I'm rather hoping to find others with actual experience. I'm not saying it's horrible to be out with an attractive man who doesn't seem to have an agenda! I don't want to spoil something that could grow (very) slowly into something worth having. I have no idea what effect it would have asking bluntly. I've asked obliquely and the subject has changed so smoothly it was impossible to go back. I should have pushed it, yes. I left it.
Haha Molly, I couldn't! I simply couldn't think how to ask it without saying 'take me now you fool' and I didn't (and don't) know if I was ready to jump to last base!!
I know the guy likes me. We flirt, we laugh, we have a great time, every time we get together. He's warm, he's attentive, he's obviously keen but never makes a pass, we enjoy the evening and then - silence. If I call him (which doesn't come naturally to me, tbh) he's delighted and we make a date and - ditto.
I'm completely confused. He MUST be the one to call me next time, I'm beginning to feel like a stalker.
Yes. Happened once to me. It is horrible, and it is cowardly.
We did talk, eventually, and I got to understand that he was what he was and that he thought if we talked about it I would convince him otherwise (I'm apparently more persuasive than I ever knew) and the underlying problems would still be there. I got that. I think I would have got that at the time, given the chance! Or I would have talked him round.
Who knows. I'm okay with it now. At the time it was awful.
One thing I've learned is it isn't always, or even partly, about where YOU went wrong. Men panic. They panic at the first glitch, they panic when it is getting into unfamiliar territory, they panic when they think too much will be asked of them, and they take their fears, and their insecurities, and bolt with them.
Another thing I learned, the more you try to draw away, the more they follow. Stubborn. But for all I know women are exactly the same. I have never tried to get away from a woman
Yikes, bed hogging should have been an option, it is sooooooo annoying! I was really talking about new relationships, though, when the first gloss is wearing off and you find it isn't going to stay the distance.
7 billion people on the planet, roughly half of them female? No, never a shortage!
Women you want to spend time with? Maybe not running into millions, but enough to see you out ... so with you, not a question of realizing it isn't going to work, it never was intended to. That's your turn up, darlin', hope you enjoyed the ride, tell yer friends?
Sheesh. Women like diamonds. They're our best friends. I love window-shopping jewellery but have learned to walk briskly past when I'm with a fella, even a friend.
You're gonna stay single forever, mate, if you come out in a cold sweat at even the possibility that a woman wants you long-term.
I am fed-up to the back teeth with being distrusted, grilled, stalked, controlled. Enough IS enough. I wanted a louder version but this will have to do.
Space is incredibly important. I would just like - since I am so possessive - that he doesn't go to singles bars on his own when I am writing or doing my own thing
Mindgames generally, WHY? A complete, absolute and final turnoff, I lose interest on the spot but they must work with some people because more and more seem to play them (I'm going here by the polls and blogs more than by personal experience, I'm roger, over and out after the first attempt)
Circumstances alter cases and to know all is to understand all. HOWEVER, I don't do grey areas either. People who want to be with anyone else, however fleetingly, are free to be with anyone else permanently, goodbye, don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Elegsabiff Forum Posts (695)
Is he / she interested or not?
I'm rather hoping to find others with actual experience. I'm not saying it's horrible to be out with an attractive man who doesn't seem to have an agenda! I don't want to spoil something that could grow (very) slowly into something worth having. I have no idea what effect it would have asking bluntly. I've asked obliquely and the subject has changed so smoothly it was impossible to go back. I should have pushed it, yes. I left it.