5 and she is using her and the other kids as weapons he has said he needs to put the kids first before his happiness, sod the fact that my kids have grown close to him
i am just soo upset that his done this, he kept telling me that when he told her that all would be ok and he got of at the first hurdle, thought as a couple your meant to work through everything together as a couple
your all so right....... perfection does not exist and sometimes we get too wrapped up trying to find our trophey boy/girlfriend instead of looking for that someone who can and will give us what we need its no good finding yourself a trophey boy/girlfriend if they dont want to spend quality time with you and is always prominsing to make it up to you or they think showering you with gifts make it up as it doesn't and your right if you get that to start of with then your get that forever more
this guy i am seeing pops round every day, there is never an excuse or reason to why he cant and he works long hours and has kids too who he has to see etc but he still manages to find time to see me and give me quality time which means more to me than anything but we both know and understand that we need our space too so we give eachother that aswell even though we see eachother every day, i can really see this lasting and yes the kids liking him helps, he comes round after working 12 hours sometimes and he has the dog jumping up at him, my 5 year old diving on him and my 15 month holding her arms out to him wanting him to pick her up and yet he plays with them etc my eldest too he talks to them and winds them up but in a nice way, its just lovely to have him around
hi hunnie i know exactly what your saying, i had my first tattoo in 2000 which was two hearts with two scrolls going through them on my right shoulder and i had my kids initials in them a year later in 2001 i had my yellow rose put on my ankle, a sign for love and peace and in remembrance of those i have loved and lost a year after that in 2002 had two tattoo's, one a chinese symbol with the initial m on my left hand shoulder, it meant husband but now i am divorced from him i have this tattoo there but i dont regret it one bit, he was my first true love and we had twelve years together with two wonderful children and that will be there for life to remind me of our happier times, i also had my hero's signature put on the base of my back, elvis presley three years after that in 2005 i had another scroll placed below my two hearts on my shoulder with sons initial five years after that in 2010 i had another scroll done above my two hearts with my daughters initial i now want another one on my hip in memory of my grandparents
tattoos are art and normally significant to the person, there not just skin stains tattoo's are not to everyone's taste but then neither is cetain types of food, drink, entertainment etc, its down to the individual which is what makes us all unique x
lol love the joke but your right i always thought if someone goes into the back of you then there in the wrong, just got to prove this now i suppose as i am not sure what his told the police the fact i never reported it must make me look bad or in the wrong though i suppose
that is terrible what you witnessed, there are some very carless drivers out there, i am always aware of who and what is on the road as i am alway transporting kids around so i have to be cautious, some people just dont care
@ living the dream
the damage to my car is not as much as yours but its still inconveniant to have to have it fixed, your right though luckily noone was hurt but his putting all the blame on me grrrr
@ mahater
i was calm that day as i was concentrating on where the house was and where i had to go etc, he came driving round the corner like a loon and as he went to drove past me io simply shouted at him to come back as he should have stopped any way as for the paperwork i was always told by my dad to never carry it around with you just in case your bag or car gets stolen so i keep my documents save in doors, yes i should have had it updates but when i moved in to my house there was alot going on at the time and i simply forgot all about it as for being furious then yes i am understandably as i have done nothing wrong and hate being accused like i have, not sure what this guy is trying to achieve as there was no damage done to his car, he damaged mine when he drove into me
thanks jodestir not sure what he is trying to get out of this as he has damaged my car, £150 worth of damage whereas there was no damage to his car, surely if he drove in to the back of me the police must see he was in the wrong, what an idiot not sure what will happen, all i need is to get a fine and points on my license
kas14 Blog Comments (165)
follow up from my 'dilema' blog
thank you so much everyone for your lovely comments,lonliness can be hard at times but i have my kids, zumba, work and coursework to keep me busy, plus have some very good friends to keep me company so i cant complain
@ swissblueeyes, you were one of my first to ever comment on one of my blogs when i first joined here 9 months ago so have always taken your wise words on board, thank you for being such a good friend, i wont settle for anything less than i think i deserve
@ morgenulv, you made me giggle