13. Oh no, Hun, it's perfect! I'll bet all the fashionable fishermen will be wearing hot pink boony hats!
14. Well you know something? This is just so cool that I don't wanna' take a chance on ever wearing it out, so I think I'll just leave it in the package and store it in the back of the closet!
15. Wait - Didn't I give YOU one of these LAST year?
It has always seemed to me that if you trust someone enough to love them, then you must also love them enough to trust them. This applies to love, friendship and everything in between.
Like Pretzman stated so eloquently, there is no room in my life for jealousy and I find it a sad commentary on the human condition that we even have the need for the word jealousy in our language.
Depends upon the subject matter of the thread and how much personal importance I place on it. There are times when I'll monitor a thread quite closely and respond to nearly everyone who posts and other times when I'll just let it stand (or fall) by itself. Hmmm... Kinda' like life!
There are two immutable laws to our existance as human beings:
1. Sometimes things happen for reasons that we can never fully understand or comprehend.
2. We, as mere mortals, can't change rule number 1.
The best we can do is realize that, as humans, it is in our nature to wonder how many grains of sand in the sea or how many blades of grass in a meadow or why bad things happen to good people. And try to understand and accept that by design the world is in a state of perpetual change and only God knows the answers we seek. All we can really know is ourselves and then only if we are honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception.
...I guess what I'm really trying to say is that, sometimes, there are no answers for us mere mortals and we just have to let go, and let God...
...Someone once said that, "There are times when, no matter what the attitude of the body, the soul is on it's knees."
My soul is on it's knees as I type this, Dana... Let go... Let God. (He's pretty good at stuff like this!)
For those who still hold to the custom of making fruitcake every Christmas, I have found a WONDERFUL recipe guaranteed to be the best you ever tried. Be sure to read the directions VERY carefully, then... Enjoy!
Christmas Whiskey Cake
1 cup butter 2 cups sugar 6 large eggs 2 tsp. baking powder 3 cups flour, sifted 1/2 tsp. salt 1 cup Bourbon 1 pound pecans, chopped, 3 cups white raisins or candied fruit 1 tsp. nutmeg AND... A very large bottle of good bourbon whiskey
First, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Assemble all of the ingredients. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink it.
Repeat this step.
Turn on the electric mixer and beat one cup of butter in a large fluffly bowl. Add one teaspoon sugar and cream until beat. Make sure the whiskey is still okay... Try another cup.
Turn off the mixer. Beat six leggs and add to the bowl, then chunk in the cup of dried flute. Mix on the turner. Throw in two quarts of flour. Gradually pour in the cow. Add two dried anything. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey again and check it for tonsistency.
Next sift two cups of salt or something... Who cares?
Check the whiskey again.
Now sift the nutmeg and your nuts. Add one table. And the spoon... Of whiskey, or something. Whatever you find left.
Cour another pup of viskey and spoon your mouth into some.
Grease the oven. Turn the crake pan to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Pour the oven into the batter. Throw the bowl out out the window. Lick the batter off the floor, being careful not to will the sphiskey. Bake 300 minutes at 50 degrees. Finish the bobble of whishky and go to bed.
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year. So drink up! Who cares that it has 700 calories in every sip?
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Happened to me many years ago. I opened my wallet, gave him ten bucks and told him to go get himself a good screw. Then I got my things and left. Never said a word to her, never even looked at her.
The_Kansan Forum Posts (3,395)
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RE: BEST WAY TO FIND A WIFE! (???)
Well heck, all that was easy! I just joined CS and waited a little while and she just magically showed up! (Thanks again Sqeekers and JT!)