FellfroschFellfrosch Forum Posts (774)

Operating systems as beers

DOS Beer -- Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.

Mac Beer -- At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.

Windows 3.1 Beer -- The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for apparently no reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.

OS/2 Beer -- Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously too, but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans won't explode when you open them, even if you shake them up. You never really see anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold.

Windows 95 Beer -- You can't buy it yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it and claim it's wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but tastes more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows 95 Beer and say they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at the small print, has some of the same ingredients that come in DOS beer, even though the manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.

Windows NT Beer -- Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but the company promises to change the can to look just like Windows 95 Beer's - after Windows 95 beer starts shipping. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and suggested only for use in bars.

Unix Beer -- Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64 oz. Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though they claim that all the different brands taste almost identical. Sometimes the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to have your own can opener around for those occasions, in which case you either need a complete set of instructions, or a friend who has been drinking Unix Beer for several years.

AmigaDOS Beer -- The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has been picked up by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an import. This beer never really sold very well because the original manufacturer didn't understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, AmigaDOS Beer fans are an extremely loyal and loud group. It originally came in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in 32-oz. cans too. When this can was originally introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design hasn't changed much over the years, so it appears dated now. Critics of this beer claim that it is only meant for watching TV anyway.

VMS Beer -- Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and sipping. However cans have been known on occasion to explode, or contain extremely un-beer-like contents.

Cool test

At the end of this message, you are asked a question. Answer it immediately. Don't stop and think about it. Just say the first thing that pops into your mind. Now... just follow the instructions as quickly as possible. Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the previous one. You do not need to write or remember the answers, just do it using your mind. You'll be surprised.

Start: How much is

15 + 6















29 + 2















12 + 53















75 + 26















25 + 52















63 + 32















I know! Calculations are hard work, but it's nearly over. Come on, one more...















123 + 5




















QUICK! THINK ABOUT A COLOR AND A TOOL!



What are your answer?

RE: Humour Contest for the New Year !!!

Thanks you! wave

I nominate Eric

RE: are many people on website regard themselves as being crazy ?...and why ?

I'm like myself. I do only things I wanna do.

But for the ppl around it looks very strange.

But that is me.

And I like it to be other as the others.

hug

RE: are many people on website regard themselves as being crazy ?...and why ?

Should have a family, should manage a household, should not go 5 days a week to party etc ( all these things had ppl around accused me)

grin

RE: are many people on website regard themselves as being crazy ?...and why ?

If you would know me in real life, you would know why.

Because I'm unpredictable.

And because I don't behaving myself like a woman in my age should behaving itself.

Because I have mostly different preferences as the others.

Because I have a strange kind of humor.

Because I'm other as the others.

RE: has anybody here on connectingsingles got any special powers ?

I'm a magician. I can make air smelling. grin

RE: whats the difference between you as a person this year... and you as a person same time last year ?

Not a special difference.

I'm getting older and grew up. I learn more and make mistakes and learn more again.

But I'm still myself.

Relationship, work, just these things are only external circumstances. It's nothing what is define me.

As a person I'm still the same, but older and wiser ( I hope it).

I don't calculatedly chancing myself. It's happened. But this is a steady progress.

JMO

RE: If you could up and move .....

Egypt or Maldive Islands

Players

grin

Players

ia wuitzil russky na skolie. 6 liet dlienisch. But the most I have forget, because I haven't spoken it for a long time.

Players

Danke schön. Wünsche ich dir auch. santa waving

RE: The Big Lebowski

Great movie!

cheers

Players

da.

ia gawariu plocho po-rusky. ia sawil mnogo. ia schelaemui tebie s raschwestom.

I hope this was right.
cheers

Players

My russian isn`t the best any more, but I know this sond with an other text.
But I find yours better. cheers

Who Was Jesus?

*good arguments that Jesus was black:

1. He called everyone "brother".
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.


*equally good that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he
was God.


* good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.


* good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

*good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

*However, the most compelling evidence of all are 3 proofs that Jesus was
a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just
didn't get it.
3. And even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more
work to do.

Players

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

Sorry, my fault, I meaned I have forget to dress my trousers this morning. Not my underwear.

Players

I have take a walk this morning through the whole city. I think many ppl have seen it.
grin

But now I know why it was so cold on my legs. rolling on the floor laughing

Players

You see my thong? shock



Dammed, I've again forget to dress my pants this morning, frustrated

Microsoft Restaurant

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support

Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem;how was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

Waiter leaves.

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day $2.50
Access to Support $1.00
TOTAL $8.50 + tax

RE: What is your New Year's resolution?

Nothing. I like all how it is.

If I would chance someone, I chance it in the moment it deranges me.

Not because it is new year.

RE: Describe Your Real Life Personality..

I'm not shy, i like it to meet new people.

I haven't a problem to speak to strangers.

And most times I like it to stand in the middle.

Players

These was the cause of making this poll.

Players

My fault.

I beg your pardon. bowing

rolling on the floor laughing

Players

Everbody knows there are more then one person here on this site, who is a player.

Who tells other people that he/she is looking for a partner but in reality he/she will just play with people.

Now, we have here a anonymous way for outing.

It´s should be very interesting, how much would make their chose in this poll.

Good looking

oooch! Too bad!!moping

Good looking

oooch! Too bad!!moping

Women's Point System

40? sounds better? grin

Women's Point System

blues

-10 rolling on the floor laughing

Women's Point System

moping

This is a list of forum posts created by Fellfrosch.

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