Hi Amy, I have been off and on here for a couple of years. I'm sorry he was married but at least eventually he told you the truth. I've been told you really don't know someone at least for 6 months.
Men do lie to get what they want. It isn't fair but is the truth. As a guy said earlier, it seems like you are attracting the wrong types.
I'd take a time out, just treat yourself good, and then try to see signs for bad types. There are good guys out there. Just like there are good women that are available.
Time will help you heal. But do think about getting another dog. It would be hard to live without a pet in your life once you have had one. Besides, your last pet would want you not to be lonely. ALso, so many pets need home.
I have a facebook friend who loved his beloved Doberman. He had gotten another before it happened by accident. Now the new Doberman goes to him if he cries, sits in his lap. I think it's amazing and he is really glad he has the Doberman.
The Dobe
I have lost 2 Dobes and I once said after the first dies, never again. But then I couldn't handle that either. I found another Dobe in my rescue group to adopt. I'll never regret it. Now I am on my 3rd. I intend to never has the crate that is hardly used empty.
So what happened next, did you go on a date or not?
I would not have liked getting that book because I would want to go slower with the guy. If he gave me that book and said we could check it out together on our next date, I would be tempted to get him back, then dump him.
I would suggest a public place and before the date, have looked through the book and found the hardest one for a man. Then say, that is what I'd like to try. Then close the book, and leave him with the book for his next date. It would not be with me.
Carlos, sorry, but lies are told by the one who is not right for you. If she was the one, you would not be sad. Find someone who makes you laugh, and not cry. This was told to me, by my Uncle and I have never forgotten it.
So get her out of your system, and you will love again.
Kick in the pants, bloke, you should have said hi to her. Look now at you, wondering. That is what it is all about. She was giving you the sign. I think you had it easy, and then got all caught up in trying to figure out too much into it and lost your chance with her.
Venus, you are too funny. I turned on the video and no sound. Darn it, will have to see what the problem is with my computer. You really cracked me up.
Gosh, I was prepared to say goodbye to all who wrote here, but now, I will be on a little longer. Someone sent me a note that was really nice. So I will have to see what he is all about.
Venus, thanks. It was always good to read your remarks. I will give Wile the Coyote a big hug from you to him. I hope you the best also. I like your new pic!
jamil, thank you for your great note. You are very kind. Yes, it is good to know where you are going. Though, I was chatting with a friend on Facebook, and we were kicked off - maybe for a couple of hours. So off to watch a DVD.
Could you say that, when your wife got pregnate by someone else, didn't have the child and wanted you back.
I would say, no, if it happened once, never again. Somethings likes trust are broken. What were they thinking of once they strayed? Were they thinking of the one in the marriage, hell no. So they get the boot of the century and you move on to a real person, not a two timer.
The Doberman
Besides, who wants a person back after they have done such a thing, you would be just posting a sign on yourself, kick me again, it feels great.
I would not worry about it since you are a man. Maybe something else is more important to concern yourself about and not judge us or bring the higher power into it.
"i did however tell her that i would still be there and if she had time and wanted to see me to let me know when and I would see if i had time..and now of course she is calling me telling me she cant wait to see me and hang out.. so whatever.. "
Well, Den, are we copying stories? Now he wants to come up Sat. Doesn't make sense, but we shall see. But I never see it as it was ever.
There is a bright star in the horizon, yes. I am putting energy into that. I wonder if you know what I mean? Can't say here of course.
Set the person free, they should not be loving you and you should not be letting them love you. Not right. Then find someone who you do want to be with.
The Dobe
PS. I think you know what to do anyways. So just do it.
I think the trip will be good for you. I just can't believe how back and forth she is with you. If you act like you really want to see her, she goes backward. But if you are more matter of fact, if you have time to see me, she goes into I can't wait to see you overload.
I think the stronger we are, then they are the ones who start acting like us.
Same thing happened to me today. He has sent 2 notes. One I could not believe saying how sorry he was for being too harsh with me last night, when I told him what I thought of the situation. He actually apologized. That is the second time he has ever been sorry. But it was too late. This time, I said, you should have never treated that way begin with.I want a man who will love me and no head games.
I do not want to be a fool. If someone told me their story and it sounded like mine, I would tell them, they just aren't into you. They are not being good to you.
We both deserve better. I know how I feel when I am happy with a person. I do not want to be trapped again and upset. Life is too short and there are others out there better. Why do we let people like this get away with it?
I had the courage to just say I'm tired of this, and this is not going anywhere. I am tired of hanging on to something that does not exist. Now I am sad, but also glad of the drama that has gone away.
Blew away my problem at last. No point of his coming to see me if he was not sincere. He was getting cracky. Said they great word, I told you we were just friends, not.
So it's really over. Good riddens. I just had to do it for myself.
You don't have to thank me, I am glad I could help. That is what friends are for.
You were also helping me, so lets say we helped each other, ok. I enjoy communicating with guys that show their real thoughts.
Den, I could relate with what you told me and you like wise. I think we both woke up. It should not be so hard. There should be joy and laughter, and even the other person wanting to be with us. If we aren't around each other, it should feel good to see each other again. Not the opposite. When they don't appreciate us, it's time to walk away, and close the door.
We all know when it is working and not. The wrong person will enjoy setting us up. Then when we back away, it is funny how they come back. I guess they get insecure when they do not have someone around their finger.
Life is too short to waste it on someone who doesn't really want to be with us.
Tonight I'm going to a lecture on "Smart People, Foolish Choices". I think it will help me.
Den, maybe that is what happens, we grief and grief, and then have to think of which direction we are going now since things change.
My ex husband, use to really care, gifts, flowers, handmade cards, and notes. Then the wall went up and all of the above ended. I hated every holiday. No one should have to go through that. I was struggling before the affair with him, nothing pleased him. So the affair made it very easy to say good bye. It destroyed everything. But I would have preferred him to have been a man about it. I do not think he ever realized the path of destruction his action created. But now I can breath again. Enjoy my animals, and my new life style. Still fixing one problem but that will be resolved. I too am looking towards the future. You have to.
Den, you did fine on your post. I know this sounds old fashioned but it is true, things have a way of working out and you will be able to love again. It's time that heals most of our hurts.
Sometimes, you have to step back and see what is really going on. I can tell you want her to love you and treat you like you do for her. But it doesn't sound like that is happening. The only one who can change is her by herself.
There are two ways to go. Keep torturing yourself because you can't reach her or let her go. Sure you will really hurt then, because that is why you are reaching out so much. But it will end the pain you are going through. Then you go into denial, grief, anger, and then getting back to normal stage.
Please keep on reaching out to us. You will get through this.
Everyone who has responded to you, will again. You just need to write how you are feeling, and then, you will get a response. You are not alone.
doberman3 Blog Comments (51)
RE: From single to married
Hi Amy, I have been off and on here for a couple of years.I'm sorry he was married but at least eventually he told you the truth.
I've been told you really don't know someone at least for 6 months.
Men do lie to get what they want. It isn't fair but is the truth.
As a guy said earlier, it seems like you are attracting the wrong types.
I'd take a time out, just treat yourself good, and then try to see signs for bad types. There are good guys out there. Just like there are good women that are available.
Good Luck,
The Dobe