completenutter Forum Posts (11)

RE: What would u like to get off ur chest..

Thanks Deedee I hope he materialises very soon!!!

RE: What would u like to get off ur chest..

Thanks Deedee, honest though I talked to 25 guys in 3 days and they ALL wanted kids. I'm wondering if I should be rejecting guys on this basis or not at this point.

RE: What would u like to get off ur chest..

Everybody I talk to in my area wants kids!! I have 3 kids, and after raising them alone for the last 14 years, I'm ready for some other activities. The men I talk to are my age, in their early 40's, but every one I ask says they want kids, or more kids. it seems like every relationship I have had in 14 years has ended because I am at a different stage to my partner. Including my last.

RE: Dating a Widow or Widower

Not all kids would object to have a replacement.
I had to be very wary, because my kids formed attachments to men very easily. Remember their Father was gone, not living elsewhere. They missed having a Father figure. I ended up never letting them spend time with my boyfriends. I compartmentalized my mother role separate to my partner role. I do think this is wise in the first year or two, or until you are ready to make a commitment. So they are not hurt, if things don't work out.
Unfortunately for me, I never got to the next stage with anyone.

RE: Dating a Widow or Widower

Men often get over their previous relationship by getting involved again. Personally I would take a chance and get involved, just move slowly from one stage to the next, and listen carefully to what he is saying, and what he feels ready for. Speaking from my experience as a widow.

RE: Dating a Widow or Widower

I don't agree, it isn't depression, it is grief. Divorcing is very different from being widowed.
In a divorce you know the relationship for whatever reason did not work, and that person is alive somewhere.
When you are widowed, that person you might have loved and been loved by is ripped clean out of your life, leaving only memories to hold on to. It is devastating in it's complete overnight loss, and I don't think people 'get over it' but they learn to live with it.
To answer your question is it possible to have a relationship with a widow who seems still deeply invested in her past relationship, I believe yes it is. Understanding that the widow loves and misses her previous partner, like you might love and miss a deceased parent or child. Trying not to feel like you are competing with the loved person.

No matter how much a widow may feel for their previous partner, she/he can no longer receive love, support and company from them, nor can she/he enjoy actively loving them. She can have all that exclusively with you, and if you are patient and caring to her including her grief and feelings of loss, you will find she forms a deep attachment to you, and as she does so, her feelings for her previous partner will dim and become a shadow to the very live and active feelings she has for her immediate relationship.

RE: What you feel about being single again?

Could be hun, ;-) How's life treating you? xx

RE: What you feel about being single again?

RE: What you feel about being single again?

Hey Trouble, how's it going? The world is turning and the kids are growing up.. One of them seems a bit of a Tomboy, can't think where she get's it from.xxx

RE: What you feel about being single again?

I've been single so long now, I'm scared of the unknown and forgotten relationship factor's, but miss loving, miss it very much..

RE: What you feel about being single again?

You won't remember me- different username, but I wanted to send you my congrats Smoky, your posts are always positive, and quirky, and I'm happy for you, may it be a long and happy marriage.xxx