Oh hey! Yeah, I express myself all the time. I just don't always do it with words. Sometimes it's with deeds, sometimes with facial expressions and, sometimes, it's with no expression at all...
But it's not where I live that determined these things, or even where I grew up - It's how I live and how I want to live. Or, more simply put; It's not the geography of my region, it's the geography of my heart and soul...
Thanks Arlene. Admittedly, my meager notes were consiberably more tongue in cheek than were Daniel's, but they were nonetheless true.
And while Daniel has a point - that recognition is nice - it's also true that sometimes we men do something for others just because it makes us feel good to DO for others and there's no ulterior motive behind it, nor thanks needed.
On that point, ladies - While we appreciate the attention and kudos for a job well done, or at least honestly attempted, sometimes it makes us uncomfortable to be given kudos and rewards for doing something that (as we see it) simply needed to be done. So, make the thanks sincere, but keep it to a minimum...
(It's not good for our humility to constantly be told how wonderful we are just for existing and doing the right thing.)
Thinking can be a good thing, but it can be over-done. Sometimes the best way is also the simplest.
Next time you're "alone in your thoughts" and you start becoming depressed, get up, go into the kitchen and fire up one of the burners on the stove and put a skillet on it. Then take your right hand and place it firmly in the bottom of the skillet for about 3 seconds. After that you'll be too busy thinking about how damn dumb you are for doing that to be able to think about how miserable you are being single.
And sometimes, when you ask us what we're thinking about and we say "Nothin'..." we really weren't thinking about anything at all until you mentioned it. Then we started thinking about how lame it must seem to you to hear us admit that we're actually capable of not thinking about anything.
But other times when you ask us what we're thinking and we say "Nothin'..." what we're actually thinking is: "I want a beer and I wanna' see somethin' naked!" but we're too embarrassed to admit it, so we immediately start thinking about... Nothin'.
Hmmm... Therein quite possibly lies the rub - If he were first in her life, then it would be easier to tell if she's first in his. Right now, it would appear that you are first in her life and vice/versa. And if that's the case then you're both stagnating. It's okay for both of you to realize that you can lead your own lives and still be there for each other.
It would seem that you are both climbing a cliff and got stalled on a ledge about half-way up. You have realized that if you don't let go of one toe-hold, you'll never be able to reach the next. She is still clinging to the ledge because she's afraid if she lets go she'll fall.
It's always a little further to the top than you think, but not nearly as far as it is to the bottom.
As much as it might hurt you to see her temporarily alone and stranded on the ledge, it's time for you to set an example and start climbing again before you both fall. She's still young. She has plenty of time to climb. You don't. So save yourself first, then if she still needs it, you can show her where the handholds are. If she's the kind of gal you've led us to believe then she'll eventually follow your lead and maybe even beat you to the top!
Funny thing about a heart -- When it's empty, there's no room in it for anybody or anything. But when it's full, you can fit the whole world in there...
In the end, memories by themselves make for a pretty poor companion. It is wonderful to keep someone's memory alive, but life itself demands that we must carry on and part of that entails finding someone to share the load.
If you were both 30 years older, it might be possible to finish the journey alone together, but you're not and it's simply not fair - to you, your daughter or the woman whose life you might change for the better - to live inside a shell of memories.
I feel for you, my friend, and I wish you all the best!
"For every great quote by a well known person, there are hundreds of truthful statements by unknowns which are just as true, but simply didn't get the press coverage." - The Kansan
Super! We had a CS picnic back in August to celebrate our 1st anniversary and it was lot's of fun - Would have been even more fun if more of the folks who signed up could have made it, but still we had a great time with those who attended.
We've been married one year, one month and four days and I still wake up loving her more and more each day.
10,000 political threads, 9,999 religion/anti-religion threads, 3,258 'Gilly's leaving CS again' threads -- plus all the same old same same and quite a few new members.
Yep, you probably should have... But you didn't... And I'm a heckuva' nice guy and didn't want you should cry yourself to sleep tonight or anything, so I thought I'd try to help out a little...
...A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I`m not a liberal Democrat." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" "Why I`m a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl.The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why she is a conservative Republican."Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too." The teacher, now angry, loudly says, "That`s no reason! What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" She pauses, and lets out a smile. "Then," Lucy says, "I'd be a liberal Democrat!"
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Randy standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and had small American flags mounted on either side of it.
The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Randy.'
'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this?'
The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.'
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Finally, little Randy's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?'
When backpacking in remote country, you should guard against bear attacks by wearing small brass bells and carrying pepper spray.
It is also helpful to know whether you are in Grizzly country or Black bear country. This is accomplished by looking at the scat or dung, both of which are easily indentified - Black bear dung is small and pebbly and contains seeds and undigested leaves. Grizzly bear dung is larger and cylindrical and contains brass bells and smells like peppers.
I've spent a lifetime not fitting in. I wasn't one of the cool kids in Highschool - I was the guy who ran a trapline and spent his spare time hunting and fishing. I wasn't the dedicated hell-raiser in my early twenties - I did my drinking at home and rodeo'd on the weekends. I wasn't a Yuppy in my thirties - I drove a truck and worked alternately as a semi-professional gun-fighter for a local tourist trap and as a living history docent for various historic sites in my spare time. And it continues...
Ultimately, I just had to accept it and realize that the reason I don't fit in is because I'm different than everyone else -- Heck, I'm even different from the folks that are like me! I've never been able to fit into any kind of established "mold" and it finally occured to me that it doesn't mean that I'm wrong, just an individual.
I'll admit that not fitting in does get a little lonely at times, but if fitting in means ascribing myself to the norms established by society, then it's a lonliness that I'll embrace!
So don't sweat it too much - Embrace your individuality instead and it'll you'll live better and be happier!
The_Kansan Forum Posts (3,395)
(These are from the cat!)
Here! Now hush! (And don't let the long hair fool you, I'm alllllllllllllll male! 
RE: About men, for the ladies
I read your post to her - She said, "With what?!!"