Sometimes saying less lessens the chance of hurting someone you don't want to hurt. People often ask questions that they "really" don't want answers to. But they feel they have to ask them anyway. And if the other party involved doesn't choose to answer, for however noble a reason, then the person asking the questions thinks that something is being hidden from them. Which might be true. But the wrong conclusions can be drawn from no answers. It is a sticky situation to be found in. So someone gets hurt either way. There is no clear winner.
All things worth having take time to accomplish. I found that each time I got hurt when a relationship ended, that I had to reach deep down inside and find the energy necessary to get up and get on with my life. It can be done -- but each time it will get a little harder.
Have a support network of people you trust and can turn to. People who will listen and be non-judgmental.
Every man should know when to recognize a woman with those characteristics. A woman like that has her life in perfect balance and would be a terrific partner in any relationship!!
I find that extremely hard to believe. But there have been stranger things in life, that cannot be explained through our supposedly rational science. Maybe that is one of them. The one thing that is true, is that a dying person will try anything in an attempt to continue living. And you cannot fault anyone for the attempts.
I find that extremely hard to believe. But there have been stranger things in life, that cannot be explained through our supposedly rational science. Maybe that is one of them. The one thing that is true, is that a dying person will try anything in an attempt to continue living. And you cannot fault anyone for the attempts.
Truly a sad story. But there are men out there who are like that. I would sincerely like to think that they are a very small minority of us here on CS. Now, you need to lift yourself up and try to close that chapter in your life. There are good men out there who are deserving of your love and attentions. Try and keep your chin up, be patient -- and I am sure you will find the person who is perfect for you.
He's campaigning!! Politicians always do and say things that contradict what they previously did or said, when they are up for re-election. For a great example, look at Newt Gingrich!
I think I agree with the essence of what you are saying, but my approach is a little different -- different in the way I approach the subject.
To me, life is all about balance -- maintaining balance in everything that we do. Life is all about balance. Where there is good, there must be evil. A balance.
Man, and woman. Roses and dandelions. Cruelty and gentleness. Easy and difficult.
Balance in everything.
I agree that you must love yourself before you can love someone else. And that you must have your mind open to all possibilities.
I don't totally accept that you go where life leads you. I believe that everyone has the ability to direct their life to where they want to be. Good self esteem and self respect also means that you are keeping balance in your life.
And yes, it takes time to achieve these things. Some get there earlier than others, some never get there. The important thing is that we must keep trying, keep questioning -- and keeping things in balance.
I know this next example I will use is a bit off the main topic, but it nags and worries me. The issue of balance we see all around us now in our changing climate, in our relationship (as a global population) to mother earth. It is not in balance -- and I worry about our ignorance at what we are doing to this fragile planet we live on. Balance must be restored.
So, as you can see, everything in our life is about balance.
What is everyone else felt the same way you do? Then no one would know what anyone else looked like. Not everyone male can be a Robert Redford. Not everyone female can be a hottie!
It's hard, especially when you have remained single for a long time, even more so when you live alone for a long time.
I think maybe something like that is more difficult for a man to pull back from. You get used to being single and alone -- used to doing things a particular way. And after awhile, the "getting used to it" becomes more comfortable than not.
If I was sitting in a bar and a woman came up and sat next to me, I probably would be scared to death and wouldn't know what to say or do. You kind of lose to the where-with-all to socialize -- and it is very hard to get it back, properly.
All the comments made are true. But, I believe that defining love is very difficult. Love is different for everyone, because every couple seek different things from each other. And all couples are going to place different values on each of the things mentioned: trust, sacrifice, loyalty, fidelity, commitment.
As long as each person in a relationship are getting what they need out of a relationship, and, in turn, are providing what the other person needs, then they will have met their definition of love and their relationship will succeed.
There are, I believe, many good men on CS, but, I assume you are looking for someone that shares your cultural beliefs and location. That will, of necessity, narrow things down quite a bit due to distance.
