RE: What panic when told that some people were buried alive by my teacher, I was ten years old

I was determined that my daughter would not be afraid of the dark.

One day she came into my room at dawn and asked me why my curtains were open.

Half asleep, I mumbled the explanation that my alarm clock had broken and that I was worried I wouldn't wake up without the light in the morning.

We'd recently had a spate of bereavements. I had tried to explain death in three year old terms by saying our friends had gone to sleep, but they wouldn't wake up again.

My daughter put two and two together and made five. It took a year for her to develop the language skills to explain why she had become afraid of the dark.

She thought that without the dawn light to wake you up, you would die.

We have no control over how someone else attends to, or interprets our words. We may think carefully about how we explain things, thinking we are clear, providing reassurance even, but we cannot control what happens in another person's mind.

RE: If You Were a Waiter and a Customer was a Real Jerk,

No, it would demean myself to not practise according to food hygiene laws.

There are more sophisticated ways of taking control back from a poorly behaved customer, whilst retaining one's own integrity and dignity.

And it's more fun. giggle

RE: Unconditional love!

Dogs, daughter, granddaughter.

Even when they make a mess. laugh

RE: What panic when told that some people were buried alive by my teacher, I was ten years old

That string around the toes attached to a bell - the it's where the expression - 'saved by the bell' the comes from.

I've had a close shave with the grim reaper. It was just a part of life, but with a flood of endorphins. laugh

RE: Somebody likes me

Or 'like' her back.

I've noticed my 'likes' list is mostly men looking for an intimate encounter which I've blocked so they can't mail me.

RE: Self image !

Sorry, I should have replied earlier, Lookin'. I'm on a super busy week. stuck

What I meant was, if someone can put forward a logical and flawless argument in opposition to mine which changes my opinion, or perspective, I really enjoy it.

Or sometimes it might just be a piece of information which changes my outlook.

Or maybe just bouncing ideas of each other, for example, I had a conversation with a friend recently inspired by the phone sex thread. At one point we were theorising about the evolutionary advantages of phone sex - it was silly, with some logical basis and plain funny - so much more fun than simple statements of opinion which I find rather dry.

RE: Cockney Rhyming Slang

Yor 'avin' a bleedin' bubble, intcha? laugh

Bubble barf (bath) - larf (laugh)

Bubble & squeak - Greek

RE: How many dates would it take before you have sex?

If two people date, how can a relationship progress if one person has a time frame for that progression?

Doesn't that exclude the other person's input?

If the other person's input is excluded, then there's no relationship between two people.

If a relationship has been excluded, what would be the point in dating?

RE: So, can someone tell me

Hex, you're a prolific and confrontational poster.

When people said they didn't like the current tone of the forums, I don't think they were hoping you'd ban everyone, but yourself.

RE: So, can someone tell me



Are those poncy brand names?

RE: Self image !

No, I'm not in the right place for that particular kind of communication I crave, Johnjim.

I can still hope, and occasionally someone says something on the forums which puts my head in a good spin.

I do get other things out of the forums, however, and I private mail here can be quite different from the forums.

RE: Self image !

I've created threads in the past, One2, without much success.

Maybe I should take a leaf out of your book. laugh

Different people respond to different stimuli; we respond to different stimuli at different times. That's interesting in itself, both in terms of observation and introspection. It's all inspiring and a learning process.

I was referring to something different, though. We all interpret from our own value framework: I find it frustrating when people attribute bizarre motivations to my posts, or behaviours. It's not so much that I'm concerned about how I'm personally perceived, as frustration that my posts have all sorts of stuff attributed, or added to them which hasn't come from me, but from the perceiver.

It kind of negates using the techniques of debate and logic, which I put some thought and effort into.

RE: Self image !

I can't say I'm that self-actualised that I don't care how I'm perceived.

I'm finding I'm more and more self-reliant as I personally develop, however.

I find it more frustrating that my attempts to discuss and debate are misinterpreted. I crave the kind of dialogue that is challenging and inspiring.

RE: Eating fish n chips outta newspaper ... could ya, would ya, should ya

If you really believe you've created this thread and your phone sex thread in the same format, or that the two subjects are commensurate, that has to be one of the most astounding psychosocial disconnects that I have seen on the forums yet.

But hey, your obtuse interpretations of me turning up on your WVM list, despite my outlining the limitations of posting by phone and using the mobile site, are kind of in line with that level of unreality.

Apologies for replying to your post directed at me on the phone sex thread here, but seeing as you opted for your usual confrontational and lilly livered tactic of banning me from the other thread, it suddenly became way too much fun not to post here. giggle

RE: UK Banks to freeze accounts of all illegal immigrants.

People have bank accounts in different countries, regardless of their residency.

People have bank accounts in the country they have a visa to reside in.

Say they have a visa to cover an academic research project contract. If that contract is extended, or they secure another, they might apply for an extension of their visa.

If that visa is refused to make the government statistics look good, regardless of the long term advantage of a country's research status, or product...and the academic's bank account is frozen within hours of refusal, it's possible that they won't have the means to leave the country.

Cue more financial expense deporting someone who would have otherwise got a job and taken their valuable expertise to benefit a less stupid country.


RE: If you could......

