It doesn't really matter who, if anyone, is playing us.
It doesn't really matter if the information we have been presented adds up in our understanding. Maybe we don't have enough information, or clear information. Maybe the OP is presenting a scenario.
The salient points are that a man who is grieving shouts and shakes his fist at a woman who expresses her condolences. It's no skin off my nose to reflect on that scenario. I haven't lost anything by doing that.
Unless more information is presented we can do no more. Trying to guess at things from a posting history is not the same as being presented with more information.
Even if we were being played, our reflections may be a useful exercise. Understanding that other people's behaviour is to do with them and we can only take responsibility for our own is developmentally important. It's the stuff of a healthy self-esteem.
It's not too difficult to get a divorce here. That's a good thing, in many ways.
Historically, in my culture women went from being owned by their fathers to being owned by their husbands. It's still a part of the traditional wedding ceremony for brides to be 'given away' by their fathers to the man they are marrying.
The ability to get a divorce for many women has been an ability to escape abusive marriages and being seen as the property of a man, rather than being a human being in their own right.
This social history, along with the advent of easily available contraception, has lead to many social changes for both men and women.
If you can easily get a divorce, many people feel it makes a mockery of a marriage ceremony where people promise to be together until they die. It's not so much 'until death do we part' as 'until divorce do we part'.
Many people are more comfortable with a private commitment to each other, or no commitment.
Personally, I think it's more important that people are honest with, and kind to each other, than following social rules.
I think people can decide for themselves how they want to live their lives, unless they are harming others.
Often grief anger can be irrational, for example, people can get angry because the dead person left them, or angry because medical staff didn't save them.
I'm not saying he had the right to roar at you, or shake his first at you. I'm not saying you should accept his behaviour.
I'm just trying to explain how his behaviour was to do with him and not anything you did wrong.
Often grief anger can be irrational, for example, people can get angry because the dead person left them, or angry because medical staff didn't save them.
I'm not saying he had the right to roar at you, or shake his first at you. I'm not saying you should accept his behaviour.
I'm just trying to explain how his behaviour was to do with him and not anything you did wrong.
I earned about £3.65 for a Saturday afternoon job in 1982, Bristol.
It must have been £20 a week you were earning in 1975, because my wages were low and a struggle to manage on, even though I was at school and I had some stuff provided by my parents.
View your profile and go to the bottom where it says 'forums'.
There are 20 of your own posts on each page.
If there are five pages all with the same date, it's time to make a cup of tea and a sandwich.
If you find yourself writing an essay for each post like I do, it might be worth investing in a tea's maid and a packet of high protein digestives for dunking.
Harbal isn't rude, he's hilarious, but he is a Yorkshire man, so not everyone gets that.
And no, I'm not sure of the accuser's motivations, only he will know that, but I haven't just fallen off the top of a Christmas tree.
For the Conservatives to have any hope of winning the next election, they have to get rid of Corbyn. The UK knows we can cause a turn-around in his favour which we didn't the last time round. That's likely to sway those who tactically voted Liberal last time in the hope of at least getting another Conservative/Liberal coalition, rather than an outright Conservative majority.
Labour (Jeremy Corbyn) weren't going to get into bed with the Liberal Party after their recent affair with the Conservatives. It was majority, or nothing and they were awfully close.
Also, I can only find this story in the tabloids. It's not credible enough for the papers who cater for people with an adult reading age and reasoning abilities. In the last election, a lot of Jeremy Corbyn's votes came from the working classes who did a U-turn from their previous Conservative/extreme right wing voting history.
It's so blatantly a psychological tactic, the accuser's motivations are irrelevant, but most likely financial. A person in his purported position must have some intelligence and skill, but these traits are absent in the accusations. The cunning is in the manipulation reaching the target audience, no more.
The one in Cardiff in 1990 was a little unnerving, though. Not that I realised it was an earthquake at the time - I though the dodgy rented student house I was living in was about to sink into its foundations.
Well Harbal, they've been trying to introduce the US fanfare school of political campaigning over here for a while now, so it's not surprising they're stooping to this level, too.
Do you remember Gordon Brown being made to smile during his election campaign? I'm not sure I've ever seen anything so hilariously sinister as Gordon Brown smiling.
