Ambrose2007Ambrose2007 Forum Posts (8,881)

RE: Canadian Rebel ?

Heh. Al, I truly didn't think that was possible. I didn't think Canadians were even genetically capable of being rebels (or maybe it's your water??) wow laugh

Perhaps she's just a figment of our over-active imaginations? conversing confused uh oh

What language of love do you speak?

Well, you'd almost think, Monte, that one's scores could change a bit depending on one's mood! laugh confused

I don't think these scores are absolutely fixed. People can and do change - if not fundamentally, at least in significant ways.

I would've given short-shrift to "giving gifts" - sounds so mercenary and greedy, doesn't it? But after knowing gg and reading Dr. Chapman's book, I understand that it's not about being materialistic or greedy, but rather about perceiving gifts as symbols of one's love. I'm not sure at all, however, that all the languages are equally healthy. For example, if you're an "Acts of Service" kinda guy (and many, apparently, are), then you might show your love by spending all your time working at the office, feeling that this shows your devotion to your spouse and family.

But that's just plain crazy. Also, in the scale of things, surely communicating your feelings verbally ought to be more important, if it came to a choice, then buying roses or whatever.

But that isn't an excuse for ignoring your partner's preferred expressions of love. And I have been guilty of that to some degree (and vice versa as well). teddybear bouquet

What language of love do you speak?

I will just say, Nance, that your Bill is a VERY lucky man to have someone with your can-do/love-work ethic in his life. I so envy him. It's exactly what I want in my life as well.

You'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you gave it your all even if things don't turn out the way you want. And your man will never doubt how much you love and care about it - which I think will make it much easier for him to be the best man he can be - so I'm extremely optimistic about your chances. It's next to impossible to give someone your best when you wonder if they do in fact love and value you, that's for sure.teddybear hug bouquet

What language of love do you speak?

I actually thought Physical Touch would win out for me, Ginger, and it was mildly revelatory - as I thought more about it - how important words of affirmation are.

These are the things that fill our "love tank," as Dr. Chapman puts it. When you've gone a long time without receiving what you long for the most in this regard (for example, I hadn't heard a word of affirmation from my former SO in MANY months!) the tank starts to run empty.

wine hug

What language of love do you speak?

You're welcome! Did you only take part of it?? confused confused wave

What language of love do you speak?

By the way, Langley, I wanted to thank you again for recommending that book. It's been a real eye-opener, that's for sure. love wow cheers

What language of love do you speak?

Hi, Langley! Nice to see you round and about the forums!

Yeah, I used to have that. dunno laugh According to Gary Chapman (author of Five Love Languages, among other similarly themed books), most of us do get what we want during the "in-love" phase; the problems with language really start kicking in when we come down from that high to mundane reality. That's where knowing how to give your mate the love he or she wants becomes crucial.

Interesting that no one is giving the "receiving gifts" much value. If it's truly so marginal for many or most people, you'd wonder why Gary Chapman believes it's one of the five primary languages? conversing confused

I think the answer might be that "receiving gifts" can be thought of pretty broadly to include all manner of things...maybe even making a great meal (though I think he'd classify that as "Acts of Service").

Here's my take on this love language thing. Regardless of how we specifically classify a particular act as a language, the important truth, I think, is that all of us have certain preferences for receiving love, and certain acts/words that we experience as loving. The key is to learn what "floats your mate's boat" - as well as what floats yours.

Then, in the immortal words of Damon Wayan's "Spasman": "Let's get busy!"laugh hug

What language of love do you speak?

And I'm guessing you be celebrating it with...? laugh hug wine

What language of love do you speak?

Well, the author doesn't acknowledge that kind of flexibility - nor does he speak of learning to speak and enjoy other languages - of being able to even change one's preferred language to a degree, and this is where I think one area where one could make some just criticisms of his thesis, I think. head banger

What language of love do you speak?

Well, that was a generality, of course. Some people are just saints and love to give without receiving, I imagine, but I suspect that's fairly rare. Anyway, that's the author of the book's viewpoint. I think I basically agree with him, but the jury's still out. I do see some issues with his classification scheme, but...time will tell, as they say.

Ah, no. Not yet. And there's no preparation for any other lady except the one who (brutally!) stole me poor hapless heart! heart1 teddybear

What language of love do you speak?

