xxLilyxx Forum Posts (3,678)

RE: What made you smile or laugh today "2" old one full

Nice one TC I must admit, a lot of people in that kinda age bracket, seem to be a lot more fun n down to earth than some of those in a slightly younger age group lol.

What made me laugh today was the effect these, strong painkillers that I was prescribed, had on me. Talk about away with the fairies. Even more so than I usually am when I'm on no medication at all

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

Or 'Hand'

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

I do apologise for that. When I explain things that I'm excited about, I usually sound like someone on helium I really must to learn to slow my speech down a bit. It would prevent some many people getting in a mucking fuddle over my jibberish

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

Awww fank you for not sacking us. We weally weally are soweee.
For being such a good boss, I promise I'll never ever piss in ya cornflakes again, or in ya plant pot I'll even finish off what CO started earlier

Although being honest, and to be fair to you, you may wanna reconsider trusting me serving behind the bar from now on.

Confession time! (Well, tis Sunday,just)
A guy rushed in the club the other night n asked me to line him up with our best, most expensive malt whiskey.
No sooner was I filling the glasses, he was downing them without pausing.
I lightheartedly said "slow down Sir, there's no hurry"
Looking rather distresssed he said "You'd hurry too if you had what I have"
I poured him another and as he knocked it back I sympathetically asked "What is it you have?"

"A quid" came his reply

So, I take full responsibility of takings being down

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

With Christmas just around the corner n money being as tight as it is at the mo. CO n I have come up with a bit of a money making brainwave. We plotted to rob the club. Purely to ease finacial burden.
We pull up outside the greasy pole nuts club.

"Now, remember the plan" I tell CO.

"YEAH, YEAH, no problem!" She says, rolling her eyes at me as she walks off to the club.

I sit waiting in the car patiently. Engine running ready for a quick getaway. Time passes. Five minute....then ten.......15 minutes later n I'm getting slightly worried.

Suddenly CO comes rushing out the club, dragging the safe behind her with it all tied up in rope. Closely followed by Mickeyscouse running after her............. with his pants around his ankles!?!

I looked at CO in disbelief and groaned "You plank! I said tie up Mickey and blow the safe!
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

It sounds like the ideal part for me
Depending on the length

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

Whatever it is you've got me on, it's certainly done the trick I've bounced back
Erm, just out of curiosity though, is it legal?
And, if by chance you do need to shove it where the sun don't shine, go gentle with me please

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

Oh god don't The gag reflexes kicked at the mere thought of gargling with it

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

I'm no good at comedy. In fact, I'm no good on stage at all

I failed my audition for playing the part of Romeo today,
All because of a slight stage direction misunderstanding.
The copy of my script clearly stated 'Enter Juliet from the rear'

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

Oh BB I have a terrible confession to make, I've gone all OCD on mickey's pole
I can't help myself, spit, polish n a good old rub It's that shiny I can actually see my face in it

Tis I who needs the occiffer. It's a fair cop I'm addicted n need locking up for my own good
Ok, well maybe just the handcuffs would suffice

RE: RECYCLE DO YOU?

Awww Cynicalorange I honestly think you've taken Sailfree's comment the wrong way. I'm sure it was purely meant as lighthearted banter, in some way. It's got to have been, surely?
I really can't see how she would make something of the fact that, as part of your recycling you chuck a few bits on a fire?
I can see how perhaps it may appear that she wants you to prove to her that you have a wood burner. But seriously, can you see how ridiculous that would make her sound. She seems a very intelligent lady, I honestly don't think she'd set herself up to look that foolish Like I said, I'm sure it's just plain n simple banter.
Hey, maybe deep down she's really has a soft spot for you? And it's meant in a, I'll show you mine if you show me yours, kinda way???? Perhaps?

