Rush Limbaugh was riding down a country road in his limo, when his driver accidentally hit and killed a pig. Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the farmer. They drove up to the farm, and the chauffeur got out. He knocked on the front door and was let in, but remained inside for a surprisingly long time. When the chauffeur returned, Limbaugh asked what had taken so long. "Well," the driver explained, "when I went in, the farmer shook my hand and offered me a beer. Then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "What did you tell the farmer?" Limbaugh asked. The chauffeur replied, "I told him that I was Rush Limbaugh's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
An old Arab man living in NYC is depressed. You see he loves to garden and plant vegetables. He doesn’t have the strength to dig up his garden this season, and his only son is at a University in Paris. Depressed he emails his son and writes
My beloved son,
I am afraid that for the first time I will not be able to plant my vegetables. You know that this is the only thing that keeps me going, and this joy is gone now. I wish you were home to help me out.
The son was upset so he decided to email his father back. My beloved father,
I have hidden a “thing” in your garden to help you out. That is all and good luck.
A few hours later the FBI, the CIA, the ARMY, the NAVY, the AIR FORCE, and the MARINES, enter the old man’s house and dig up the garden to find the “thing.” To their surprise they all found nothing and left the house.
A day later the son emails the father again.
Beloved father
I am sure you will have no problem now planting your vegetables.
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months.
If this is not your answer, you are among 2% of people who have a different, if not abnormal, mind. 98% of the folks would answer a red hammer while doing this exercise.
Fellfrosch Forum Posts (774)
RE: Lyrics
System of a Down?