Hmmm...maybe he was a "Acts of Service" guy who would've responded to your cleaning his pipes or painting his house or something??conversing laugh

God, it's funny to think of people with different love-communication styles talking past each other like Laurel and Hardy or Abbort and Costello or something.rolling on the floor laughing

Funny in a rather tragic way, of course...crying laugh crying dunno

What language of love do you speak?

That was kind of the idea, Monte. Not sure about the white stuff on my head and around my hand...could be bling or maybe some form of aberrant halo? dunno confused angel hmmm

What language of love do you speak?

And of course my world-famous stiletto boots! (But I'm probably pushing you to the very brink of lustful insanity, VE, so I'd better stop!blushing laugh purple heart)

And for the record, in my mind I'm still in a relationship and very much in love. The key point being "in my mind." At this point it's fortunate that I have a very active imagination! conversing dancing uh oh sad flower

What language of love do you speak?

Yeah, it's funny. To me, almost everything is more important than gift-giving - and I certainly share your viewpoint there, Monte.

Still...I have learned to love receiving gifts...being taught by an absolute master of that.

What we give others is what we desire the most, according to the book (which now resides in my hot little hands). By giving me gifts (the aforementioned "master") she was communicating to me how much she values them. But I can a little hard of hearing at times on such matters.

Now I get it, and am acting accordingly (while mourning by soon-to-be compromised budget!) blues laugh smitten love

What language of love do you speak?

laugh hug Lucky I didn't put on my blond wig, or you might've gone completely overboard! uh oh laugh gift

What language of love do you speak?

sad flower

Jeez, now you got me doing it! laugh moping frustrated bouquet

What language of love do you speak?

Why the sad flower, Pannie? dunno hmmmwave

What language of love do you speak?

It's above. I'm a WOA sorta guy, it appears. Just what I figured. Which means...saying complimentary things about me floats my stoat, so to speak... grin

What language of love do you speak?

Thanks, V. You've never said that before about me...guess the reading glasses make the man?? nerd dunno

I know someone else who likes glasses on her man... sigh mumbling

What language of love do you speak?

I'm pretty sure I know a certain someone who would score very high on the Receiving Gifts and Acts of Service categories (while they're my lowest. Veeerryyy interreesting, as they say!). wow uh oh uh oh sad flower help conversing dunno sad flower

What language of love do you speak?

I had thought I'd score higher on the "physical touch" part myself, but I guess it was high enough. I expected to be "Words of Affirmation" kinda guy. Not too far off, Envy. beer

What language of love do you speak?

Hmmm...you're missing "quality time," Monte. conversing confused wine

What language of love do you speak?

Percent Language Score
37%
Words of Affirmation 11
27%
Quality Time 8

3%
Receiving Gifts 1
7%
Acts of Service 2
27%
Physical Touch 8
How to Interpret Your Profile Score...

Pretty self-evident, I'd say. laugh blushing (Hi, C!)

I'd venture to guess that if you and your mate/gf/SO score near-opposite values for any of these languages (for instance, scoring an 8 on Receiving Gifts to my 1!), you got your some serious work to do in aligning your...Love Languages! wow uh oh dancing hug

What language of love do you speak?



It's probably best to take the test on the above website, but I thought I'd paste it below to give you an idea what it consists of.

I haven't taken the test yet, but I have pretty good idea how I'll score (and how the love of my life would score!).

"This test was adapted from The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman.

"Instructions: There will be two statements beside each number in the list below. Select the statement that best describes how you feel towards your spouse. When you are finished, click the button at the bottom labeled "Get your Love Test answer."

1:
I like it when you give me notes of affirmation.
I like it when you hug me.

2:
I like to spend one-on-one time with you.
I feel loved when you give practical help to me.

3:
I like it when you give me gifts.
I like taking long walks with you.

4:
I feel loved when you do things to help me.
I feel loved when you touch me.

5:
I feel loved when you hold me in your arms.
I feel loved when I receive a gift from you.

6:
I like to go places with you.
I like to hold hands with you.

7:
Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very important to me.
I feel loved when you affirm me.

8:
I like to sit close to you.
I like for you to tell me I am attractive/handsome.

9:
I like to spend time with you.
I like to receive little gifts from you.