In addition, your culture places a lot more value on what we refer to as traditional values -- and they are lacking quite a bit within Western cultures nowadays.
Sounds like a whole lot of arrogance going on here as it concerns the person who posted this person back. And they are asking for way too much information, too soon.
Looks may work as an initial attractant, but everyone will grow old and good looks are only fleeting. When they go, if there is nothing else, than what good did the good looks do you?
I've made a few good friends on this site. I'm sure you will make a lot of friends. Who can really say if you will find Mr. Right, either here or any other social site? All things are possible. I think the most important thing is to just be yourself, be careful and cautious, and have some fun.
As has already been posted, both men and women lie, for whatever reason.
Sounds like you got burned recently. Do not give up. There are good, honest men out there, the same as there are those who are not honest. Be patient and the right one will come along.
Men actually do crochet -- and knit! Though I haven't done it in years, I used to crochet and knit on a regular basis. As a previous poster commented, it is a great way to relieve life's daily stresses.
And, yes, I also agree with the person who advised you to look for the instructions. Crocheting is actually very simple. A few basic knots and then, repetition, repetition, repetition!!
I agree that Putin has his own agenda and -- we will see it sooner or later -- and it won't be nice.
The US will not put in ground forces in Libya -- the populace would not tolerate it one little bit. Having Marines on ships off shore is pretty much standard procedure, so don't believe one can make any safe assumptions based just on that information.
Swiss, what you said is true. But, if you think back to high school days....there are cliques -- and you can't seem to get accepted into one of the cliques. And you see the cheerleader only goes out with the jock -- or with the one who stands out the most. It's simple Darwinism. Survival of the fittest. A female bird wants only the fittest male, the one who stands out and who offers the greatest potential for her as a possible mate. It's all about passing on the genes to the next generation. So, this guy is saying that he is Mr. Average, he doesn't stand out in a crowd -- and so doesn't attract any attention.
As you so aptly put it, jealousy is a double-edged sword. There is a good side and a bad side. The key to mastering jealousy, as well as most other emotional states, is 'balance'. If you can keep your jealousy in balance, then it can be constructive.
I have, many years ago, experienced jealousy. And freely admit it was due to insecurity in myself.
Many men feel that insecurity, especially is their significant other is very attractive. An insecure man will always live in fear of losing the one he loves to someone else.
That insecurity will also cause a man to always think that his love is flirting, always trying to run around on him. Again, insecurity.
It is possible to love someone and yet not be jealous, or feel insecure. But there must be trust between the two individuals. And the man must have good self-esteem.
Religion is a very difficult topic to discuss, as views tend to be very passionate on everyone's part.
In answer to your questions, I believe you would be best served to resolve all of your questions prior to a committed relationship.
For my own part, I am spiritual but not religious. That is, I believe in a higher power, but do not believe in any of the organized religions. I believe that they are all full of hypocrites. It is impossible to daily speak of religious values and yet not live religiously. You cannot go to church to ask for absolution of your sins on Sunday, then break all the commandments the rest of the week. Then start all over again on the next Sunday.
I do not need to be in a church, with a pastor and/or priest, or whomever else, to pray to my God. I believe in the gospel of St. Thomas, especially when he says that you can turn over a rock and find God, etc.
Is it possible for people of different religions to live together in harmony? It is possible, but I imagine it would be difficult, depending on their willingness to be tolerant of the other person's beliefs.
omgamike Blog Comments (44)
RE: Communication Without Too Much Communication ;)
Sometimes saying less lessens the chance of hurting someone you don't want to hurt. People often ask questions that they "really" don't want answers to. But they feel they have to ask them anyway. And if the other party involved doesn't choose to answer, for however noble a reason, then the person asking the questions thinks that something is being hidden from them. Which might be true. But the wrong conclusions can be drawn from no answers. It is a sticky situation to be found in. So someone gets hurt either way. There is no clear winner.