The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini with two flat tires..
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . . .
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman:" Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp...."
Doctor:"I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle".
2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.
Woman:" Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never touched me.
Doctor:" you see how keeping your mouth shut helps!!!"
Usually the gatherings are done when a set date and location are set. That is how some singles in Edmonton met up. Some of us were supposed to have a pizza night, but life got in the way.
Eyes, Gordo and I met up because I was in Whitehorse.
One group I was with before had a dance night at one of the lounges and others have had bowling or pizza night. Sorry no one has responded because a couple of people I know met at these met nights and are now couples.
Hope some of the singles in Calgary do met up. Making new friends can do a lot for a person. :-)
Depends on the situation. I don't throw things. You never know if they will get thrown back at you. My daughter had a habit of leaving things around. I threw her slipper at her once after tripping on it again. (it did not hit her, and I had no intention of it hitting her) She threw it back at me. :-)
There have been times I yell, but more at my kids when I am fed up with the mess left behind or thing not getting done. Lasts about 5 minutes if possible, then I talk to them calmly.
If I am quiet when mad, it means I am trying to figure something out, or the other person has just gone too far and I need a break. I keep my mouth shut, because I could make the situation worse by what I might say. It would not be very pleasant. Calming down before talking is best is my case ... I've seen too many speak when mad and thing said can not be taken back. A bruise fades, but the spoken word sticks forever. JMO
Rally will protest province's funding cuts to the disabled
Local organizations that support people with disabilities want Edmontonians to bring their empathy and empties to a mock bottle drive this week.
The group, also made up of affected families, hopes to raise $2.8 million to turn over to the Alberta government to make up for funding cuts that they say will severely impact the province's most vulnerable citizens.
Of course they don't actually expect to raise millions, said Bill Moore-Kilgannon, executive director for Public Interest Alberta.
Instead, they hope to put on a unique rally that will prompt the government to reverse the decision it made before Christmas to force agencies to cut $2.8 million from their budgets, effective this month.
"People are very, very angry," Moore-Kilgannon said. "Families have been struggling for years to find programs as it is and to have the government turn around and cut programs, it's kind of the last straw."
The bottle drive idea comes from the fact that the government reversed its decision last summer to raise liquor taxes and collect an additional $180 million, which could've gone to funding for people with disabilities.
"That's about a 10 cents saving on a bottle of beer," Moore-Kilgannon said. "It's important to get that big picture for people."
A similar event was held in Calgary recently featuring a mock bake sale with $10,000 cupcakes.
"One of the things I'm really frustrated with is the minister keeps saying this won't affect services. That's simply not accurate," said Wendy McDonald, president of the Alberta Association for Community Living and mother of a 15-year-old son with disabilities. "We're already seeing services that are already being reduced. The other thing that's happened is agencies are pulling back service now in anticipation of what the budget cut might be in April."
Although funding to children with disabilities isn't being cut, McDonald said she fears for her son's future.
A spokesman for the Department of Seniors and Community Supports said the government is working to ensure cuts don't affect people supported by programs. They plan to focus on slashing administration costs and attempt to use resources more wisely, encouraging a support worker to take two clients on a trip rather than one, for example, spokesman Dan Laville said.
The bottle drive will take place Thursday at 7 p.m. at McDougall United Church, 10025 101 Street.
ALYSSA.NOEL@SUNMEDIA.CA
The groups working with people with disabilities were given money from the government, and now the government is saying they have a deposit (arrears) and now need those groups to find the money and give it to the government. These are non profit groups that have to raise their own money. The money that was given to these groups was to pay for the people looking after the adults with disabilities.
It was suggested that these programs shut down for 1 day a week, or 1 whole week to save money, but where do these adults go??? Now figure this one out, if the clients are not in the programs, they have to stay home or in the residence. Parents work, so who stays home, and in the residence's, the same group that pays the workers in the programs, pays the people that are care takers in the residences. During the day, most residences are closed. Where will the money come from to pay caretakers to look after the clients .... DUH the same idiots asking for the money back and asking these places to cut back.
Some places have already said they have to shut down if this happens. What happens to those clients??? Especially the ones with no family to look after them? or their families are not able to look after them?
How many of you think these same political morons are going to show up at the Olympics at our expense? and are enjoying their own loverly large Christmas bonus's, and raises???
Never you mind what some one says about your poems. Many a great poets came from Ireland.
Famous Quote.... To be Irish will break your heart!
Scar... the one teacher who got me to like poetry, was Seamus Heaney's younger brother. About 11 yrs ago I was able to get a Seamus Heaney's poetry book. "A field of work" ... Great poems. :-)
Miss scenes like this ever since moving back to the city. You can not imagine how beautiful it is ... with a full moon full moon, nothing can compare.
Have not driven with the lights out when going to Whitehorse with Brian, but have seen it, when we were stopped. Wish everyone could experience what Loner is writing about.
Been reading some of the " A Decade" or " a Year in Review" articles.
Even seeing which celebs passed away was an eye opener ... people we (my generation) watched as we grew up, or as adults have passed away. I think I know how my parents feel now when they see those reviews. Sure makes me feel like life is going fast ... even age is creeping in. :-)
Posting this as an FYI. Had not realized so many of the actors from my generation had passed on.