10:
Your words of acceptance are important to me.
I know you love me when you help me.

11:
I like to be together when we do things.
I like it when you say kind words to me.

12:
What you do affects me more than what you say.
I feel whole when we hug.

13:
I value your praise and try to avoid your criticism.
Several inexpensive gifts from you mean more to me than one large gift.

14:
I feel close when we are talking or doing something together.
I feel closer to you when you touch me often.

15:
I like it when you compliment my achievements.
I know you love me when you do things for me that you don't enjoy doing.

16:
I like for you to touch me when I walk by.
I like it when you listen to me sympathetically.

17:
I feel loved when you help me with my jobs around the house.
I really enjoy receiving gifts from you.

18:
I like for you to compliment my appearance.
I feel loved when you take time to understand my feelings.

19:
I feel secure when you are touching me.
Your acts of service make me feel loved.

20:
I appreciate the many things you do for me.
I like receiving gifts that you make.

21:
I really enjoy the feeling I get when you give me your undivided attention.
I really enjoy the feeling I get when you do some acts of service for me.

22:
I feel loved when you celebrate my birthday with a gift.
I feel loved when you celebrate my birthday with meaningful words.

23:
I know you are thinking of me when you give me a gift.
I feel loved when you help out with my chores.

24:
I appreciate it when you listen to me patiently and don't interrupt me.
I appreciate it when you remember special days with a gift.

25:
I like to know you are concerned enough to help with my daily tasks.
I enjoy extended trips with you.

26:
Kissing me unexpectedly excites me.
Giving me a gift for no special occasion excites me.

27:
I like to be told that you appreciate me.
I like for you to look at me when we are talking.

28:
Your gifts are always special to me.
I feel good when you are touching me.

29:
I feel loved when you enthusiastically do some task I have requested.
I feel loved when you tell me how much you appreciate me.

30:
I need to be touched every day.

RE: Justice for Osama. An Englishman speaks his mind.

Yes, well, all very inspiring (I usually find this guy's commentary fairly intelligent), except -

1) Bin Laden was basically a CIA asset - his organization aided and abetted by the USG (and perhaps even created by it?);

2) Bin Laden was not wanted by American authorities for 9/11 (the FBI stated that they had no solid evidence to indict him);

3) He denied - TWICE - any involvement in 9/11, though later videotapes and communiques of dubious provenance contradicted that;

4) We really don't know what happened in the SEAL mission because, conveniently, the USG has made no videorecordings or photos available, and disposed of his body post-haste.

Questions about mercy and the philosophy of justice may be interesting as a hypothetical philosophic exercise, but are largely beside the point until we know the truth - which the USG clearly is not telling us.

If this operation was about "fighting terror," then obviously bin Laden should've been captured alive (which he very easily could've been - SEAL teams are more than capable of accomplishing that). The information he could've provided would be priceless.

The fact that he was (allegedly) killed in this operation demonstrates not some boldly "anti-PC" stroke of justice, but rather an extreme concern about what Bin Laden would say in any open-court testimony.

RE: Would you marry yourself?

I'm perfect and I'm still not happy with who I am. confused dunno hmmm

RE: Bye all - The Dobe is leaving the forums

In the case of Dobie, I'm glad it's (VERY) long goodbye! laugh hug

RE: who do you think is the best special forces in the world

Jeez, how could you leave out the Green Berets (Army Special Forces)?

I suspect if you pitted a special forces team from one country against another it would come down the individual talents of the team members (and random luck, of course). Seems unlikely that one group would be better (predictably) overall. conversing dunno hmmm

RE: Would you marry yourself?

Guess it depends on how you define "Symmetry." I mean by that something which is complementary - for example, you're afraid of bugs whereas I like to squash them, that kind of thing. "Non-symmetrical" would be two people who do exactly the same thing - like a couple where both are afraid of bugs. You could view them as being out-of-balance when the quality they share is a weakness.

That's why I think symmetry, as I conceptualize it re romantic relationships, is something desirable - and unattainable if you were to marry your double. It's probably not a good idea for the same reason marrying your cousin isn't a good idea. Complementary differences - both genetic and personal - are the ideal, methinks.
wine head banger

RE: Would you marry yourself?

"Symmetrical differences" I should've said. conversing bouquet

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