RE: Relatively new movie "Mass"

No, perception isn't everything.

There is reality, too.

I'm a real person, too. I have my own thoughts and Rohaan's guesses about my thoughts are never even remotely accurate. His frequent accusations come from his reality, not mine.

Rohaan gets easily offended and has made it clear that everyone has to be careful not to upset him. I tippy-toe around him, but even asking a simple and harmless question offends him. You and Serene have come running to protect his sensitive self, but he's as grown arsed as I am.

I have feelings, too, y'know. Just because I discuss issues rather than have a hissy fit doesn't mean that I don't feel anything, or feel any hurt ever.

And before anybody says anything, feeling hurt is not a mental feckin' illness. roll eyes

RE: Relatively new movie "Mass"

I'm not sure why you describe me telling my stories as me discussing my mental health, or psychological issues, unless you're trying to demean me and gain some kind of power position over me.

In terms of happy, healthy behaviours and good social skills, Serene...Just sayin'. laugh

RE: Relatively new movie "Mass"

If you look back, Rohaan accused me of doing something foul that I hadn't done.

Why do you think that Rohaan's rudeness and accusations are an acceptable expression of his feelings, but that it's not acceptable for me to say that there was no such twisted plot behind the simple question I asked?

Yeah, I get that people feel threatened by me asking questions like:

Have you thought that maybe people could ignore my questions, or comments if they feel uncomfortable?

Y'know, that alongside having social skills like kindness towards others, we are also responsible for our own feelings.

I just asked a question because I misinterpreted the use of 'sort of' thinking it was an American colloquialism like 'kinda', rather than 'type of'.

Rohaan could have explained what he really meant without being rude. He could have been more socially skilled and kinder in the way he responded to my question.

I'm wondering why there are double standards going on here. I suspect it's because of the way Rohaan and I are perceived in this medium, but like you said, it's not face to face.

Yes, I approach uncomfortable subjects fairly fearlessly and I understand that some people don't like that, but I am a human being and I'm not totally unaffected by what is essentially the bullying behaviour on this thread.

RE: Relatively new movie "Mass"

You have on many occasions accused people of being mentally ill because you disagree with them.

It was I who challenged you for that behaviour (specifically when you accused Chesney of being mentally ill, remember?) so I don't know why you think I'm not going to notice that the above is the same, albeit less blatant.

People who have different opinions from you are not mentally ill.

Accusing people you disagree with of mental ill health is not a debate technique, nor a social skill.

Exploring one's own thoughts, feelings and behaviours is not indicative of 'psychological issues'. It's mindful and healthy.

It's not antisocial behaviour to ask a question when you don't understand what someone has said, to refute a false accusation, or to hold someone to their own behaviour standards.

Accusing someone of being mentally ill, or trying to out them as having psychological issues because you disagree with them, or don't like them is not exactly pro social behaviour, is it? laugh

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

Why read your mail in your pantry, rather than in some other household location?

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

The verbal typeset of hmmm is hmmm.

It's not the_bird.

It's questioning, not insulting.

Your interpretation of facial expression/body language is inaccurate. hmmm

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

Oooh, is that you're genuine interpretation of that emote, or are you avoiding exploring how you feel about mail intruding?

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

Not really. hmmm

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

It looks like my grandchildren's toy shelves, but less well organised and stocked, laugh

Do you like opening your mail?

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

What does that say about you, Track?

RE: Say Anything part 2

Yay, I've just got a 'like' with a lengthy c*ck profile pic.

Nothing like a bit of genitalia to brighten up one's day. laugh

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

I've had this idea in my head that I have issues with food scarcity and that my larder is psychologically out of proportion with my physical needs.

I have justified my perceived hoarding in a myriad of ways - my (ill) health circumstances, my geographical location and the lack of local infrastructure, my familial historical influences, European Food Hygiene Act, etc.

Reading this thread, I'm now thinking that perhaps my 'larder' behaviour (a few shelves) is not all that extreme. laugh

I'm hearing food groups, stock rotation, artistry, facing up - how much do our pantries manifest a perceived control over our lives?

If, as fairly middle class white women (or men in Gal's case) the organised, well stocked pantry provides some sort of security, or comfort in the face of the unpredictable big, wide world, what must it feel like to be excluded now and for generations preceding, not to have that luxury?

It's not that I don't know what food scarcity is like, but I've dipped in and out of it many times. It's not been a life-long, permanent fixture.

RE: RIP Lance Reddick

I read "donations to" instead of flowers, I guess.

Naww, what a nice man taken too soon. sad flower

RE: Relatively new movie "Mass"

Is that the royal 'we', Rohaan? laugh

I don't think you have the authority to tell me to get the phuck out. It's not really playing nicely either, so you're expecting something from me you don't think you have to abide by. Which was my point.

RE: Relatively new movie "Mass"

I can't see where you wrote 'this type' in your op.

I can see 'this sort of trying to "heal" is really not a good idea.'

Sorry if I misinterpreted that as 'sort of' trying to heal from an English English language perspective reading American English.

I didn't do what you accused me off and I'd appreciate it if you stop making unfounded assumptions about me and being rude. I've had a tit full of it, Rohaan.

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

Ask Biggus Dickus. laugh

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

I doubt very much that your pantry has the boutique look that is being displayed on Tik Tok. Try scrolling down in the link Gal cited:

Mine is mostly reused jars and bottles, some of which I've had for more than 35 years. A lot of my jars/spice pots are salvaged from charity shops. I avoid plastic as much as possible in the interests of my own health as well as the planet's. To me, buying new plastic just to get a particular pantry aesthetic is symbolic of the idiocy and wastefulness of capitalism. I find it a very shallow form of artistic creativity, too.

