Ambrose2007 Forum Posts (8,881)

RE: Honesty

I still think Roark could kick John's butt, though. I mean, all that time in the rock quarry and in construction, you know?

RE: Honesty

I thought the issue was whether or not you could "imagine" such a thing, Best? You said you couldn't; now you're saying something else entirely, it seems.

So, speaking honestly, what was your motive in saying that?

RE: Honesty

Howard Roark!!

RE: Honesty

Then you have an awfully limited imagination, Best.

RE: Honesty

Thanks, V. But we both know I've been a tad overly "authentic" at times, no?

RE: Honesty

Thanks, Abagail. I've even given the the subject of considerable thought considerable thought.

Yeah, I noticed after I wrote the "self-honesty" part that you had written something very similar earlier in the thread.

In reading through the thread, I get the feeling I'm missing some form of subtext (judging from some of the posts that don't make much sense to me). Regardless, this is a beautiful thread, A, and I hope you'll stick with it. And that's not a white lie, either.

RE: Honesty

Howard Roark is the ultimate Honest Man in fiction, I think.

RE: Honesty

Okay, but...do you recall when Dagny asked John Galt if she looked fat in her new dress?

JG: "Well, Dagny..." Clearing his throat and looking nervously around his lab. "What can I say? A does equal A, after all..."

RE: Honesty

Not sure what you mean by "individual concept," V.

Your first example really resonated. I believe the most dishonest I've been in a relationship is along those lines (and I would say the same of my partners). It's particularly touchy when you want someone to share your feelings very strongly about another person (though it could really be anything). You really don't want to disappoint your partner by disagreeing with (or disapproving of) their feelings with respect to someone they care about (or dislike).

There are certain kinds of questions which are almost guaranteed to get a dishonest answer. One of those is: Do you love me more than your former partner?

RE: Honesty

Nice one, Leigh. Honesty consists of being fair-minded in a very basic respect. Honesty is about respecting the truth, and being unbiased/fair-minded is the only way to acquire truth. It is being dishonest to believe in things without evidence, for example. How much would that kind of honesty carry over into, say, one's relationships?

RE: Honesty

Good point, V. I think it's mostly about being "authentic" - a real person who's not afraid to show him or herself.

RE: Honesty

Wow - very well and thoughtfully written reflections, Abagail!

A lot has been written on the subject of lying. Those who've studied it have determined that everyone lies - and frequently. That's no doubt true, but I think the nature of those lies bears on the overall honesty or dishonesty of a person. I mean, that I think certain kinds of small white lies can be either harmless and possibly even better than telling the absolute truth (that seems to be the consensus of psychologists who've studied the phenomenon). Jim Carey's character would likely have caused a better situation for himself and others if he had lied at times in the course of the movie (if memory serves).

I guess I would say that some people are fundamentally honest - honest in the important ways that allow them to be authentic in their relationships - and those who are basically dishonest (they are not authentic - that is, they present more of a persona than a real person).

And then I'd guess there are lots of people that fall in the grey area between being mostly honest and mostly dishonest.

There are different forms of honesty, I think. The most important form of honesty, in my opinion, is self-honesty. It's know who you are and why you do and say what you do. If you aren't honest about yourself it will be impossible for you to be honest with others.

I feel I am exceptionally self-honest. There is virtually nothing about myself that I haven't placed under a microscope at one point or another, and I've been willing to face and own up to the negative things I've seen there, I think - especially over the last few months.

I have a feeling what most of us are most dishonest about in a relationship (I mean those of us who are not seriously screwed up) is in sharing our feelings. I think that's mostly because we fear the consequences of such sharing.

When Do Attempts At Persuasion Become Controlling and Manipulative?

"Controlling." It almost amounts to a curse word when used in relationships. Sometimes there's no "almost" about it. What is controlling behavior, and how do we distinguish it from merely being "pushy" or from attempts at persuasion? When does it become something we'd classify as abusive? What do people usually mean when they call someone a "control freak"?

I'm curious how CSers would define controlling behavior. I'd also be interested in seeing them discuss their own experiences with partners they considered controlling.

"Manipulative" is another word that often comes up in describing one's partners. Is it a form of controlling behavior? What constitutes "manipulation"?

Let the games begin.

RE: How many Hours does it take for a women to feel Confortable Enough to Jump in the sack with U..?

The infamous bachelor adviser, "Mystery," claims that he averages 7 hours with a woman before bedding her.

RE: What level of "public displays of affection" are you comfortable with?

My favorite "public make-out moment" - one that will stay with me always - was when my love and I were kissing passionately back in one corner of a book store, and the owner strolled by and asked: "How are you two making out?"

I thought that was a pretty clever line. (And the answer, of course, was "GREAT!")

RE: Great cover songs that are very different from the original.

I was thinking of this thread last night as I listened to Johnny Cash's cover of Neil Diamond's "Solitary Man." Diamond's version is kind of soft and mushy, while Cash's is hard and gritty - full of angst and bitterness. I don't even especially like Cash, but in my opinion he greatly improved Diamond's version with a strong and inspired guitar accompaniment and his dark, gritty vocals.

RE: Finally... some acknowledgement and accountability..... maybe

It's like the stoat suing the foxes for misleading information about how many chickens were in the henhouse.

RE: %1 tax ?

It was apparently introduced into Congress and then died.

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

You mean my old pet iguana?

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

Yeah...heck, maybe I did it and forgot about it. But I have a feeling I'd offer a warped different perpective from most.

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

"Futterwaken"? I guess I should consult my English-German dictionary...

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

Do you think I need some form of consolation, V?

God, I can think of few things more boring and unfulfilling in life than a subservient woman (sorry, Al!). That said, I do think reverence and some form of submission is part and parcel of male-female relations...

So - quickly to return to music to avoid further admonitions - what part in musical tastes does "male music" and "female music" play, and how would that relate to one's sense of life/personality?

For instance, perhaps some women would prefer hard masculine rock or maybe semi-feminist Lilith Faire stuff? What does that say about their sense of life, and about their attitudes toward men and relationships (if anything)?

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

But back to the subject of music...

Do you believe it's possible for two people to be ideally compatible while having extremely different musical tastes?

I'd say no.

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

"To regard with ardent or adoring esteem or devotion." No even to that, Life? But you appear to contradict this when you write later: "I would adore, respect, admire, love,.......…a man who is honest, monogamous and in love with me."

And why would you believe that there's something spiritually advanced about not expecting reciprocity? That would just seem dumb to me.

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

Yeah, we should probably take this discussion (if we wished to continue it) offlist, V.

But shouldn't that be "WE really must stop hijacking...?" Takes two to tango, yanno.

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

I didn't assume (I considered it to be a speculative possibility). That's why I asked. So are you a man-worshiper (in the general, "non-presidential" sense)?

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

I take it you don't agree with her on her "man-worshiping" beliefs, then, V?

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

Me reading with facetiousness? Seriously, that kind of pronouncement would take a LOT of work to unpack (and I've read several attempts at it!), which would be beyond the purview of CS...though I have been known to stretch that purview at tad at times.

Okay, I'm wondering, V...do you share Rand's belief that women should look up to/revere men as their natural leaders? For example, she didn't believe a woman would make a good president. What do you think of that?

RE: Does the music that you prefer reveal your personality?

Okay, great, now we've got why men create art cleared away. Now what about women? (I'm almost afraid to ask!)

America the Free????

Hmmm...maybe I should ask you to write a guest article, V?