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RE: How do you tell someone Your not attracted to them with out hurting them ?

"Sorry I'm not interested." is all you say. You don't have to go into why, just do it with respect. If they don't like it, block them :-)

RE: younger men

If you are both legal age, mentally/emotionally sound, and both of you understand this relationship for what it is, what is the problem?

My Fiance is younger than I am and we are doing fine. I know a couple were she is 12 yrs older, and they are perfect together.

If you are not hurting anyone, live your life.

RE: How come...

They are in the international forum ... every forum except the international one makes the same complaints.



Young Alberta women .... It used to be the older wiser Alberta women that kept the forum going, but wasting our time on people ONLY looking for the young women helped us find better things to do.

Laugh of hte day

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

If you do not laugh at this, then you are seriously depressed, ...

Laugh of hte day

What does a turkey say?
Gobble, gobble, gobble . Not always! Here are some alternatives:

A jewelry-lovin' turkey: Bauble bauble bauble

A dyslexic turkey: Boggle Boggle Boggle

A turkey in the shoe repair shop: Cobble cobble cobble

A turkey who was an old-time movie fan: Gable, Gable, Gable

A turkey with a sore throat : Gargle Gargle Gargle

A turkey with a sore leg : Hobble hobble hobble

A football turkey: Huddle, huddle, huddle

A dieting turkey: Nibble, nibble nibble

A one-legged Cockney turkey 'Obble 'Obble 'Obble

A turkey who argues a lot: Squabble squabble squabble.

Then there was the Turkey who drank too much Wild Turkey and went: Wobble Wobble Wobble!

RE: Are law enforcement cameras an invasion of privacy?

Agree.

Those cameras also prove if the arrest was done correctly or not and how the suspect was behaving.

It is confusing when people keep posting photos of themselves in various poses and with or with out clothing but cry lack of privacy when a cameras used for security or law enforcement are used. confused

Rememberance Day

THE FINAL INSPECTION
The soldier stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.
'Step forward now, you soldier,
How shall I deal with you ?
Have you always turned the other cheek ?
To My Church have you been true?'
The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
'No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.
But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.
And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.
If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand.
There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.As the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.
'Step forward now, you soldier,
You've borne your burdens well..
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell.'
Author Unknown~

Laugh of hte day

Here's one that's as old and musty as we are - but it's funny all the same:
Paddy, Sean and Seamus were coming home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died."! Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella who was 145!" "What was his name?" asks Paddy. Seamus lights a match to see what else is written on the marker, and exclaims, "Miles from Dublin."

RE: So how do you like to spend your free time?

reading, painting, spending time with puppies, my man, and kids

Laugh of hte day

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:


1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA...... FLOOR.

2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?

15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
(This one took me a minute)

23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

34. WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, 'GUIDE DOGS ONLY', THE DOGS CAN'T READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND?

RE: hello all

“The other thing that we are doing is helping keep the guy who is here on a one or a two year permit, and transiting them into a permanent residency.” Fulton said, “The companies want to keep them here because there is a golden opportunity coming up in the north and we just want to get the word out there – we’re not trying to make money off anybody, we’re just trying to help them out. “But we hear also that a lot of companies here in Vancouver and the Lower Mainland are getting tight for workers.” She explained, “Part of that is that the companies are bidding on work in the north because there are some really big projects that are going to be built in the north. “Right now, some of these projects have just started and that is already starting to put pressure on the trades. “The other projected work is supposed to start up in the spring 2014 and then there will be some critical labour shortages.” At the moment, Fulton said there are numerous projects on hold due to the labour shortage. “It’s like an endless pit, once we get rolling it’s sort of like the chicken and egg thing. If we can’t find the workers, we can’t build the projects.” If you’re an Irish immigrant in Canada on a one or two year permit or if you would like to come to Canada to work in the many construction jobs available across western Canada and need help navigating the immigration process, Abigail Fulton of the BC Construction Association would love to hear from you. Visit the BC Construction Association website at: . Contact Abigail Fulton by e-mail: [email protected], or call (250) 475-1077.
By: The Celtic Connection

