When a man holds open a door for a woman, or carries her heavy bags, he is doing so under the guise of an implicit pact between himself and all of womenkind. He assumes her relative weakness, modesty and submissiveness, and she assumes his strength and leadership. There is an unspoken agreement that both sides will hold up their end of the bargain. Implicit, too, in chivalry is a subconscious awareness that women are reproductively more valuable than men. Without a man’s confidence in these assumptions, the rationale for chivalry, and the desire to grant it, dissipate like the memories of so many one night stands.
Feminism is, at its core, an ideology of will to power scaffolded by lies. It has little to do with equality. It’s goal is the power aggrandizement of women at the expense of men (as it has to be since power is zero sum), and by whatever means necessary. That’s it. As long as feminism remains a force in modern society, and sabotages the minds of significant numbers of yummies (Young urban minxes), chivalry is DOA. The two ideologies not only have nothing in common, they are conspicuously antagonistic.
Of course we spend all our lives trying to fix the 'unfixable' we never really get over that great traumatic separation. Connected to the heartbeat of the cosmos, all needs met in the warm wet world of the womb, then suddenly thrust into an at times desperate world, we never really recover. We spend all our lives trying to recover that lost connection, with nature, with others or maybe with gods. To accept our aloneness is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves, for when we are thrown back on our own resources we find out who we really are. It's our aloneness, or acceptance of it that allows our uniqueness to unfold.
"Loneliness is a condition of human life, an experience of being human which enables the individual to sustain, extend and deepen his humanity. Efforts to overcome or escape the existential experience of loneliness acn result only in self-alienation. When man is removed from a fundamental truth of life, when he successfully evades and denies the terrible loneliness of individual existence, he shuts himself off from the one significant avenue of his own growth."
You pick up on a good point here jac. The wounds of too-muchness and not enoughness, engulfment or abandonment can play out in later life in much the same way. It's impossible to escape the wounding of this world, parent child encounters provide the vast majority of them and they are usually internalised as complexes. The question is whether we have the wounds or they have us. Consider two different types of childhood wounding, those of engulfment or abandonment. It might seem simplistic to say that the traumas of life fall into either of these two categories, the wound of two much or the wound of too little, but from each category one might unconsciously choose a coping behaviour that is diametrically opposed to the strategy chosen by someone else in the same situation. Both engulfment and abandonment can leave the young child in a similar state of fear and confusion.
"Parents should always be conscious of the fact that they themselves are the principle cause of neurosis in their children. Children are so deeply involved in the psychological attitude of their parents that it is no wonder that most nervous disturbances in childhood can be tracked back to a disturbed psychic atmosphere in the home."
The initiator of a thread does have some control over it but admin moderate the forums. They do ask us not to start a thread unless we are prepared to display some form of control over it which I had had to do just once.
I've worked as a climbing instructor and from my experience up to the age of around 14 girls climb better than the same age boys. Beyond that there remains little difference and women compete successfully against men in the climbing world. In fact some of our best climbers are women.
It's a form of fear, fundamentaly the fear of abandonment...a self preservation strategy with its roots in our childhood. We all have the potential to feel jealousy when we are unable to face and deal with our insecurities. It's a most unwelcome affliction.
bodleing Forum Posts (13,810)
Spring has been delayed
Spring has been delayed here in the uk this year.Freezing temps, bitterly cold winds and 15ft snow drifts has kept the uk firmly in the grip of Winter with no sign of Spring....
Many cars, like these stuck in snow on the South Downs, near Brighton, had to be abandoned when heavy snow hit the South East earlier this week.
A picture postcard scene near Allenheads in Northumberland after heavy snow.
Brighton beach is covered in a blanket of snow
Brighton beach the same time last year...