I have been told that the reason I get more stuff in Control panel is because of downloading. I surely don't do that a lot.
Recently I found; "Windown Registry Repair" Don't have a clue where it came from. Anyway I have it programmed for once a week. It will find 200 things that need repair. It gets cleaned of by them. For fun I run it again right after the repair and sure enough it found another 1--200 to clean up
I like what I have now Kenn, and would like to keep this PC Great idea about checking dates, found that some, Microsoft of course, has no date, most do...... Thank you so much for your help
Trying to answer you here. McAfee has found several virusses. I am only allowed one security at the time.
NO I don't want to buy another computer I like what I have. Getting messages from Microsoft a lot telling me they no longer update XP and that I run the risk of not being protected now.
Ken I am beginning to come to that conclusion now. Never have seen it there and had that side often cleaned up as programs showed up that were not needed.
Where do I find my security settings? I did several times a system restore, but have not clue when it all started. Do know that the trouble started today and have been told to expect more trouble. MS wants me to buy a new computer. I only do the simple things, so don't need a lot of the features offered now.
Microsoft net framework or extended, devise client pack download manager office file validation add in prof. office edition power point viewer user mode driver frameword visual c++ 2008 feature pack redistributable works 6-9 converter
there is the list of the Microsoft that I see
This is the list of MS that I see in Add or Remove. Microsoft is no longer supporting XP as of April 2014. I was told today that the troubles that I am now experiencen will get worse as the time goes on. Also am not more in dangerf for virusses because MS is no longer supporting XP
Thank you all for trying to help. There is no securtiy essentials in add or remove I have as security McAffee Trying to run a full scan today would get to about 60% and the computer clicked off Tried this several times. Can't highlight either it all freezers up
Here at Reboot we are offering Windows 7 Upgrades for your computer either running Windows XP or Windows Vista.
News Update: We have notice a few Windows XP machines that are freezing cause Microsoft Security Essentials has been disabled by Microsoft. Microsoft Security Essentials just needs to be removed for Windows XP to run smoothly again.
I am looking for jokes from, not hillbillies, not rednecks. They are in this group, not too bright........ Their names are French, not acadians, anyone know who I am talking about?
When a man volunteers to do the Barbecue, usually on a Saturday, the following chain of events is put into motion:
Barbecue Routine 1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine....
5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again:
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine.....
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11) They tell good old Aussie barbie jokes like: Question: What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Answer: A stick.
12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
When a man volunteers to do the Barbecue, usually on a Saturday, the following chain of events is put into motion:
Barbecue Routine 1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine....
5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again:
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine.....
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11) They tell good old Aussie barbie jokes like: Question: What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Answer: A stick.
12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought into set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit.. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house. Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth... but only if she would sign the papers that very day.
She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ..... and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!
Here's a little something to put a little smile on your face. Adults recently posed the question "What does love mean" to a group of children aged between 4-8 and below are their wonderfully creative, wise, inventive and innocent answers.
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” Rebecca – age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy – age 4
“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” Mary Ann – age 4
“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”* Lauren – age 4*
“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” Karen – age 7
“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.” Mark – age 6
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” Danny – age 7
“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” Emily – age 8
“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” Bobby – age 7
“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.” Nikka – age 6
“There are two kinds of love. Our love. God’s love. But God makes both kinds of them.” Jenny – age 8
“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” Noelle – age 7
“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” Tommy – age 6
“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl – age 5
“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy – age 6
“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” Elaine -age 5
“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.” Chris – age 7
“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” Jessica – age 8
A neighbours wife died and my little 8 year old went to visit the old man. I asked my son what he told the man. Nothing mam, I just sat on his lap and helpt him cry.............
Hilarious Church Bulletin Bloopers by Matthew Archbold Tuesday, June 28, 2011 10:04 PM Comments (37) OK. There’s a lot of serious stuff going on in the Church and in the world right now and I was prepared to write on them but then I received an email from a friend of mine about Church bulletin bloopers and I laughed so hard I nearly choked to death. (I’m actually not kidding. My wife came running into the room to see if I was OK.) I have no idea of the veracity of these or their orignal source but they struck me as funny so I’m thinking you’ll probably get a laugh or two out of it as well.
Here they are:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.. ————————————— The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus. ————————————— Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. ————————————— Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you . ————————————— Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help . ————————————— Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. ————————————— For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs . ————————————— Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. ————————————— Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. ————————————— A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.. ————————————— At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice. ————————————— Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. ————————————— Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. ————————————— The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. ————————————— Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. ————————————— The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. ————————————— This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. ————————————— Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. ————————————— The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. ————————————— Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door. ————————————— The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. ————————————— Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. ————————————— The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ” I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.. ————————————— The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus. ————————————— Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. ————————————— Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you . ————————————— Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help . ————————————— Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. ————————————— For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs . ————————————— Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. ————————————— Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. ————————————— A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.. ————————————— At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice. ————————————— Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. ————————————— Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. ————————————— The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. ————————————— Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. ————————————— The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. ————————————— This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. ————————————— Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. ————————————— The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. ————————————— Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door. ————————————— The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. ————————————— Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. ————————————— The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ” I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
This blonde was tired of being called a dumb blonde. She told her husband; I will show you, just you wait and see! I am going to paint some rooms today.
Several hours later the husband is coming home to find his wife all bundled up. Why are you wearing all those clothes he asked her. Okay husband you may think I am a dumb blonde but I can read! Look what it says on the can; Use two coats
This is still funny you had to have been there to see this taxi driver slamming his fore head thinking; "he got it"
One day I took a taxi home as I was going out to a party that night. I normally take the bus home, as I had no car.
I told the taxi driver I was going to a party. He asked if I had someone to go with me. I told him that I did not. He offered to take me there.
I realized I was in trouble, as he was not my type, nor did I know him. I was afraid to offend him, so said that this would be fine. Then he said that he did not have my name. I told him that it was in the phone book. “Oh, Okay” he said. I was now at my destination and got out of his car in a hurry, after handing him his money. “Wait please,” he said; “I don’t have your phone number!” I told him that it was in the phone book also. He proceeded to slam himself on his forehead as if to say, of course how stupid of me!
And he drove off. Sure wondered how long it took him. It still makes me smile.
A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down. Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one. I had wanted to send you some money but had already sealed the enveloppe........Love, Ma
britishcolumbian Forum Posts (894)
RE: How to get rid of unwanted guests?
What is the problem just saying hey it was nice but I need you to leave need my privacy?Get a backbone or people will keep using you.....