RE: hello all

BC Construction Association: ‘We’re the bottom line filling jobs and helping with immigration paperwork’ By CATHOLINE BUTLER VANCOUVER – The construction industry in western Canada is experiencing a critical shortage of skilled tradespeople in all sectors. In order to attract more foreign skilled tradespeople, the British Columbia Construction Association has organized the Western Canada Construction Job Expo in Ireland this Fall. Abigail Fulton, vice president with the BC Construction Association, is co-ordinating over 50 participating Canadian construction employers from across western Canada. They will be in Belfast on October 31 and Dublin on November 2 in search of skilled tradespeople who would like to relocate to western Canada. In January 2013 the Government of Canada launched the Federal Skilled Trades Program to facilitate the immigration of skilled tradespeople who meet Canada’s current and evolving economic needs. Fulton recently spoke to The Celtic Connection about how the new program might impact the local construction industry. “To be honest the Federal Skilled Trades Program won’t have much effect on anything,” she said. “What the Federal Government is trying to do is be a little more responsive to what the demand is. “In the past, if you were applying yourself without a job to get into Canada, you had to have so many points. To really make those points, you had to be a lawyer, a doctor, an engineer or something like that, it was very difficult for a tradesperson. “They have identified this program to make it more responsive to tradespeople so that you can get into Canada as a tradesperson. “However, there is still paperwork to jump through, there is still a queue and a quota, and only so many will get in, but it’s another avenue now that we didn’t have before to bring people into Canada.” Fulton explained her role with the BC Construction Association saying, “We’re the bottom line with regard to filling the job, that’s what we are all about....identifying the job and getting a match with somebody offshore and filling the job here, and we help with that immigration process.” She said her association will certainly make use of the Federal Skills Program, but “we still have our Provincial Nominee Program in BC, which is really, really effective and the quota is not used up there. So, we will make use of whatever angles are provided.” The biggest hurdle for most foreign workers and construction companies to overcome is the paperwork according to Fulton. She said, “bottom line for us is providing that assistance for the individual and the company because that’s the real barrier – the paper work and immigration laws. “It’s a real barrier for the construction industry because the employer doesn’t know how to get through the immigration process and the individual doesn’t know either, so we are trying to be that in between to make sure it happens. “If you have ever gone on the Federal Immigration site, it’s like a maze. I’m a lawyer and I’m lost, it’s like what’s going on here – it’s a nightmare.” Speaking about the Western Canada Construction Job Expo in Ireland, Fulton said, “We have sign ups for 50 so far and registration for individuals in Ireland should open in early September. “But, they can send us their CV in advance and we can let them know if we have a job for them, because we don’t want to waste anyone’s time. “A lot of construction companies already have a lot of Irish working for them because so many of the Irish have come over on the International Experience Canada Work Permit and a lot of those emigrants are working in the industry. “We keep hearing from the companies that they are very pleased with the Irish workers and they keep asking for more and more.

RE: What is your Turkey Name?

Bam-Bam Silly-Tail

RE: Love is dead.

uugh .... confused ook

RE: "The Question Game"

It's terrible compared to what it was back when I was a kid.

At a food court, what is your favorite food to get?


(JMO New York Fries)

RE: "The Question Game"

Personal choice ... I would have a problem myself eating something I killed, but I have eaten what relatives and friends and hunted and killed.

The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?

Laugh of hte day

Children Are Quick
____________________________________

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria..
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as
your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

RE: hello all

RE: Not enough men in the Canadian Forums.

Not into sports myself, but the ole man likes to go to games once in a while. Sometimes you just do things because your partner likes it. There were some good fights during the game. boxing

RE: Not enough men in the Canadian Forums.

Activity goes through stages here. It's either super busy or as quiet as a morgue. When winter hits, it usually warms up in the forums.

RE: Not enough men in the Canadian Forums.

We went to the Oil Kings Hockey game ... good game. Can guarantee it was more fun than fixing a car in a cold garage. grin

RE: ALL SINGLE LADIES, Stop saying you should just give up and get a cat!

It was so funny I forgot to laugh ... confused

Laugh of hte day

rolling on the floor laughing

Laugh of hte day

I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar.

Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"

One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"

So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland ?"

And that's the last thing I remember.

Laugh of hte day

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and, according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

Lemon Squeeze

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'

The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'

The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'

The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'

The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'

The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'


Catholic Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya be saying a mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?'

Donation

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'

'He will.'

Laugh of hte day

Confession

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old . . . . I'm telling everybody!'

Laugh of hte day

Brothel Trip

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

'I'm 90 years old,' he says.

'90?' replies the woman, 'Don't you realize you've had it?'

'Oh, sorry,' says the old man, 'How much do I owe you?'

Senility

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.'

'That's not senility,' replied the doctor, 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'

Laugh of hte day

Pest Control

A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him into the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and, after a search of the bedroom, discovered the man in the closet. 'Who are you?' he asked him.

'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.

'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.

'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.

'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards!'

Laugh of hte day

Marriage Humor

Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband: 'Nothing.'

Wife: 'Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

-------------------------------

Wife: 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

--------------------------------------------------------
Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries and troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

------------------------------
Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

________________________________

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

Laugh of hte day

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

This is a list of forum posts created by KHD100.

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