I'd be interested in more details of that scheme, Rumps.

I'm not clear about what you're saying.

Perhaps you can run through what the scheme does for an individual - how basic is the income, what do they do to earn it, how do they come to move to the countryside, eduction, qualifications, what work opportunities are available to them after the scheme including transport access to where work is - things like that.

RE: If you could......

It's easy to blame the most vulnerable and underesource in society.

They don't have the resources to fight back.

RE: If you could......

Sorry about the Greece gaff, One2.

I was born in England too, but I wouldn't have been if it weren't for the immigration laws being easier back in the 50's than they are now.

RE: If you could......

Go spend some time chatting to homeless people Rumps, and you'll begin to see some easy solutions to at least make a start.

But thanks for the prom Queen compiment. batting

RE: If you could......

Are you looking for free passage back to Greece, One2?

Only if the government wants to send me back to my homelands, their gonna have to wait until they can cremate me and scatter my ashes into the four winds.


RE: Biggest Moment

And you apparently know equally as little, Chris, if you think that Christian fanatics aren't killing countless innocent people all over the world.

Armies have a rather shameless habit of using religion and their god being on their side. It doesn't make atrocities a religious, or godly act.

Nor does it mean all religious people commit atrocious acts.

To muddle these things up is to be guilty of prejudice, a most essential weapon of war.

RE: If you could......

I'm going to make it illegal to leave people our on the street with no food, water, bathroom facilities, or shelter.

RE: UK Banks to freeze accounts of all illegal immigrants.

At what point will people be taking advantage?

The moment their visas aren't renewed, but before the information about this is put in the post?

The day before they are due to leave the country like the Cardiff schoolboy, but when they need access to their accounts to pay for a taxi to the airport to leave?

RE: UK Banks to freeze accounts of all illegal immigrants.

A few years back there was a purge of foreigners round here.

The bit I heard about involved not renewing visas for a lot of academics. It involved the interruption of significant and funded research projects contributed to by specialists from all over the world.

Freezing bank accounts holding significant sums sounds like going for easy targets to boost statistics, without the consequence necessarily being at all beneficial to the country.

Like the Cardiff schoolboy who was dragged out of class by police on his last day with his peers before returning to his home country with his parents the following day, I wonder what resources and inhumanities will be expended in packing people off who are already packed for the off.

RE: Who's Duty Is It ??

I think there should be a comprehensive programme taught through all ages at school.

I don't think think it should be purely mechanical and about sex.

I think it should be about relationships, law, philosophy, ethics, all sorts of things.

For example, at age five, the focus could be on treating each other with respect including the concept of consent. That could be done through play and sharing toys, pens, books, etc. I'd like to see those ideas include the NSPCC's innovative 'underwear rule' in order to empower children to protect themselves from s*xual abuse.

Keeping children ignorant to preserve their innocence backfires with alarming regularity. We're the grown ups, we need to take responsibility for protecting children. It's not acceptable to continue to let children carry the consequences of s*xual abuse because we don't want to deal with the nasty reality.

Another example for older students might be the issues raised on a recent abortion thread. As men cannot demand that a woman either aborts their child, or doesn't abort their child, they need to be made aware that their point of power and control over abortion issues is prior to conception. That's the point at which they still have choices.

We need to empower children and young people to be able make the right choices for themselves and protect themselves, to have healthy relationships with each other.

I also think it's about time we stopped excluding people who don't fit into the binary gender, heterosexual models of relationships. People of my daughter's generation seem to be pretty unphased by gender and sexuality fluidity. It's about time we grew up with our kids.

Maybe they might be more willing to grow up with us as a consequence.

RE: Is there too much kindness on the forums?

I put the * in twit.

We all read from our own value framework.

RE: Is there too much kindness on the forums?

Plainly, you didn't get what I was saying, Hex.

RE: Is there too much kindness on the forums?

Banter without some level of affection is just bitchin', ya tw*t. grin

RE: Phone sex ... would ya, could ya, should ya

I wasn't grumpy when I made my comment.

Your op is loaded by giving your opinion that sexuality activity is not worthwhile unless two people are in the same room. It's further loaded with your suggestion that phone sex is unhealthy and deluded. That's different from simply asking people's opinions.

That means people are either in a position where they agree with you, or oppose you. It's perhaps a conflictual way of presenting a thread, rather than one inviting open discussion.

Having seen a lot of threads like this over the years, they tend to promote a continuing theme of judgement and superiority: you get the 'I'm so much better at sex and relationships because...' kind of theme running through them (assuming they don't just dissolve into arsing around, or conflict about other things.)

Are sex and relationships competitive sports? dunno laugh

Personally, I'm not all that interested in other people's sex lives assuming it's consensual and non-abusive.

I get why the stuff of 50 shades might be a point of discussion as there seems to be different opinions about eroticism versus abuse.

But phone sex? Consenting adults engaging in verbal eroticism as a subject of conflict and judgement?

RE: Phone sex ... would ya, could ya, should ya

I'm thinking you can only decide what's right for you.

There's not much point in trying to impose your view on others, nor is there much point in asking other's their opinion if you've already decided for yourself.


This is a list of forum posts created by jac_the_gripper.

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