RE: Fear!!

So, you've got several things going on.

Naturally, you would trust people and you feel uncomfortable about the possibility you could hurt others, by not trusting them, or not treating them with respect.

But also, experience has shown you that trusting people may lead to your own hurt.

It maybe feels like an impossible situation, or a difficult balance.

RE: Fear!!

My pleasure, HM. hug

RE: Fear!!

And a choice people often make because it feels safer to stay in that space.

But is it?

RE: Does skin colour realy matter when it comes to dating?

Can you describe those strange looks, Vongai?

RE: Does skin colour realy matter when it comes to dating?

People can choose to change themselves.

The first step is to recognise that we do have prejudices.

The second step is to recognise that out prejudices have an impact upon others.

RE: Fear!!

No, you're not strange.

It's very common to have trust issues due to feelings of betrayal.

You can get over this. It takes time and work and it may be difficult to see how to get past this point, but you can do it.

RE: Cross-dressing:- Good Or Bad

Ummm...yeah...you seem to be more interested in sitting on the naughty step than you do in frocks. dunno

RE: Does skin colour realy matter when it comes to dating?

Fear and ignorance may result in a reaction, but that's different from admitting that we're having those reactions through fear and ignorance.

If we recognise our reactions we can start to do something about our ignorance (ie learn something) and so our fear of the unknown will dissipate.

The problem is denying that we're fearful, ignorant and reacting poorly to others.

RE: Does skin colour realy matter when it comes to dating?

I totally get that. The first time I saw a black man I thought he was made out of chocolate (I was only 3/4 years old, mind).

What I don't get is why people try to hide their prejudices, particularly under the cloak of 'preferences'. I'm mixed race, mixed nationality, I have learning differences (sometimes called disabilities which annoys me)...and I have prejudices about everything. I try hard to work through my prejudices as much as possible, I try to address my ignorance, my indoctrination, my logical fallacies.

Why do people have so much difficulty in admitting they have prejudices, when it's plain that everybody does? I think it's a huge barrier to addressing a lot of issues.

RE: Does skin colour realy matter when it comes to dating?

No, you don't know how I work at all, Monte.

And I'm not little, nor a lady.

I'm a very big woman. tip hat

RE: Does skin colour realy matter when it comes to dating?

I think it's still an issue in lots of places in the world. My mum got all worked up when I mentioned something about my daughter being half Gypsy and our own family history is cloaked in secrecy. I believe it's a hangover from my mother's experiences in war-time Germany and her fears about being open about our family origins. That was 60 years ago and more.

On my dad's side my grandad was always described as *sotto voce* dark, like it was a shameful thing and even today in Wales, you don't see all that many mixed race couples.

People do stare, I stare, I've been stared at...just one thing, though: people might not be staring disapprovingly. People might stare because they look a beautiful, or happy couple. People might stare because they're interested in how their kids look a mix of the two parents. People might stare for all sorts of reasons, some nice, some not so nice. dunno

RE: Do You Have Trouble Throwing Things Away?

Ahaa, like Germaine Greer causing a storm in the 70's by outrageously suggesting that women work as free-lance secretaries instead of being tied to one boss for their whole working lives. laugh

I sometimes forget what was revolutionary such a short time ago, and yet seems so dated in it's values now.

Thank you for reminding me. tip hat

RE: Does skin colour realy matter when it comes to dating?

What do you think are the disadvantages of being mixed race, or racial mixing?

Btw, there is a difference between forced intermarriage and 'preferences' which are at least in part based upon prejudices. We don't like to admit that we have racial, or other prejudices, but we do, just about every last one of us, if not all of us.

RE: Do You Have Trouble Throwing Things Away?

Is there any class/status significance in Sanford and Son being black?

RE: Do You Have Trouble Throwing Things Away?

RE: Do You Have Trouble Throwing Things Away?

That would be like one of those garden sprinklers. laugh

RE: Do You Have Trouble Throwing Things Away?

If it's anything like lama's spitting, it's not human-like at all.

I took my daughter and a few friends to an animal farm for her birthday one year, I think when she was 10. A lama spat a mass of greeners at her because he was pissy about getting the most food. She was absolutely mortified and took it very personally, bless her. laugh

RE: Do nice guys finish last?

That's a shame, I find you funny.

As for the bumper sticker, would anyone else get Christmas presents if Jesus could find the sinners? Did ya think of that...? laugh

RE: Do nice guys finish last?

I have noticed you tone down your posts for my benefit, thank you. laugh

<--- Painfully shy lass. blushing giggle



PS. Perhaps Jesus should get GPS and then people wouldn't have to keep finding him. dunno

RE: Do nice guys finish last?

My days are often full of it, but that's a different subject. uh oh

giggle

RE: Do nice guys finish last?

Ha ha, we're having a proper CS lurve-fest today. Just what the doctor ordered. laugh

RE: Do nice guys finish last?

hug <--- especially for you. tip hat

RE: Never Marrieds

I never had those dreams growing up. Is that odd? dunno

I remember saying to a friend when I was 13 years old that I was never going to get married. She made me write it down, sign it and put it in a sealed envelope, so she could waggle it in front of my face on my wedding day.

I wonder how many years ago she binned it. laugh

RE: Do nice guys finish last?

Oh, cool. blushing grin

RE: BACH and RACHMANINOV

Thank you for you kind words, Lord Fly. hug

I'm not very musical and have funny hearing, so I can't hear the kind of subtleties you obviously do. I'm afraid the Bach just comes across as noise to me. blues

I sneaked the Mikhail Glinka in because I like it, I can hear it and I'm related to him on my mother's side (I like to brag about that laugh). I've heard he influenced the works of Prokofiev and Tchaikovsky.

RE: Do nice guys finish last?

Where were you last night when I was shredding my hands dismantling huge shelving units and moving them to the next room? I hurt all over by the time dawn broke. blues

I've still got plenty more to do tonight if you want to come over, reb. laugh

RE: BACH and RACHMANINOV

RE: Do nice guys finish last?

And Uptall.

You're both lush. hug

RE: BACH and RACHMANINOV

RE: BACH and RACHMANINOV

This is a list of forum posts created by jac_the_gripper.

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