One day I made a nice meatloaf, but none of my friends would eat any of it. I thought it looked pretty good. It smelled okay too, well sort of.
So I said, "Hey, if no one will eat it, my dog will surely eat it. He appreciates all that I went through to make it and cook it."
When I gave it to my dog, he took it, dug a hole in the backyard, pushed the meatloaf in the hole with the tip of his nose, and buried it. My friends all laughed at me because not even the dog wanted my cooking.
I went to a nightclub one night, and this guy I knew did card trick for a lady there. He asked her to pick a card out of a poker deck and to write her name on it too. She did so, put it back in the deck of cards, shuffled them and gave them back to him.
He then closed his eyes and picked out a card. He asked her, "Is this the card you wrote your name on?"
She answered, "Do you see my name on it? No! That's not it."
He picked out another card, looked at her, she again said, "No, that's not it."
After 7 more tries of not finding the card she wrote her name on, he raised his hand with cards in it, struck it down on the table and let all the cards go loose. He then asked her, "Are any of those cards on the table the card you wrote your name on?"
She answered excited, "Yes! Yes, one of them is the card I wrote my name on! Yes!"
He searched the cards for the card with her signature on it - - - and when he finally found it, he said to her, "There it is! This is your card?"
She was amazed and shouted out, "Yes! Yes, you found it. Wow! That is so cool. It's - it's pure magic!"
Then she laughed and her false teeth came out, but she quickly put them back in.
Another lady looking on at all this happening, had no expression on her face.
I asked her, "Miss! Didn't you think that was cool or fun or something like that?"
She had no expression and said, "I don't understand what was exciting or fun about that. Now, can you buy me a drink?"
I immediately thought, "Maybe she's some kind of frigid, cold hearted Robot with no sense of humor and certainly no appreciation for magical tricks. Come on now! That card trick was really something."
That song "Let's go back to the room?" Did you post that for me? Oh my, I didn't know you felt like that about me. Now I'm all hot and bothered and blushing -->
I put a Big Hunk Candy bar unwrapped in a Valentine's Card, sent it to a lady. She got upset with me. She said when she tried to eat the candy bar, it ripped out the fillings on her teeth and her parcels too.
About giving someone something for Valentine's Day? I give Valentine's poems or cards or chocolates to ladies I know. Does'nt mean I want a romantic relationship with them. Just means I'm celebrating the Valentines Day.
However, one lady, I gave her a 5-pack of mini-hershey's chocolate bars that cost a dollar at the dollar store. And next thing I know, she was calling me everyday and and expecting some nookie too. Yikes!
Yeah, if I had a Forklift 'cause she was a bit heavy for me. I think it's all those darn Artificially flavored, imitation hamburgers she'd been getting from the mini-mart - gas station - liquor store - video rental - fix a flat tire - place.
Remember I told you about a lady who asked me to go over to her place for a dinner date, and and that she would shave the forest for me?
Well, I couldn't make that date because I was busy, but I'm still left wondering, What did she mean by Shaving The Forest? Is that like Mowing the lawn? Hmmm.
Guess I better look it up in the Birds and the Bees book.
Johnny, I took this lady to a sports game. During the game I went to get a hot dog and a drink. When I returned, she said, "Hey, I would've liked a hot dog and a soda too!"
I then asked, "Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want a hot dog and a soda too?"
She answered, "Yeah, yeah. I would love that!"
I replied, "Well, all you gotta do is go back there to the snack bar and order them. Take a bit of money with you, 'cause they're not cheap."
Suddenly, oh I don't know why, she got all bent out of shape and cussed me out. To make her feel better, I offered to give her my hot dog and drink, but she didn't want them because the hot dog was already bitten and the soda already had soup (particles of food) in it from my eating the hot dog and backwashing into the soda a bit.
Whew! She was soooo upset with me. I couldn't understand it. I helped her out with advice on where she could go to get a hot dog and soda. And what do I get in return for offering such a nice gesture? She cusses me out.
There's nothing wrong with men or women being a "softie" as you say. It's a strength all it's own.
"“Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.” – Dalai Lama
"If someone mistakes your kindness for weakness, that’s their fault – not yours."
"Being rude is easy. It doesn’t take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self-esteem.”
Not only men, but women as well, have to be strong and ready to lead as well. I know many women who are such.
maybe the 100th commenter should get a plat of The Mystery Meat Meatloaf they sell at The 3 Dollar Buffett. With gravy and mashed potatoes on the side, or whatever that stuff is that looks like gravy and mashed potatoes.
1. Finding a mysterious red phone booth to make calls from. 2. You like a guy who can play saxophone and wear short pants. 3. You like worldly news. 4. You like if I whisper sweet nothings in your ear, and then you say, "Hey, say something, you're saying NOTHING in my ear." 5. You like to Mountain Cabins.
Okay, don't know what else. I'm exhausted coming up with them 5.
robrt787 Blog Comments (2,572)
Whatever that meant!
RE: Comedy Hour
A lady tries to get on a bus with a big dog.The bus driver tells her, "Lady, you can't get on this bus with that big dog."
The lady yells back, "Well then, you know what you can do with your bus!"
The bus driver replies, "Yeah, and if you can do the same with your dog, you can ride my bus."