* Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa"
* Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
* Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
* While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
* Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
* Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
* Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
* Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
* Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."
* Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
* While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
* Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
* While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
* Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
* Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa"
* Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
* Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
* While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
But my $150 includes all, bottled water, fruits, vegetables, meat, bread, sausages, cheese, ............... All for eating 3 meals a day. one of them warm cooked food.
* That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
* That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
* That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
* That it's taking me a longtime to become the person I want to be.
* That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
* That you can keep going long after you can't.
* That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
* That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
* That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
* That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
* That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
* That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
* That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
* That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
* That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
* That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
* That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
* That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
* That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
* That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
* That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
* That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
* That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
* That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
* That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
* That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
# The most destructive habit: Worry # The greatest Joy: Giving # The greatest loss: Loss of self-respect # The most satisfying work: Helping others # The ugliest personality trait: Selfishness # The most endangered species: Dedicated leaders # Our greatest natural resource: Our youth # The greatest "shot in the arm": Encouragement # The greatest problem to overcome: Fear # The most effective sleeping pill Peace of mind # The most crippling failure disease: Excuses # The most powerful force in life: Love # The most dangerous pariah: A gossiper # The world's most incredible computer: The brain # The worst thing to be without: Hope # The deadliest weapon: The tongue # The two most power-filled words: "I Can" # The greatest asset: Faith # The most worthless emotion: Self-pity # The most beautiful attire: SMILE! # The most prized possession: Integrity # The most powerful channel of communication: Prayer # The most contagious spirit: Enthusiasm # The most important thing in life: YOU
* Age 3: Looks at herself and sees a Queen * Age 8: Looks at herself and sees herself as Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty. * Age 15: Looks at herself and sees herself as Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty/Cheerleader or if she is PMS'ing: sees Fat/Pimples/UGLY ("Mom I can't go to school looking like this!") * Age 20: Looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she's going anyway. * Age 30: Looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, she's going anyway. * Age 40: Looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but says, "At least I'm clean" and goes anyway. * Age 50: Looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she wants to go. * Age 60: Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world. * Age 70: Looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life. * Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.
Send this on to all the women you are grateful to have as friends. Maybe we should all grab that purple hat a little earlier!
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen within her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole. But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!
There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious.
* Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. * Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. * Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. * When you say, "I love you," mean it. * When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. * Be engaged at least six months before you get married. * Believe in love at first sight. * Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much. * Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. * In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. * Don't judge people by their relatives. * Talk slowly but think quickly. * When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "why do you want to know?" * Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.. * Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. * When you lose, don't lose the lesson * Remember the three R's: respect for self; respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions. * Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. * When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. * Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. * Spend some time alone.
Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster Vista would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that let's you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances. If they couldn't prove that they were purchased legitimately then they would no longer work. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters.
If Apple made toasters:
It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier. The toast would make a little smiley face at you when it popped up, or else it would get stuck and there would be a little picture of a bomb burned onto it. If they break, these toasters would require a special set of MacToaster Tools to even open up. Worldwide market share would only be 5%, but all the bread in school lunches would be exclusively toasted on the MacToaster.
The nice guy/gal who can give you a secure life( which is sometimes a little bit boring and daily the same) or do you like more a bad guy/girl, who can make your life exciting.
For me should it be a mixed up of great personality, charisma and good look. And good look means for me that he is attractive for me and in my eyes, it dosn´t mean that i look for "Mister Universe"!
And for my personal opinion, he should not be too nice. A little bit bad boy is great.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can really never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99- cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."
Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label-maker.
Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
Fellfrosch Forum Posts (774)
Good looking
Tarzan: " Jane, grab my liana!!"Jane did.
Tarzan: "Ahhhhhiaaahiaaaa!"