Ambrose2007 Forum Posts (8,881)

Dating out of your financial and/or socioeconomic class...

Living responsibly (able to pay bills, for instance)? Or keeping their house and yard neat and clean? Or just their basic lifestyle?

Dating out of your financial and/or socioeconomic class...

Agreed. But I'm more interested in the question of how appealing or interested in a lady of means would be regarding a poorer gentleman. Once we agreed on a date or get-together, I wouldn't expect emasculating or otherwise denigrating behavior (unless she were willing to loan her BMW out to me for a few months, of course! ).

Dating out of your financial and/or socioeconomic class...

Heh. She might do it just to teach me a lesson. No, I'm sure she'd consider all angles.

I wonder how many other women don't feel entirely comfortable being wined and dined in an expensive way? That's interesting, WWWW.

Dating out of your financial and/or socioeconomic class...

I wonder if some form of "sweat equity" might work in exchange?

Dating out of your financial and/or socioeconomic class...

Am I the only one here who wants to throttle that damn robot?

Dating out of your financial and/or socioeconomic class...

I can't believe you just jumped in and stole my compliment, A!

In my current self-pitying state I need all the "suga" (sp?) I can get, yanno?

Dating out of your financial and/or socioeconomic class...

So you're wealthy and you want to eat out at a pricey restaurant. How does that play out with your relatively poor date?

Dating out of your financial and/or socioeconomic class...

Heh. Well, that's what I'm hoping for.

But seriously...being physically attractive can only take you so far, I'm thinking. I could see a lady of means enjoying a guy as an entertaining and short-lived diversion, but in the long run...?

I guess that's part of my question, though: How much could other factors override one's lack of an impressive bottom line?

RE: You're ALL a bunch of ....

I knew that.

Dating out of your financial and/or socioeconomic class...

You're saying, G, that your guys have been in a (much?) higher income bracket? If so, I thought women were supposed to like that? Isn't it a female fantasy to be wined and dined at fancy restaurants by guys (who later offer you a day trip to the Bahamas?).

Or am I misunderstanding you here?

Dating out of your financial and/or socioeconomic class...

I'm visiting my mom next week, and she's threatening to introduce me to some very well-to-do widows - well enough to doing to spend the cost of my car on a quick shopping trip and some coffee at Starbucks.

I can just imagine driving up to their 1 - 2 million dollar home and parking beside their BMW in my 12 year old Volvo with its rust spots, droopy muffler, and drooling oil pan.

As I thought about that I began to wonder just how women view men of relatively lesser means. I know women respect and perhaps even crave financial success in men, and I don't blame them at all for that. But I'm far from sure how important a man's financial bottom-line is to a woman versus other traits.

Ladies (because I think this is FAR less important to men) - how do you feel about dating or loving someone who has less money/property than you, and whose lifestyle is modest (to put it mildly)?

To me it does seem somewhat intimidating to be expected to wine and dine a wealthy lady...

RE: You're ALL a bunch of ....

I see your thread has attracted some agape love, Al.

RE: You're ALL a bunch of ....

That's just plain dirty, A, calling us that!

RE: What would you like to say to your Ex today?

A mommy's boy, are you saying?

RE: What would you like to say to your Ex today?

Hey, I could've made them goatees, you know?

RE: What would you like to say to your Ex today?

Hi, G. Great thread, btw.

And though I couldn't throw them away, I did draw mustaches on them.

RE: What would you like to say to your Ex today?

RE: What would you like to say to your Ex today?

Was going to throw away some beautiful photos of you today. I was not able to.

RE: Marrying a cousin

You keep stating your feelings over and over again, as though they constitute some form of rational argument.

RE: Marrying a cousin

An interesting psychological exercise. Clearly the subject touches an irrational chord in some people, judging by their emotional responses.

I watched a documentary awhile back about half-siblings encountering each other by chance (not knowing they were related), and falling in love before learning the were indulging in "sibling ribaldry." I can easily imagine the emotional response that would receive from some posters here.

Funny - I was just visiting my first cousins. One of them requested that I take off my shirt, and I immediately lectured her on her innate evil (though I could hardly blame her! ).

RE: unconditional love is....

Unconditional love is...

a fantasy. And yes, you actually can stop loving your dogs and even your children given certain behaviors and conditions (admittedly not sure about cats...but then I'm a cat person )

The fantasy is that someone can love us in some absolute manner that is independent of anything we do or anything that happens. It's as comforting as any religions myth - and serves the same function.

If someone could love you in that absolute love sense, if you truly dug into the implications of such a love, you wouldn't want it. What you want instead is to be loved for who you are. Unconditional love wouldn't care about who you are.

It's sort of an eating cake and having it sort of situation. We want to be loved for who we are, of course, but we also want a *guarantee* that we will always be loved. Hence the fantasy of this absolute love. The problem is that the two are logically mutually exclusive.

The not so sad truth is that we have to be content with a love that has no guarantees - a love that we can in fact destroy as well as grow. You could almost see it as a "free will" sort of issue. To be deprived of the power to choose wrongly - to choose in a way that destroys love - is the power of free choice. To not have that power, though it may appear comforting, is to be an automaton.

RE: unconditional love is....

Isn't reciprocity a condition?

RE: When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you say ?

But I'd say that with a great deal of angst, of course, V.

RE: When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you say ?

I'd "do" me?

RE: Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Hmmm...I may need to scale down to something like that, Grizz.

RE: Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Yes, F, I think you're right about giving people the benefit of the doubt - sort of an innocent until proven guilty kind of thing, no?

Though of course I am wondering what you REALLY meant by that!

RE: Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

I've been wondering if I could charge the general public for visiting the shrine to my former relationship I set up in my spare bedroom? It cost a lot of money and time, after all, so maybe I should try to recoup some of my loses?

Well, I'm quite certain I didn't do my best, but what's done is done. Thanks, C.

RE: Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Thanks, C. It's definitely easier without the sense of having all these problems I have to solve. Now my only problem is how not to think too much about the past and not dwell on the pain too much. I'm mostly successful, though of course stuff leaks through from time to time.

RE: Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

I agree, G, and yet find merit in B's approach. Sometimes the best way to deal with complicated things is to KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid). That is, for one, not to make things more complicated than they already are (through obsessive/over-analytical thinking. Get down to basics to handle a complex or difficult problem - that kind of thing.

RE: Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Right. I know I'm doing that when I catch myself thinking the same thought (in perhaps slightly different words!) for the twentieth time.

I find that what draws out my obsessive "over-analysis" (read, at least for me, "useless repetitive analysis") is not having an answer to what seems like an important question. When it appears that my partner isn't going to offer an answer, then I feel as though I need to get one myself. That's when I've gotten caught up on a "hamster wheel" of going over and over something...as though the density and repetition of the analysis will more likely provide a satisfactory answer to something I'm very unsure about.

Strangely enough, since I've been out of my relationship, I've been doing next to none of that (at least not consciously; my dreams are another matter).

Basically - I agree with you here - you have to know when to turn off the switch. The general rule is when your thinking just isn't doing any good, or when you really have an answer but you just don't want to accept it.

I appreciate your self-honesty on this point, B.