Saturday she will be laid to rest. My hope is that whatever pain she felt in life, she has now found the peace she couldn't find on earth. I will say my goodbye to her. It will make it real. I can't help but feel this is all some cruel hoax and I'll wake up and someone will tell me it wasn't real. Reality bites in this situation.
On Wednesday, my cousin Sarah took her own life. I have been wracked with grief and just kept asking why. I've now come to the realization that there is no answer to my question. I don't know if that's the acceptance part of the grieving process. Lord knows I've done the angry part. I've also been flooded with memories of our childhood together, things I've not thought of for years. Remembering the closeness we had as children and trying to figure out how it was that we grew apart as adults. I am at a loss. It hurts so much that she is gone. I keep asking myself what if and wishing I could go back to when she was here. We can't go back though and that's what hurts the most. I keep thinking of all the things I never got to say, the most important, how much I loved her. So what now?
I'm a single parent. My boyfriend and I have lived together for the last year. I don't expect him to be their dad, I do expect my kids to show him respect as an authority figure. My kids have called him dad a couple times, but for the most part they call him by his name. He loves my children as if they are his own and I think that's wonderful.
Looking back I never would have thought that we would ever get back together. He tells me it was fate. I'm not a believer in fate, so I just smile and pat his hand.
I joined CS a couple years ago to find someone. I met alot of awesome people here, but the wonderful man in my life I didn't find on CS. Oddly enough, he and I were engaged 14 years ago and we broke up over a silly argument. He sent me a message on myspace and we reconnected. The spark was still there and we got back together. We've been living together for the last year and it's been wonderful. We have our arguments like any other couple, but we have a much stronger relationship now than we did then. We both grew up and went through all the crap we needed to go through to get to where we are now. I don't think I've ever been happier or felt healthier in a relationship before. I still sign on to my CS account every so often because of the awesome people I've met here that I consider my friends.
A big hello to my friends in the forums. I've been away for awhile. Things have been going well in my life. I am now living in Vancouver Wa. I'm living with a wonderful man and we are very happy. Just wanted to let all my friends out there know I'm doing ok.
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, rule #1 is yours also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process ofbreaking causes calorie leakage.
9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!
I'm just happy that her father and I can finally be what I always wanted to be with him. That's parents that work together for our daughter and not against each other.
His ex wife adopted her so no. It's not making her happy that my ex is allowing our daughter contact with me and trying to re-establish a relationship. He has informed her that whether she likes it or not Anna has 2 moms!
All my friends have asked me if he and I are going to get back together. We were really young when we were together. I was 20 and he was 24. We have both matured and are completely different people. Our relationship is that of parents. We haven't discussed the possibility of us becoming more than what we are now.
I got an unexpected surprise a few days ago. My ex who has had my daughter Anna for the last 8 years contacted me through myspace. I hadn't seen her since she was 2. I was in an abusive marriage at the time and gave her father custody. It was the only way I felt I could protect her. Well as soon as I did that I wasn't allowed to see her. The woman he was with at the time made sure of that. Well he sent me a message because my daughter wanted to meet me. He and I have been talking and last night I heard my daughter's voice for the first time in 8 years. It was so hard for me to not start crying on the spot. It was the most beautiful sound in the world to me. He and I are working towards an eventual meeting. My family is worried that I'll be hurt again. They are afraid that I'll start rebuilding my relationship with my daughter and then he will take her away again. I realize that it's a definite risk, but it's one I have to take.
I have someone touching me every night when I'm sleeping. It usually involves having my daughters head in my stomach while my son is kicking me in the back.
twinkles1994 Forum Posts (2,258)
Grief
Saturday she will be laid to rest. My hope is that whatever pain she felt in life, she has now found the peace she couldn't find on earth. I will say my goodbye to her. It will make it real. I can't help but feel this is all some cruel hoax and I'll wake up and someone will tell me it wasn't real. Reality bites in this situation.