Naturally, you would trust people and you feel uncomfortable about the possibility you could hurt others, by not trusting them, or not treating them with respect.
But also, experience has shown you that trusting people may lead to your own hurt.
It maybe feels like an impossible situation, or a difficult balance.
I totally get that. The first time I saw a black man I thought he was made out of chocolate (I was only 3/4 years old, mind).
What I don't get is why people try to hide their prejudices, particularly under the cloak of 'preferences'. I'm mixed race, mixed nationality, I have learning differences (sometimes called disabilities which annoys me)...and I have prejudices about everything. I try hard to work through my prejudices as much as possible, I try to address my ignorance, my indoctrination, my logical fallacies.
Why do people have so much difficulty in admitting they have prejudices, when it's plain that everybody does? I think it's a huge barrier to addressing a lot of issues.
I think it's still an issue in lots of places in the world. My mum got all worked up when I mentioned something about my daughter being half Gypsy and our own family history is cloaked in secrecy. I believe it's a hangover from my mother's experiences in war-time Germany and her fears about being open about our family origins. That was 60 years ago and more.
On my dad's side my grandad was always described as *sotto voce* dark, like it was a shameful thing and even today in Wales, you don't see all that many mixed race couples.
People do stare, I stare, I've been stared at...just one thing, though: people might not be staring disapprovingly. People might stare because they look a beautiful, or happy couple. People might stare because they're interested in how their kids look a mix of the two parents. People might stare for all sorts of reasons, some nice, some not so nice.
Ahaa, like Germaine Greer causing a storm in the 70's by outrageously suggesting that women work as free-lance secretaries instead of being tied to one boss for their whole working lives.
I sometimes forget what was revolutionary such a short time ago, and yet seems so dated in it's values now.
What do you think are the disadvantages of being mixed race, or racial mixing?
Btw, there is a difference between forced intermarriage and 'preferences' which are at least in part based upon prejudices. We don't like to admit that we have racial, or other prejudices, but we do, just about every last one of us, if not all of us.
If it's anything like lama's spitting, it's not human-like at all.
I took my daughter and a few friends to an animal farm for her birthday one year, I think when she was 10. A lama spat a mass of greeners at her because he was pissy about getting the most food. She was absolutely mortified and took it very personally, bless her.
I remember saying to a friend when I was 13 years old that I was never going to get married. She made me write it down, sign it and put it in a sealed envelope, so she could waggle it in front of my face on my wedding day.
I'm not very musical and have funny hearing, so I can't hear the kind of subtleties you obviously do. I'm afraid the Bach just comes across as noise to me.
I sneaked the Mikhail Glinka in because I like it, I can hear it and I'm related to him on my mother's side (I like to brag about that ). I've heard he influenced the works of Prokofiev and Tchaikovsky.
Where were you last night when I was shredding my hands dismantling huge shelving units and moving them to the next room? I hurt all over by the time dawn broke.
I've still got plenty more to do tonight if you want to come over, reb.
RE: Fear!!
So, you've got several things going on.Naturally, you would trust people and you feel uncomfortable about the possibility you could hurt others, by not trusting them, or not treating them with respect.
But also, experience has shown you that trusting people may lead to your own hurt.
It maybe feels like an impossible situation, or a difficult balance.