My well organised, well stocked larder shelves are nothing like the plastic fantastic trend that the professor is referring to, but there are still some elements of what the professor is saying that ring true for me. My planning and organisation does have a 'good housewife' gender biased element to it and having stock in advance of needing it is indicative of comparative wealth and capitalism.

Your comment 'How white of you!' fails to recognise the historical racial inequality in the US. Your ancestors quite rightly will have managed food around potential scarcity, but how many people of colour had ancestors, or who themselves haven't had the opportunity, or resources to plan in advance?

The right wing sources that sensationalise the Professor's message are designed to get you all indignant. They're designed to have you feel threatened and so reject outright what was really said. It's not a criticism of you managing potential food scarcity, it's pointing out that the trend of 'boutique' pantries on Tik Tok has it's roots in gender, racial and class dynamics.

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

The hyacinth Bucket reference has gone over my head, but I certainly saw some of the behaviour you described at university.

Perhaps some of the middle class do indeed focus on accumulating wealth in later years, rather than housework, thus the cycles of wealth/scarcity vs mess/looking after what you have are to some degree cyclical.

I don't think there were many people at university in my time who were trained in the art of removing Sellotape from gift wrapping paper without damaging it, so it could be ironed and put away for next year. laugh

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

The bit you quoted above was cited in the two right wing sources, but out of context. You repeated their sensationalism by implying a well stocked, well organised pantry is an act of sexism and racism in itself.

Can you see how, in this politically neutral and factually accurate source you cite above, that the context is more nuanced? For one thing it's based on historical North American cultural norms; for another it suggests the behaviour has arisen from gender, racial and class discrimination, rather than solely being an act of discrimination.

Whilst I recognise a lot of my own perfect pantry behaviour in that piece, my open pine shelves squished into the corner of my tiny kitchen has it's emotional roots and structure steeped in European and environmental culture. That's not to say there aren't gender, racial and class issues at play in my own pantry behaviour, but that there is so much more to it that that.

I once described my mother's larder during the General Strikes in the 1970's to a friend. The next time I saw her she handed me a book called A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewycka because she recognised a pantry behaviour cultural link that was alien to her. It's a fabulous novel. laugh

For me, the topic is very much a springboard to examine my own behaviour, including in the wider context of discrimination. I see it as a learning experience rather than something to fear, or become indignant about.

You're curious yourself about your own pantry behaviour and what that says about you. That's interesting, but only you can work that one out.

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

It's not difficult to see that Professor Drenten has been deliberately misrepresented in about two thirds of that article you have cited. It's almost identical to the Fox News article that I read.

I can't help you with how one of these right wing sources would label you, Gal. dunno

RE: Relatively new movie "Mass"

Why do you think trying to 'heal' is not a good idea, Rohaan?

RE: Is an organized pantry Racist and Sexist ?

If your pantry is expressing a political opinion, Gal, go and lie down.

As for Professor Jenna Drenten pointing out that the recent trend of tik tok videos showing off well stocked, well organised pantries, is steeped in social issues related to status, I think much has been missed out in the media reporting.

Some parts of the Welsh Valleys have third world status even to this day, but homes are mostly kept immaculately clean and well organised. It comes from the same social status root, but it's not necessarily about having social status, but avoiding judgement for a lack of it. It says, "I may not have much materially, but I have pride and high standards."

I found out at university quite how working class I am when someone pointed out that the students who had dirty and disorganised homes were actually middle class. They already had status, so had nothing to prove.

It's more complicated than a well stocked, well organised pantry being a symbol of wealth, whiteness and a 'good' wife/housekeeper because that gender/class/race status will be borrowed, much like matching shoes/clothes were once a symbol of wealth/status and mismatched outfits a sign of poverty, but then it swapped round as living standards increased.

My mum was a bit of a food hoarder, but she came close to dying of starvation as a child. A well stocked, well organised pantry can have it's roots in fear and oppression, so it's definitely not just a trait of white, middle class women. In some cases it's possible that people are less likely to budget and store for emergencies if they can buy what they want on a daily basis without worrying.

Pantries, or larders as I call them, can symbolise so many things. I find them intriguing.

RE: which can't be recovered

Some couples might respond to intervention like counselling.

Or maybe being thrown into a survival situation where they only have each other. laugh

RE: which can't be recovered

Once people feel contempt for each other, particularly in a relationship, it's next to impossible to recover, so I've heard.

I don't know how universal that is, but it's an interesting one.

RE: Thumbs

Embedded image from another site

RE: Chaim Topol dies at 87 R.I.P.

"In 1967, Topol founded Variety Israel, an organization serving children with special needs. He was also a co-founder and chairman of the board of Jordan River Village, a year-round camp for Arab and Jewish children with life-threatening illnesses, which opened in 2012." Wiki

RE: Other Options Besides Divorce

The point highest risk of women being murdered in domestic abuse situations is when they try to leave.

Live, or die/stay, or leave are options, but not necessarily as uncomplicated a choice as you're trying to make out.

I am in no way advocating violence against men by women, but without the full history we're left with guesswork. It could have been all him, it could have been all her, it could have been both of them.

So what's the point of posting this and making uninformed decisions about what the whole story is?

RE: Other Options Besides Divorce

RE: Happy Women's Day

Happy Emotionally Retarded Day, Connie. wave

RE: Prices and such...

So, a gallon of ecological time bomb petrol is of equal value to 3.4 loo rolls in the US? shock

Hang on... typing ... writing ...

The fact that here in the UK we can get 5.7 bog rolls to the gallon is hardly encouraging, either. sigh

How has the way we value life become so warped that it's cheaper to drive to the corner shop than it is to go for a crap? dunno

This is a list of forum posts created by jac_the_gripper.

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