And of course, Jeremy Corbyn has been much criticised for saying sensible things once, rather than repeating outlandish verbal stunts like an overdosed parrot.
The daily mail is a trashy paper for people who are not quite stupid, or trashy enough for the Sun. The Sun aims for a reading age of 13 years old.
The person revealing the 'news' about Corbyn avoids substantiating any of his claims using techniques believable to those who read spy novels, or watch a bit of James Bond.
From what I've seen, it's no more than a desperate smear campaign.
The Conservative's are likely very concerned about having their butts whooped in the next election. A smear campaign is probably the only way they can get rid of Corbyn and doing it too close to the election will arouse suspicion.
It's quite a clever bit of media manipulation, given it neatly hits at its target of stupid people. It's nauseating, but I think it will work - the nation will vote in unprincipled, power hungry, egocentric low life's again, forgetting they'd rather see children burn alive than lose a couple of grand profit.
I think often people assume this is specifically a dating site, rather than a singles' site with lots of social options.
I think people who are solely looking for a relationship often assume that everyone else is solely looking for a relationship.
They may view any interaction as building a relationship. They may view anybody else interacting as building a relationship.
I think people lose sight of normal social interaction by making these assumptions. If we go to an office do, there may be someone we're building a relationship with, but it would be a bit odd to blank everyone else.
The question for me would be, do I want to build a relationship with someone who wants to stop me from socially interacting with others?
Do I want to commit to someone after one email? Do I want to build a relationship with someone who can't trust me to chat, or discuss a forum inspired point of detail without whipping my knickers off?
I kinda view these things as self-selecting processes. If someone doesn't like my ethos after discussing it with them, they're kinda welcome not to interact with me.
I'm not going to act all odd because someone else is acting all odd. I'm okay with my own odd.
I once worked with someone who I perceived as having malignant narcissistic traits.
It strikes me there's a lot of media fueled melodrama surrounding this subject.
I didn't like him, but I didn't consider him evil, either. I had to maintain a professional relationship with him, but I wasn't obliged to have a personal relationship with him.
He appeared to have something(s) missing which affected his personal relationships. His empathy was centred around his own needs and didn't extend to others in any genuine, or meaningful way.
He appeared to be aware he was missing something at times, but the nature of having it missing meant he couldn't grasp what it was. This appeared to cause him some confusion and distress.
His coping strategy appeared to be the construction of a personality and life history for himself. It was false and inconsistent and gave the impression that he was a liar. I don't think lying was his primary goal, however. He appeared to be trying to make sense of his world, to fit in and gain approval. He had both a low self-esteem which need bolstering and an over-inflated self-esteem out of proportion with his actual achievements. It was as if he couldn't gauge anything interpersonal.
My knee jerk reaction to him was hostility as he could be quote nasty, but I had to engage with him as a colleague. I constantly tried to remind myself that to a large extent he couldn't help being a horrible person. I found socially engaging with him in snippets on neutral subjects (the weather, colour perception, spelling) the best way to negotiate the social difficulties.
I was careful not to give away personal details which he might use, but even then, things I said often would get absorbed into his personality almost to the point where he had my childbirth experience. It is difficult to gauge where the boundaries should be with someone so out of kilter with social norms.
I found him a rather sad creature, but I was rather relieved when I no longer had to work with him.
Jealousy is an emotion and as such is neither healthy, nor unhealthy. It's an experience.
What you do with experiencing that emotion is where the healthy, or unhealthy bit comes in.
It's healthy to be able to recognise we are experiencing an emotion and to be able to identify it accurately. Once identified, it's healthy to be able to express the existence of that emotion and identify its source.
It's unhealthy to be unaware of our own emotions, misidentify the emotion, or misidentify the source. So, in experiencing jealousy, if we express anger and demand our partner changes their own ordinary behaviour (chatting to customers, service providers, friends, saying hello to people) we are not recognising our own emotions and psyche behind them. We are forcing our partner into relieving our uncomfortable feelings with unrealistic expectations of their behaviour.
jac_the_gripper Forum Posts (5,363)
RE: AGE GAP
Age isn't the issue.Power imbalance is an issue in relationships.
Age can impact upon power balance.