RE: United States to be broken up - Official.

I'm thinking, if it happens then simply divide one of the remaining states into three. Cost less than replacing all the flags.

RE: Sometimes I Use Big Words I Don't Fully Understand

I'm quite pterodactyl about it all really.

RE: Splinters are fabulous

Recently, I joined a group of woodworkers. We were all getting along fine, but then started arguing. So I formed a splinter group.

RE: The best laid plans of mice and men

Can I feed the rabbits, Lenny?

RE: Two summers in Yucatan

Isnt that where they get stuck into the ayuhoska or whatever its called...

RE: The Manopause

The other one thats good, is when she's front on to the toddler, like tying a shoelace or something, and you get to see a bit of boxing glove.

RE: skinny dipping

The way I see it my man, you have two choices in this world. Either you improvise a bit and make up the rules as you go, alternatively, keep coming back here and asking if its alright every time you get an idea.

RE: fdsfsafdsafdsa

I think he's written afdsa, where he meant to write adfas. It makes more sense that way.

RE: Found Love in my Fridge

If you squint and half close your eye's, you can kind of imagine her wearing granny pants.

RE: Found Love in my Fridge

Yes, one time I was sleeping with a pumpkin, she saw me making mashed potatoes and slapped a restraining order on me.

RE: Found Love in my Fridge

Whenever I'm buying vegetables, I always check for any signs of interference.

RE: Found Love in my Fridge

A bit of work with a filleting knife, a few minutes in the microwave, and you're good to go.

RE: Curtains

One day there will be a revolution, and all the curtains will be burnt. I'm getting a second set for my secret bunker.

RE: Curtains

Somebody told me its good when the rugs match the curtains. However, I have polished floorboards so all I could do was board up my house.

RE: Curtains

If you live on a busy street, you can have heavy black curtains with strategically-placed holes cut in them. Then you can expose yourself to passers by and do it that way.

RE: Curtains

I have white curtains, that I peer out of then shut quickly, just like an old lady on Coronation street..

RE: Curtains

All day long I think about curtains.

RE: Y'all may address me as Mic Guyver...

But McGuyver was clean shaven, whereas the guy with the pet bear had a similar beard to yours. Dont get me wrong though, he seemed like a decent guy too, and he's probably good with door locks and stuff like that.

RE: Question of my mind

No, but I'd make the effort to appear concerned about your feet.

RE: Talking To Yourself

Om the one hand it is, but on the other hand it isn't.

RE: Looking Out My Front Door

Some plastic cups, some flavoured syrup, straws... You could make a fortune selling that stuff on the beach.

RE: Dr.Clara Johnson

My best pick up line- I'm not a gynecologist but I can look into it for you.

RE: Dreams

Yes, I recall having a dream like that about one of my teachers when I was about 14. She really didn't like me at all, but I couldn't help smiling at her all the time after that and sometimes saying thanks under my breath.

For a mystery member.

Its a youtube link to a Henry Rollins song- Low self-opinion.

For a mystery member.

Hug me in a field of molten flowers.

RE: Nursery Rhymes Updated

Its always a good idea not to build up childrens expectations too much. So instead of "they all lived happily ever after", simply inform the child of road fatality statistics and suggest the driver was high on drugs when they all died in a car crash. Or in the case of bears, abducted by gypsies and forced to perform tricks like dancing on an electric frypan.

RE: Nursery Rhymes Updated

Then there's Goldilocks and the three bears, something about a spit roast and blowing all over the house, and substandard building materials.

RE: Nursery Rhymes Updated

OK, before we go any further with this, I'd just like to mention one thing I've often wondered about- Repunzels bush.

RE: Nursery Rhymes Updated

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water, 9 months later they had a daughter.

RE: Birthday Snogs for Pat!

Holy smokes Legs, I always suspected I still had the moves to drive the ladies wild. Cheers for the birthday wishes.cheers

This is a list of blog comments created by pat8lanips.

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