RE: What made you smile or laugh today "2" old one full

Oh no Zell. What lousy timing. Hmmmm I can't quite make out if you're truly over the moon about it, or you're being typicaly British and keeping a stiff upper lip Either way, you deserve a hug hun

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

Noooo he's not deserted his post. I'm giving him a taste of his own medicine. I've nailed his feet to the cellar floor, handed him a bottle of baby oil n left him greasing up his own pole

RE: new to the forums

Hi There
Nice to meet you FO sorry

As Yash said, If you enjoy a bit of tongue in cheek banter, then drop in on woo's coffee shop. That's now been taken over by, Mickey's greasy pole club

Hope you have fun here and find what you're looking

RE: Jan's Wildlife Forum - part deux

YAY it actually worked lol

It might sound like a lot of flaffing around, but honestly it's not. I'm no good at explaining things in simple terms so I've probably made it sound more longwinded than need be.
Have a practice play around. As soon as you've done it the once you'll see just how straight forward it really is.

Hope it helps

RE: Jan's Wildlife Forum - part deux

I can try and help but it's been a while since I've posted images here, so could be trial n error lol.

First you'll need to register on a photo/image/video hosting site. There's quite a few free hosting sites available on google. Personally I use photobucket.

When you've registered, you need to upload the images onto the host site. The pictures you wish to use need to already be saved to a file on your computer.

Once the images are uploaded (This is on photobucket, other sites may be different?) it gives you the option to edit the image. Make sure you resize the image small enough to fit on your post here. If it's too large it will throw the board out.

To get it to appear on here, the image you wish to use will have a list of options

Email & IM
Direct link
HTML code
IMG code

You need to click on the 'IMG code' option. This will copy the image code for you.

You then need to come on CS, in the reply/quote box on here, you then RIGHT click, and paste.

A code should appear, looking something like this

[IMGhttp://i248.photobucketalbums132816_627361018_7391513_4022531_o.jpg /IMG]

When you post your reply, the picture 'SHOULD' be embedded in your reply. I stress 'should' lol.

If a picture doesn't appear on my reply, ignore all the above cos I've cocked it up lol.

If at some point you delete the image off of the host site, it will disappear on CS too.

Fingers crossed this works lol

---- IMAGE REMOVED because photobucket.com no longer allows embedded images ----

RE: Have you ever?

Nope, never. I'm lucky if I even know their name to forget it
Just kidding lol Seriously though, no I've never been that forgetful, yet lol

Have you ever used the lame excuse 'Sorry, I'm washing my hair tonight' when declining a date offer?

RE: Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club

HELP

The boss has me locked away in some hidden secret room in the club
All he gives me to survive on is dry bread, southern fried parrot and vodka
And he's making me do things for him. He keeps making me stroke his pole and massage oil into it. But It's so big, tennis elbows setting in

RESCUE ME PLEASE
BEFORE HE STARTS FORCE FEEDS ME HIS NUTS

RE: Have you ever?

Yep, all the time Aswell as going all the way upstairs to get something, then when I reach the top I'm stood there wondering what the heck it was

Have you ever been so tired, but no matter hard you try, you just cant sleep?

RE: Have you ever?

Sorry, That was to Dandy

RE: Have you ever?

RE: Big Brother May Be Listening To You

Ridiculous. Whatever next? Buses, trains? Where would it end?
No doubt fares would go up to cover the cost. Not only is your privacy invaded, you pay for the privilege

Like you said, nothing's unhackable. You'd have thought lessons would have been learnt through eaves dropping

RE: woohoos coffee shop

Oh I'll tell her. If tell her all her hamster blew up. When she finds out the real truth, then one parrot burger won't hit her half as bad

RE: woohoos coffee shop

G'nite bestbefore Thanks for the laughs x

RE: woohoos coffee shop

If he's listening, then yeah, it's HUGE

RE: woohoos coffee shop

All hands to the pump eh

RE: woohoos coffee shop

God yes, we're all about doing our bit for the planet here
But it wasn't the towels. I kinda over oiled his pole a bit too much. It was that I wrung out

RE: woohoos coffee shop

Sorry about that hun The boss was too tight to splash out on vegetable oil aswell as baby oil

RE: woohoos coffee shop

Jeeez don't mention sparks, he'll run n take cover Sorry scouse

RE: woohoos coffee shop

You'd best carry on without me for now, now I've been promoted to scrubber Eewwwww who was sick behind the bar