Edmonton Sun made it sound to negative ... but even though it felt so negative, for so many, it was a decade of major changes. Some for the good, some for the bad.
When in Belgium, you celebrate two Santa Clauses: St. Nicholas, the Santa that spies on children to sort them into naughty and nice; and Pere Noel, who does all the Christmas delivery work.
In Brazil, it's believed that Santa lives in Greenland, that the shepherds that sought out Jesus were actually women, and that the animals in the manger spoke when Jesus was born.
The oldest Christmas tradition in Estonia takes place on Christmas Eve when the whole family goes to visit the sauna together.
In Latvia, "Big Zimmer," the Latvian Santa Claus, brings presents not on just one day, but 12 days in a row. It's also here in Latvia that the Christmas tree tradition was first celebrated, although the holiday doesn't celebrate Jesus, but the re-birth of the Sun Maiden.
In the town of Urbania, Italy, an ugly witch named La Befana parades around town on her broomstick bringing gifts to children on Christmas Day. The tradition is believed to have come from the Vatican - who couldn't prove the existence of Santa Claus so decided to tell children that it was witches that delivered the presents.
During the Middle Ages, boar's head was known as a traditional Christmas dish. The custom began when a bear attacked a student who saved himself by forcing Aristotle's books into the bear's mouth. The bear choked to death and the student cut off his head and brought it back to college.
In coastal towns like Brighton and in London's Serpentine Lake in England, many communities take part in a Christmas Day swim in frigid waters.
On Christmas Eve in Remedios, Cuba, locals celebrate Parrandas, a religious festival remembering the priests who would send altar boys into the streets to bang on pots and pans to awaken the townspeople for mass at midnight.
Bring your roller skates to Caracas, Venezuela, where they block the streets on Christmas Eve so that locals can roller-skate to church for Christmas service.
Don't swat the tree in Ukraine, where a fake spider and spider's web are placed on Christmas trees for decoration. It is believed that a spider web found on Christmas morning is a sign of good luck for the coming year.
On Christmas Eve in Norway, all the brooms in the house are hidden because it was believed that witches and evil spirits would come out on this night to steal their brooms for riding.
Make a wish when stirring in all the ingredients for Christmas pudding in England - but it will only come true if you stir in a clockwise direction.
In Japan, it's considered bad luck to give red Christmas cards or envelopes as funeral notices are usually written in red.
In Italy, locals celebrate Christmas - not by decorating a Christmas tree with tinsel and ornaments - but by decorating small wooden pyramids with fruit.
Learned about what I could get done last year, and even though so many things did not get put up, etc, spending that time helping my parents was the best thing.
This year, it was a client who took a liking to a very silly springing Christmas hat from the Dollar store, laughing and was so happy when he got to take the hat home. Watching him walk down the ramp shaking his head to make the ball on the end of the hat wiggle, and him smiling the whole time. That was a Christmas present to me ... that young man's laughter, and the look on his face when he put on the hat.
February 19 - March 20: People will value your sensitivity and spirituality, especially when it is used to help nurture and heal. The Year of the Tiger is a year of growth, progress, kindness, and intelligence. If you behave in compassionate and empathic ways, then others will understand exactly where you are coming from and will help you pursue whatever you aspire towards. You may become obsessed with fantasies. Don't place anyone up on a pedestal where they may be out of reach. Anyone would be lucky to be with someone as sensitive, kind, and intuitive as you are.
- Love: Don’t over-idealize lovers or gloss over average people as you could overlook true love.
- Money: Only give money to those you trust the most. Avoid get-quick-rich schemes lest problems result.
-Health: Stick with the tried-and-true and natural wherever possible. Avoid alcohol or mind-altering substances.
- Season: Winter and spring.
-What you should strive for: Be a little bit more consistent and grounded. Share your empathy with those who would be as empathic towards you in return.
- Fashion: Favour oceanic and light colours and natural flowing fabrics.
- Your lucky numbers: 1, 2, 9, 11, 12, 13, and 25.
December 22 - January 19: Last year you felt the need to work long and hard and strive towards what you felt was your proper place in both your professional and personal lives. This year you may not have to work so hard. Whatever you did last year will have paid off and you’ll definitely be reaping what you sow in 2010. Try not to put work before loved ones as you may have a tendency to. The Year of the Tiger will showcase the importance of relationships and fun in life. Relax and enjoy friends and family. You’ve earned a vacation.
- Love: Try to value your loved ones as much as you’ve pretended to in the past and deeper feelings may result.
- Money: Don’t let work get in the way of love. Don’t burn the candle at both ends-You may have a tendency to overwork yourself.
-Health: Don’t overwork yourself as there is a chance you could become overly stressed through not taking the time to relax.
- Season: Winter
- What you should strive for: Things don’t always have to be about goals/ prestige. Savour the smaller things and you’ll see what’s really important.
- Fashion: Try to wear strong colours and earth tones and you’ll feel at your strongest. Softer colours may help bring a softer attitude.
- Your lucky numbers: 1, 10, 11, 19, 29, 38, and 47.
KHD100 Forum Posts (2,495)
For the Women who want to get back at men !!
Garage DoorThe boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini with two flat tires..